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Junk Cabinet 1/30 - Tennis/Shaq Edition

No school tomorrow so I'm up late watching the Australian Open. (1) Nadal vs. (14) Verdasco. Nadal's in a battle with this guy, things been goin on for 3 hours and theres still a ways to go. Probably will go to bed soon though. I hadn't watched tennis hardly at all, probably never actually, before last night when I watched Roger Federer defeat Andy Roddick (apparently Federer has Roddicks number, dudes like 19-2 against him) and it showed last night. So I guess I like tennis now, it's really fun to watch. 

 

Daves blasephemous (real word?) speculatory (real word?) post on the acquisition of Shaq "the Diesel" "Shaqa Clause" Shaq Fu" O'Neal has me thinking. What IF we just rented the big fella for a year or two? We get a silly mentor for Gregory. SOEC > RLEC for next year. AND one of if not THE best center in NBA history. Yes he's not really in his prime BUT I think he's still got a year or two left in him, he could squeeze another ring out here in PDX before he retired, while we wait for Greg to develop INTO THE NEXT SHAQ AND DOMINATE THE LEAGUE FOR THE NEXT 16 YEARS NOT TO MENTION WINNING A CHAMPIONSHIP IN 13 OF THOSE  16 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! IOSJDFIOFOGO !!!@#$RBjf. i mean if we get Shaq b4 the deadline we would get to the finals this year and SHAQ WOULD EAT KENDRICK PERKINS ALIVE FOR BREAKFAST. wait we would have to go through the Lakers to get to Boston. THATS OK SHAQ WOULD BE PLAYING HIS HINEY OFF AGAINST HIS EX-TEAM/EX-WIFE THE L*KERS AND KOBBBBBEEEEE. and he would show Bynum how a real center plays the game of basketball. maybe even crack HIS rib and collapse HIS lung, see how that punk likes it. 

 

point is i like tennis and i can handle the idea of Shaq in a Blazer uni for a year or two if it gets us to the promised land. i apologize if this post offends anybody, it's really late/early and I don't even know what im saying, all that stuff up there ^^^ is just my sleep deprivation shining through the clouds. see that statement didnt even make sense. good night.

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verdasco be stuntin'

dave be stuntin’ too.

Say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

by aryamehr on Jan 30, 2009 4:31 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Dang Tom

Have you been working out?

"Only dunk and go to the defense." Rudy Fernandez

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 30, 2009 4:37 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

American Idol

This guy is from my home town. He reminds me of prez.

≤ˆˆ≥

by tominhawaii on Jan 30, 2009 4:51 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

That's me!

The Shaq fan who raps

CANNNN YOUUUU DIG IT

Screw Oden, Shaq 4ever! Huzzah!

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 6:19 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Why are you singing the girl's part in that song?

"Only dunk and go to the defense." Rudy Fernandez

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 30, 2009 1:16 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

This whole American Idol thing is silly. Why do people like that show so much? My girlfriend and her 2 sisters are obsessed.
I just don’t get it, not one bit. The auditions are kind of funny in a trainwreck sort of way, but once it gets all sappy, no way Jose.
However, I did enjoy listening to that Pinkler girl talk. I think she had a low AIIQ and thats why she lost.

I went down to get a drink with some friends the other night, and guess what I saw? An American Idol viewing party at the bar.
So annoying.

Since this is a basketball blog about the blazers, I think the American Idol chatter better just stay on the local American Idol blog.
To this day, it bothers me that the show makes so much money. Paula Abdul get paid for the things that come out of her mouth?
I don’t get it. The only excuse for some of the thoughts she puts out there is alcohol. You know what goes good with coke Paula?
Norwegian Rum, we all now you are mixing in grandpas cough syrup in that cup of coke the judges always have during shows.
Kick the habit Paula. Don’t even get me started on Simon, what an annoying human being. He is condescending and arrogant.
You know what I say is true TiH, you know….

