Dear Nate,
I've appreciated our correspondence over the years. It pleased me to see that, right after I sent that memo to you that Andre might not be our starter, you began to speak up about that as well. It was good to see that our strategy of using Andre to make the second unit into a devastating weapon worked so well against the Rockets.
We've both had a lot of positive things to say about Travis and his potential over the years, and it was nice to see in the last game. Please mention to him that I'm proud of him, and that I hope he'll bring that defensive and rebounding effort on a consistent basis. One game doesn't a season make. But that was an "out of this world money" kind of game, I must say. Perhaps we can see a few more of them.
Nate, the real reason I'm writing, though, is about tonight's game. As you no doubt know, Denver played last night, a tough game against Utah, and got a nice solid win in their home opener. These kinds of games, home opener against a strong division rival, can leave some guys feeling rather drained emotionally. And, of course, physically drained as well, since Melo played 40 minutes, and other key players played over 30 minutes.
You will know that J.R. Smith and Renaldo Balkman are both suspended for this game. That means their depth is kind of suspect. Lawson is a nice backup, and so is Birdman, but they aren't deep. Foul trouble could be a problem for them, and when guys are tired, they tend to foul more (ask Greg about this from last year).
Nate, make them even more tired. I'm especially thinking about Carmelo, who played 40 minutes, and is a dangerous player. Please make sure that the guys understand that a valuable weapon in defending players like this is to wear them down on the other end. I'm thinking particularly about Martell.
Please, Nate, for this evening, have Martell constantly running off of screens. It is harder to fight through a screen then it is to run around it. And of course, if Martell gets tired from constant effort, we can have Travis do the same, or Rudy. I would like to see Anthony chasing Martell, and then chasing Rudy.
Keep that four seconds across mid-court thing going tonight. And please avoid Roy isolations except for final possessions in the quarter, or when Melo is guarding Brandon, or when we get down to the last six minutes or so. We want these guys, and especially Anthony, to work on the defensive end. We don't want Carmelo standing around and watching while a teammate tries to guard Brandon. He must work, work, work. We know he makes a lot of clutch shots at the end of the game. We want him to be very tired by then. If he gets tired sooner, clutch shots might be irrelevant.
We can wear these guys down. And their bench is so depleted, they won't be able to keep up with ours. Have Andre post up Lawson -- he's not used to defending a player like Andre.
We should be able to give these guys a whipping.
Oh, did I mention the weather? Seems like they had a foot of snow in Denver, which means the travel to Portland will have been worse for them. The more we push them, the more likely they are to fold. Fatigue will set in at some point -- the more we work them, the worse that will be.
Best of luck, Nate. You know how well my suggestions work out when you follow them. I don't expect you to follow them all, of course. You are the coach, and I am not yet ruler of the world, so you have some leeway on taking my suggestions. For now. Yet, should you ignore too many of my suggestions, I unfortunately might remember that later. World dictators (even the benevolent ones) have a tendency to remember things. Especially if it is things that led to their favorite team losing a game. Perhaps it should not be that way, but it is. I say this with the utmost consideration and respect for you, knowing that you will listen with the utmost attention to anything I say on the Internet about your duties.
Yours sincerely,
jscot (future ruler of the world and Internet bletherer supreme)
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Now I know why Nate is such a good coach.
hakkaa päälle !
by timg56 on Oct 29, 2009 6:25 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Now I know why Nate is such a bad coach.
by tevisthe4th on Oct 29, 2009 7:59 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Now I know why Nate is such a meh coach.
"A bizarre and extremely rare hybrid Blazer/Laker fan, Timbo has always struggled to contain the Beast Within, like Dr. Jekyll, Bruce Banner, or Ted Kennedy." — Miled Animal
by timbo on Oct 29, 2009 8:22 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Now I know why Nate is such a coach
The season's finally here!
by SabasforThree on Oct 29, 2009 8:30 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Now I know Nate is a coach.
Bring back Franz Bread Cards!
by newbergfan on Oct 29, 2009 8:36 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Nate's a coach?
"Fernandez, to my eyes, is the Blazer who walks that walk most comfortably. A lot of Portland's fans (egged on, dare I say, by their local broadcasters) lament things like how Ron Artest or Yao Ming get to hit Brandon Roy's arms.