RUDY > MJ

by myemic23 on Jan 30, 2009 11:03 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Kelly Pickler is so dumb its funny

Anyone who manages to make Jessica Simpson seem like Albert Einstein deserves to win American Idol. Pickler wuz robbed.

by EngineerScotty on Jan 30, 2009 11:16 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

So it was unintentionally dirty?

Listen… This is the fourth time Bynum has either hurt a player, or been involved in over the top fouls this year. It happened earlier this year with Greg, it happened just a little under a week ago with LeBron, and it’ll keep happening until the league makes it stop happening. At some point, like in the case of Bruce Bowen, it crosses the line. It may be a “hard play”, but it’s also the kind of stuff that rips players out from the league with injuries and the like. I know you’re not supposed to look at the resulting injury, but it DOES matter. Bynum didn’t wrap Wallace up, he came at him and hit him hard in the chest with his elbow. Some are just calling it a lazy play, which is was, but it wasn’t just lazy, it became dirty and lazy, when instead of that “wrap up”, that would be par for the course, he refused to even so much as put the effort in to do that. He just banged him really hard. Easy enough for him, no effort required, but Wallace was in the most vulnerable position a basketball player can be in, and IMO if you want the kind of high flying, super athletic playmaking league we have today, you’ve got to protect players in precisely those circumstances.

by as11osu on Jan 30, 2009 5:41 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Ha

You said “listen” then you typed everything out. You should have made a podcast.

by tominhawaii on Jan 30, 2009 6:04 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

interesting idea....

Although a one person podcast doesn’t sound all that intriguing.

by as11osu on Jan 30, 2009 6:25 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Sure - just another vehicle for your American Idolatry

"its tough to play with one eye, unless you're a pirate." Delonte West
"una canasta a Pau en la cara" Rudy

by Honka Playboy on Jan 30, 2009 7:47 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

There wasn't much to report yesterday

My hopes is that da kine stays on the show long enough for me to write a few media row reports.

by tominhawaii on Jan 30, 2009 7:52 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

it's easy to demonize bynum

when you base your assertions on scant evidence.

I believe bynum’s intent was to foul wallace, not hurt or try to intimidate him. having watched bynum develop for 3 yrs, that rick mahorn style of play is not in his character. so, wallace’s injuries were accidental.

against lebron, bynum clearly went for the ball. it just so happened his hand glanced off the ball and hit lebron in the chops. again, accidental.

wallace is injury-prone, so who his opponents happen to be at the instance of injury is incidental. i’m not sure if oden is injury-prone as well, but at the beginning of the season he seemed a little out of shape, he was (over-?)excited in anticipation of playing in his first game, and he was still working his way back from major surgery. and yet you address none of these factors and insinuate bynum is some sort of malevolent force.

you’re obviously unfamiliar with bynum and jumping to conclusions.

i remember earlier this season pryzbilla playing utah-style basketball against LAL, shoving players while they were in mid-air, and running his shoulder into kobe well after the whistle had blown. is that good, clean, wholesome basketball?

more to the point, would it be accurate for me to label pryzbilla a dirty player, based on scant evidence? of course not.

"I've hacked into your brain. You're throwing a party and no one's showing up."

by ignign*kt on Jan 30, 2009 7:58 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

How are you gonna "wrap up" a charging opponent with your back to him -- do you think Bynum is double jointed???

Listen……. He was out of position, he tried to stop the penetration with his arm, he’s a big guy, there was a high speed collision, Wallace got hurt. Bummer, but it’s a contact sport and stuff happens.

Foul was called correctly; upgraded to put him on notice and to get into his wallet a little.

Done.

The cilantro in your tapioca pudding since 2007.™

by timbo on Jan 30, 2009 8:39 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I don't think that Wallace is injury prone

it is more the case that his style of play leads to a lot of violent impacts on his body that are normally not seen in basketball.

by tingeyga on Jan 30, 2009 11:10 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

i agree somewhat.

i think of injury prone as a label or status.

broadly, some players inherit anatomical problems from their relatives, and others acquire them through competition; others still have a combination of these circumstances. all three groups are more susceptible to particular injuries than most. luke walton will probably always have nagging foot problems; and even if he were to change his style, wallace will always be more susceptible(i.e. prone) to head trauma because he’s already had several serious concussions.

"I've hacked into your brain. You're throwing a party and no one's showing up."

by ignign*kt on Jan 30, 2009 1:10 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Shaq tribute

Shaq the scrabble player—It’s Shaqtastic

Shaq Pack—from Burger King. Can you dig it?

Shaq the school teacher—go to the principal’s office. Now.

Shaq disses Vlade. Go where they know your name, son.

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 6:37 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

That Scrabble Commercial

Is the single greatest ESPN Basketball commercial. Bar none.

by usdblazerfan on Jan 30, 2009 6:21 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Agreed.

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 7:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I have a new theory when Wallace pre-injured his rib and lung so that it just gave up now

It wasn’t me, the puny 280 pound lazy baby center rotating to slow and throwing an elbow

It was me, the 330 pound pick monster: Tell me how my abs taste

Why did nobody bring Shaq’s Kazaam screen on Wallace up yet? Because you don’t see the big picture :)

by Norsktroll on Jan 30, 2009 6:51 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

that's why i love Gerald Wallace

He’s always running around getting knocked over, jumping up, continuing on.

I was honored when someone called me “Crash” after a scrappy bball game last night. G-Wallace is the man.

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 7:08 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Maybe.

I have a hard time believing he could break a rib on the Bynum foul. Yeah it’s hard, yeah Bynum’s big, but a “pre-cracked” rib could explain things better. Of course you don’t go out and pre-crack a rib and just walk it off. I dunno. Maybe he hasn’t been drinking his milk.

Ok, who’s dug up video of the Shaq-fu-pick so we can see if he gets struck in the same spot?

The cowards never started
The weak died along the way
Only the strong survived
They were the Trailblazers

by lukeyhere on Jan 30, 2009 7:33 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Shaq pick on Wallace: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKoPYYHaAoE

Nah, albeit Shaq leveled him hard I don’t really think he “pre-injured” himself in that action, I just remembered that photo from the previous game. Wallace cracked the fifth rib (I assume also on the left side, since he is holding that in pain). That is pretty high up and fits the area where Bynum’s elbow hit him sticking far out when they make contact. He hits Shaq with the right side, then falls on his back/left side. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ribs

by Norsktroll on Jan 30, 2009 7:53 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Ha...

The best part of that 2nd picture is the sideshow bob look on thunder Dan…

RUDY > MJ

by myemic23 on Jan 30, 2009 12:01 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

did you know... (purity of junk)

 … that today is the birthday of the 2-Way Moving Sidewalk? In 1958, the first two-way moving sidewalk was activated at Love Field in Dallas, Texas. The length of the airport
walkway: 1,435 feet.

"When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, bloodsucking monsters, always wanting more, more, more! And if you give it to 'em, you'll get plenty back in return." -- Homer

by bow4meow on Jan 30, 2009 7:35 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

I am sure you heard of that weird splinter group

that believes that the moving sidewalks are really just machines that is little more than just conveyor belts on steroids!! Freaks!

Larry (the new Johnnie Cochran) Miller: "If we get screwed, we're gonna sue"

by 92wastheyear on Jan 30, 2009 11:05 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

This is the greatest post of all time on Blazers Edge.

Please make it green, and flock to it.

"There is one way that cutting off trade with a partner could help you," Wolfers explains. "And that's if you're an idiot. If you used to trade a lot with one partner, and they always got the better of you because you don't know what you're doing, then you're right, you would be better off not trading with them any more."

by Outlaw is Rejector on Jan 30, 2009 1:32 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I was just trying to make pure H2o

out of the flouridated junk being tapped lately… P.O.E ya know

"When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, bloodsucking monsters, always wanting more, more, more! And if you give it to 'em, you'll get plenty back in return." -- Homer

by bow4meow on Jan 30, 2009 5:19 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

No idea what you just said, but it made me thirsty

for some high quality H2O.