But I suspect Fernandez sees all that and thinks: We get to hit arms! Cool!"
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-39-135/On-Playoff-Experience.html
"I told Pau the Lakers never win here in Portland; I think it's great." -- Rudy Fernandez
by ratbastird on Oct 29, 2009 9:26 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Now I know
and knowing is half the battle.
"you rock, sir" -prezofdeath
"You can add me to the list of those who think you rock" -Mortimer
"you rock
see above" -Zaron5551
"you still rock, sir." -Zaron5551
"dear sir: you rock" -austinpwnz
by Sarbonis on Oct 29, 2009 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I know why the caged bird sings
"I just sort of know that around the water cooler they talk of reality tv stars, and I strictly drink coffee." -- EvilKaramazov
by BlazersOrBust on Oct 29, 2009 9:41 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nate has such a good New Couch

dinasour type of guys choir boys
by mittsabishy on Oct 29, 2009 10:05 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Seriously
I love you guys
- Neil
by Blazin'aTrail on Oct 29, 2009 10:34 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
And a nice couch
He bought wife Michelle a new Black Cadillac Escalade for Xmas in 2003.
by LaoTzu on Oct 29, 2009 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
that just sounds dirty.
better wash the sand out.
"Fernandez, to my eyes, is the Blazer who walks that walk most comfortably. A lot of Portland's fans (egged on, dare I say, by their local broadcasters) lament things like how Ron Artest or Yao Ming get to hit Brandon Roy's arms.
But I suspect Fernandez sees all that and thinks: We get to hit arms! Cool!"
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-39-135/On-Playoff-Experience.html
"I told Pau the Lakers never win here in Portland; I think it's great." -- Rudy Fernandez
by ratbastird on Oct 29, 2009 11:41 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I hear his cooch is pretty nice as well.
hakkaa päälle !
by timg56 on Oct 29, 2009 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Dear Nate
Please show some trust in players other than Brandon. Notice how Phil has a similar relationship with Kobe but notice the difference is that Phil will criticize Kobe when it’s called for.
Please create an offense than isn’t stagnant and predictable. Every coach in the league pointed and laughed at your offense as you were bounced from the playoffs last season and things look very similar after one game. (Prayer time: Please Baby Jesus, prevent the 2009-2010 version of the Portland Tralblazers from having the most boring plodding offense in the league. Amen.)
Please play Andre Miller a lot of minutes (see above)
Blazer Fan
by leeroyjenkins on Oct 29, 2009 7:36 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
It's Official!..
Apparently every thread… no matter the topic… must contain negative comments regarding Brandon Roy, our mis-use of Andre Miller and our cruddy, plodding offense.
Dear Future Ruler of the World… Though I am unworthy I request that at the start of your reign as such you declare that at least one thread on our beloved BE must be free from unfounded negative speculation of this kind… (I know probably not gonna happen but a homers gotta have a dream)
Great post as usual jscot. Sounds like a recipe for success to me.
GO BLAZERS!!!
by Ilikeemall on Oct 29, 2009 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Dear Nate . . .
please disregard any comparisons to that TEAM formerly from
Minneapolis and it’s arrogant throne sitting psuedo coach and
rapist gunner. Any correlations ( and sentences ending with a preposition)
should be ignorred completely, including emulating their offense and
defensive schemes. Keep preaching defense, running the offense through
BRoy and bring Miller off the bench to stimulate and create for our 2nd unit.
In regards to THUGGets, please encourage the defense to man up, bang
and hold, to give them a dose of their own actions. In addition, please remind
the distributors to get GO the ball on the move, as well as when he establishes
good low post position. Direct Smooth to start on the block before settling for the
jumper (even though it’s SMOOTH) and to bang the boards with some ferrocity !
GO BLAZERS !!!!