[takes a swig of water]

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 5:19 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Flouridated water is a communist plot... spit it out!!

"When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, bloodsucking monsters, always wanting more, more, more! And if you give it to 'em, you'll get plenty back in return." -- Homer

by bow4meow on Jan 30, 2009 5:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I always thought it was fluorination for some reason

but I guess fluoridation is right. I learn something new every day on the Bedge.

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 5:27 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

We've been keeping the distilled water companies in business for years.

We use it for all cooking and drinking water.

"Aneurysm".

When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie

by annthefan on Jan 30, 2009 5:33 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

This one is also strangely fascinating

"There is one way that cutting off trade with a partner could help you," Wolfers explains. "And that's if you're an idiot. If you used to trade a lot with one partner, and they always got the better of you because you don't know what you're doing, then you're right, you would be better off not trading with them any more."

by Outlaw is Rejector on Jan 30, 2009 11:18 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Careful with the crazy talk.

This is the greatest post of all time on Blazers Edge.

You’d be able to hear Master Dave say, “Stop encouraging him!”

    ….[….]…..
     O…….O
           Y
       XXXXX———-analyze the b-ball hoopy hoop
                       

If his teeth weren’t clenched so tightly. : )

.

.

.

The cowards never started
The weak died along the way
Only the strong survived
They were the Trailblazers

by lukeyhere on Jan 30, 2009 7:23 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Hello Lukey, I am your stalker

"There is one way that cutting off trade with a partner could help you," Wolfers explains. "And that's if you're an idiot. If you used to trade a lot with one partner, and they always got the better of you because you don't know what you're doing, then you're right, you would be better off not trading with them any more."

by Outlaw is Rejector on Jan 30, 2009 11:20 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I've always been more of a Charismatic Sidewalkan myself.

We celebrate the gifts of the Walkan Spirit and also observe Steponanchill Day, a day of remembrance for escalators everywhere.

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 1:45 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

LOL....

eh….well, if it’s the means to destroying the beast known as kobe…..

big brother must do what big brother must ……right?

The Faith don't panic, the faith freaks out burns out farms and torchs small villages in the name of The Faith.

by faith on Jan 30, 2009 7:53 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Blaz' sounds like blahs

you know when you’re feeling kind of sick—not spending-the-whole-morning-in-the-bathroom-vomiting sick, but man-I-really-don’t-want-to-go-to-work sick.

by EngineerScotty on Jan 30, 2009 10:34 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

It's just as lame as 'Zers

It’s epic and not a fail even.

by tominhawaii on Jan 30, 2009 11:37 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Did you get my secret message TiH???

I figured somebody had to tell you, might as well be me….

RUDY > MJ

by myemic23 on Jan 30, 2009 12:00 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Don't cut me tom... At least trade me to a contender!

I am sorry for what I’ve done…

RUDY > MJ

by myemic23 on Jan 31, 2009 7:52 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Oooh that's cold.

I’m gonna’ have to start using that line.

I’m gonna’ Marbury you six feet into the ground, sucka’!

Has a nice ring to it.

Want more aggressiveness? Try less Baylesslessness.

by prezofdeath on Jan 31, 2009 5:21 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Trailers

New nickname

Trailers

"Only dunk and go to the defense." Rudy Fernandez

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 30, 2009 1:22 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

How dare you talk about the Tra's like that.

"There is one way that cutting off trade with a partner could help you," Wolfers explains. "And that's if you're an idiot. If you used to trade a lot with one partner, and they always got the better of you because you don't know what you're doing, then you're right, you would be better off not trading with them any more."

by Outlaw is Rejector on Jan 30, 2009 1:34 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I'm just gonna' call them the Portland Trail Busters

since like, all our draft picks have turned out to be complete and utter busts in the past few years.