& DOWN WITH COINCAST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's GO time !
by walkoff41 on Oct 29, 2009 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
please remind the distributors to get GO the ball on the move
This shouldn’t be a problem at the beginning of each half, since Andre will be sitting on the bench within easy earshot of Nate…while Oden is rebounding and playing defense (but rarely touching the ball while on the move…)
catch? meet 22
When reached 40 years of following Portland basketball you have, be as passionate of the Trail Blazers you will not!
by two4larue on Oct 29, 2009 2:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
As future ruler...
you will be cold, calculating and yet still a little bit colorful. At times pointed; at other times dull. You will be universally appealing, offering familiarity to independent minded Americans as well as progressive minded Europeans. Suffering from a short memory, you will be easily turned on, yet will unexpectedly go off if not touched for a few minutes.
I hadn’t anticipated the blatant offering of drugs, but that only adds to the mystery.

The cowards never started
The weak died along the way
Only the strong survived
They were the Trailblazers
by lukeyhere on Oct 29, 2009 9:06 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Awesome!
And for the uneducated masses (that would be me):
What is Histrelin implant?
HISTRELIN (Vantas™) implant releases a continual dose of a drug that is like a natural hormone in the body called gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH). The implant, a small, thin flexible tube, is placed under the skin. The implant delivers histrelin to your body continuously over 12 months. Certain diseases, such as prostate cancer, may respond to histrelin. Generic histrelin implants are not available.
"Either way we have two phenomenal units. I'm excited to play with either one." - Martell Webster
by lee3022 on Oct 29, 2009 12:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Flag for gonadotropin releaseage.
Where’s that Nad fella?
by levelhed on Oct 29, 2009 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hey Nate, here is another suggestion.....
……I agree with jscot, and not just because of his awesome power and intellect.
I would like to add another suggestion. Given the Nuggets are likely to be a bit fatigued and their depth is suspect, lets see if we can get them in some foul trouble. Instruct Steve to get the ball to Oden early and see if he can pick up some fouls. Talk to Brandon about trying to take it to the hole early. Get Andre in on the plan.
If we can get KMart, Nene, and/or Birdman in trouble, the game is going to get much easier. We will win the battle on the boards and get easier scores. Make it so.
by upper left corner on Oct 29, 2009 9:37 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
i believe that requires
bribing the refs.
"Fernandez, to my eyes, is the Blazer who walks that walk most comfortably. A lot of Portland's fans (egged on, dare I say, by their local broadcasters) lament things like how Ron Artest or Yao Ming get to hit Brandon Roy's arms.
But I suspect Fernandez sees all that and thinks: We get to hit arms! Cool!"
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-39-135/On-Playoff-Experience.html
"I told Pau the Lakers never win here in Portland; I think it's great." -- Rudy Fernandez
by ratbastird on Oct 29, 2009 11:42 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Made me smile
If bribes were all it took, we would be in great shape given the thickness of PA’s wallet. My concern is with those pesky TV ratings, and I don’t know how to rig those.
by upper left corner on Oct 29, 2009 12:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Have TV guide list the timeslot for the game
as “Dancing with the stars”. In general humans are an ignorant mass and will just assume they are dancing with a basketball.
by lurtsman on Oct 29, 2009 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The main reason to agree with me
is because I am right.
I agree with jscot, and not just because of his awesome power and intellect.
Your suggestion is good, too.
I’m wondering if we should have a Dear Nate letter before every game, so everyone can chime in with their suggestions.
I can tell you how to make an Excel spreadsheet that proves Portland wins 62 games this year.
by jscot on Oct 29, 2009 11:48 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Maybe AK could start a "Dear KP" letter......
…..cause it is so obvious that he knows more than KP does.
by upper left corner on Oct 29, 2009 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nate, please let Greg Oden touch the ball on offense once in a while
so he can draw fouls on Nene, K-Mart, and the Birdman.
by MiledAnimal on Oct 29, 2009 10:22 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Nate tell all the players
when you throw down a dunk. Preen, run your fingers trough your hair & blow a kiss to birdman.
"BEER IS LIVING PROOF THAT GOD LOVES US"
- Benjamin Franklin-
by We-B-Dunkin on Oct 29, 2009 11:25 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Wrong
Nate, don’t listen to him. When the guys throw down a dunk, they should hustle back on defense. The preening and such should come after blocking their shots.
And normally, when Greg blocks a shot, we want him to knock it back in play, so there’s a chance we can grab it and run out on it. But if he wants to reject one of Birdman’s shots into the 20th row, I grant permission for one of those.
I can tell you how to make an Excel spreadsheet that proves Portland wins 62 games this year.
by jscot on Oct 29, 2009 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You know I meant block a shot
don’t know why my fingers typed throw down a dunk. Must still be half asleep as insomnia hit hard last night.
"BEER IS LIVING PROOF THAT GOD LOVES US"
- Benjamin Franklin-
by We-B-Dunkin on Oct 29, 2009 11:46 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Of course I knew that
but it gave me the opportunity to type my second paragraph, so I went with it.
I can tell you how to make an Excel spreadsheet that proves Portland wins 62 games this year.
by jscot on Oct 29, 2009 11:49 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Would love to see the block on birdman you speak of
I am just pumped for tonights game.It will probably be the only game I get to go to this year unless I can find me some work.Being a carpenter in this economy really sucks, 5000 carpenters for every house built.
"BEER IS LIVING PROOF THAT GOD LOVES US"
- Benjamin Franklin-
by We-B-Dunkin on Oct 29, 2009 11:57 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Dear jscot
I just got off the phone from Nate. He mentioned your letter and asked me to write a response as he is working every minute to game-plan for the Nuggets.
The underground Quatschkopf squad has already been dispatched last night to wait for the Denver charter to ask of clearance to land which will be delayed for an hour and a half while the runway is cleared of debris from the Houston team charter’s dripping blood. Then the tires of the Team Bus to take them to their hotel will be low on air so a mile from the airport a new bus will be requested. That replacement bus will be rerouted to Wilsonville in the mistaken belief that the team is waiting at Ray’s Food Place. Around 4:00 am the replacement bus should finally arrive to take the Nuggets to their hotel. Of course the staff of the hotel have been alerted that the team is coming a day later so the rooms have already been re-assigned to other patrons. The Check-in time is not until 3:00 pm but the manager should be in around 9:00 am if they wish to ask for an exception (have to wait for the rooms to be cleaned in any case).
As for your suggestion re: Martell – Juwan has been assigned to the goon squad to knock Melo to the floor every time he tries to fight through his screen to catch up with Martell. (Juwan has also assured me that he will provide Nene with the same treatment that Nene pulled last night by pulling his shorts to cause him to travel every time he tries his spin move. Only Juwan has a small razor to slit the elastic causing Nene to hold his shorts up with one hand until he can get to the locker room. It is such a pleasure to have wily veterans on the team this year.
Nate also wanted me to assure you that the Melo/Travis matchup will include at least three dunks on Melo’s head. He does intend to show him that the best athlete on the floor belongs to Portland. He appreciates your advice and would like to know if as the future ruler of the world you can bring some power to bear on the top of George Karl’s head so it itches without relief? Nate will know you have succeeded every time George scrunches up his face after a 15 foot brick by birdbrain. He wants that to happen at least three times each half so everyone watching on national TV will see the grimace and know his discomfort.
Sincerely,
lee
"Either way we have two phenomenal units. I'm excited to play with either one." - Martell Webster
by lee3022 on Oct 29, 2009 12:10 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Dear Lee
Tell Nate his request is a little late given the time zone difference, but I’ll see what can be arranged. In the meantime, tell him it is good to know that, as always, we’re on the same general wavelength.
Sincerely,
jscot (the itch that won’t go away no matter how much you scratch)
I can tell you how to make an Excel spreadsheet that proves Portland wins 62 games this year.
by jscot on Oct 29, 2009 5:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
P.S. Nate's plan was partially successful as the Nuggets did get to the hotel at 4:00 am
Unfortunately the shift change on the desk apparently let them into their rooms and the fatigue factor was only effective for every player not named Carmelo.
I think he did wonder when George apparently wasn’t phased by the bricks. Who knew that the future ruler of the world was still sleeping!
"Either way we have two phenomenal units. I'm excited to play with either one." - Martell Webster
by lee3022 on Oct 30, 2009 10:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Need Minions?
A ruler of the world always needs plenty of minions to carry out his/her plans. Especially the kind of minion that loves basketball and and spends oodles of time typing on the internet. Since I agree with almost everything jscot says:
Can I be one?