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 1:47 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Better than the Oklahoma City

Sod Busters. – Elgin

You don't have to wear a clock around your neck to know what time it is at Bob's. Meals cooked with real religious fervor! Thousands of empty seats in the back, for the lonely set. At Bob's you don't have to leave your loved one out in the street - your car is as welcome as you are! - Firesign Theatre.

by 22baylor on Jan 30, 2009 2:47 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I like trailers

That way we would all be trailer trash

by southern oregon on Jan 30, 2009 3:10 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Remember Robert "Tractor" Traylor?

lol

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 4:40 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Man he was fat

"There is one way that cutting off trade with a partner could help you," Wolfers explains. "And that's if you're an idiot. If you used to trade a lot with one partner, and they always got the better of you because you don't know what you're doing, then you're right, you would be better off not trading with them any more."

by Outlaw is Rejector on Jan 30, 2009 11:21 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

It even spilled into the Simmons chat today
Julian (phoenix): When can we fire Terry Porter? He has to be in the bottom 5 in the NBA.

 Bill Simmons: He’s not worse than Vinny Del Negro of Mike Dunleavy. But he’s probably on the next tier. All indications seem to be that he was just a bad hire – the way Boris Diaw has been playing for Charlotte and the body language of the Suns players in some of these losses (amare especially) makes me think that the Porter Experiment is failing badly. And Hack-A-Bowen last night was REALLY bad. It changed the game.

by tingeyga on Jan 30, 2009 1:11 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Blame Steve Kerr

You don’t bring Shaq into a run and gun offense. And you don’t fire Mike D’Antoni.

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 1:48 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I still suspect

that Porter was brought in to fail.

If the Suns fire him, they should be required to hire Terry Stotts as his replacement.

by EngineerScotty on Jan 30, 2009 1:51 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

They should hire Mike's brother/cousin/whoever that just got canned by the Griz.

If you agree with me: Good, I like being agreeable.
If you [think you] don't agree with me: You really do agree with me. You just haven't realized that I use sarcasm alot, so whatever you didn't agree with, take the opposite of it, and that's what I really mean.

by prezofdeath on Jan 30, 2009 2:18 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Gerald Wallace has been released from the hospital

Apparently they could fix the most pressing problems with his rib and partially collapsed lung.

by Norsktroll on Jan 30, 2009 5:09 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Logistical questions for the locals

I am going to maybe catch the Clips game on my way out,weather related travel windows are part of life this time of year.If you were arriving back PDX 11:15 pm Tuesday the 10th and thinking about tix for the Mavs game or is that dreaming? Also if a weary traveler wanted to just get a room,sleep in and dawdle his way thru town to Hillsbro the next day how would you play it?

by southern oregon on Jan 30, 2009 5:18 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

With abandon.

"Aneurysm".

When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie

by annthefan on Jan 30, 2009 5:35 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

not reckless abandon?

"When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, bloodsucking monsters, always wanting more, more, more! And if you give it to 'em, you'll get plenty back in return." -- Homer

by bow4meow on Jan 30, 2009 5:38 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Sorry.

"Aneurysm".

When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie

by annthefan on Jan 30, 2009 9:30 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

oooohh...

Maxiell versus Perkins in a fight to the death.

Why on earth would Perkins throw Maxiell to the floor (and get himself thrown out of the game) when the Celtics are up by 5 with 6 minutes to go?

Geez, talk about crippling your team’s chances for no reason whatsoever! perkins must be kind of dumb. Plus Maxiell would have ripped him to shreds if Rondo hadn’t stopped him.

Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

by MT Suit on Jan 30, 2009 6:25 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Golden State just beat the Hornets in NO

Thanks Warriors.

"Only dunk and go to the defense." Rudy Fernandez

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 30, 2009 9:08 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Thank you mario lopez

"There is one way that cutting off trade with a partner could help you," Wolfers explains. "And that's if you're an idiot. If you used to trade a lot with one partner, and they always got the better of you because you don't know what you're doing, then you're right, you would be better off not trading with them any more."

by Outlaw is Rejector on Jan 30, 2009 11:22 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

The harsh reality in the West

We are 5th,3 games out of 2nd,Utah is 9th,3 games out of 5th

by southern oregon on Jan 30, 2009 9:42 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

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