Starting tonight, I can plant a tack on George Karl’s seat, make subtle bird-like whistling noises behind Anderson, so that he’ll think his tatoo’s are speaking to him and he’ll want to go back into rehab, then slyly behind Anthony call out, “Mallo…Mallo” so that he’ll think I’m calling out his name but subconciously think of the Marshmallows he’ll eat trick or treating this weekend, and lose his focus so that even Travis can guard him. You just say the word, and I’m on it jscot.
by 3pointer on Oct 29, 2009 12:30 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Jscot could start a "Got Minions?" ad campaign when his time doth come
But slowly things happen that they cannot help and the Blazers Fellowship of the Ring begins to break apart
by Norsktroll on Oct 29, 2009 1:51 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
These are a few of my favorite things.
See, I was born to be a minion!
by 3pointer on Oct 29, 2009 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I have no clever reply
That’s just brilliant.
I can tell you how to make an Excel spreadsheet that proves Portland wins 62 games this year.
by jscot on Oct 29, 2009 5:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Dear 3pointer,
Would that be fair?
If you succeed in these plans, you need not be a minion. If you can pull this off, you can head my secret service.
Sincerely,
jscot (looking for marshmallows)
I can tell you how to make an Excel spreadsheet that proves Portland wins 62 games this year.
by jscot on Oct 29, 2009 5:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
A Strange Pace
While the Blazers were incredibly efficient in their slow-paced offense last year, I’ve always thought that the plodding style didn’t suit their strengths. Playing slow neutralizes two of the Blazers’ chief assets, their youth and their depth. Most teams are not as young and athletic as Portland. Most teams do not have as deep a bench or as many interchangeable parts. If the Blazers wanted to, they could leave most teams breathless and panting every night. But they don’t. They play slow. They play at a pace that allows the older teams and the teams with shallow benches to keep up with them. It’s bizarre.
Imagine what D’Antoni could do with the Blazers’ personnel. I’m not saying his 7-seconds-or-less style is the way to go, but there’s got to be a happy medium.
www.blazerguy.com
by Blazer Guy on Oct 29, 2009 2:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I'm not sure that Youth always equals Speed
I’m thinking of the Suns and Warriors, for instance. The Suns are successful at a faster pace with Nash, Hill, Richardson (any more old folks) but primarily Nash, who makes pretty good, pretty quick decisions. Andre Miller, Jason Kidd are two others who are a little creaky but make good pace decisions. The Warriors, and the Knicks last year, play fast but make poor decisions, and lose. You have to know how to best use pace, and that’s not always the strength of a younger team. Wing players have to know when to leak out (meaning possession is secured). Bigs need to know how to outlet (GO seems a natural at this).
"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy
by Honka Playboy on Oct 29, 2009 3:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Sometimes it all just comes together...
Now I get it! This new ‘World Government’ flap that Lord Monckton has warned us all about is – a jscot plot! THAT’s how you’re going to become ruler of the world! It all makes sense – the conference is even in Copenhagen, which is I’m sure (as a typically geographically illiterate American) just a high-speed train ride from your house… (Ooh, pick up some chew while you’re there, will you? And a Kronenbourg!)
Hmm.. not sure which sounds worse: global catastrophe due to global warming, or a world government – even – or is that particularly? – one run by jscot.. (Actually I do: I’ll take my chances with higher sea levels…).
by Visionary2 on Oct 29, 2009 3:41 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Oh, and one more request in case you ARE elected...
I see you’ve removed your ‘when I’m ruler, everybody will know Excel’ tag line… Please remove that from your platform as well, could you? Because I don’t want to lose my competitive advantage over either my competitors in the worklplace, or the fantasy owners who I see in my rearview mirror because they can’t create their own one number PlayerValueIndex based on the scoring system of each league…
by Visionary2 on Oct 29, 2009 3:42 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Such lunacy
Who said anything about “elected”?
I can tell you how to make an Excel spreadsheet that proves Portland wins 62 games this year.
by jscot on Oct 29, 2009 5:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nate did NOT listen!
I don’t know guys; pulling Rudy late in the fourth really got to me.
Cut the check!
by Rick C in Tigard on Oct 30, 2009 6:06 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

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