Today's Poll -- Inside The Mind of Cheikh Samb
by Ben. on Jan 27, 2009 10:54 AM PST
105 comments
You guys know I'm a writer dork. So instead of voting on a poll today I want you to come up with the best description for what it was like to wake up inside the mind of Cheikh Samb this morning, after getting whatever is worse than posterized last night by Brandon Roy.
Trail Post has a great, funny description...
Brandon Roy's dunk tonight shook Cheikh Samb to the very core of his existence. His sanity flew away with his head band as Brandon Roy destroyed his soul with a leather ball. The head band has not, as of yet, been found.
Cheikh Samb might go Madonna-crazy and turn to kabbalah after the jam Roy laid upon his soul. If Darryl Dawkins were to name that dunk, it would be the "Losing your Religion on Planet Lovetron Jamaroo."
I'm going to give you, let's say, 75 words. Describe as vividly as possible what it's like to be Mr. Samb, knowing that your humiliation is now the #1 sports story on the internet.
As always, rec your favorite entries. The winner will be shown on the main page.
-- Ben (benjamin.golliver@gmail.com)
1 recs |
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Youtube clips are theft
That is all. Oh, and Roy dunk good.
by Lance Uppercut on Jan 27, 2009 11:06 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Last time I saw a Clipper bigman get punked on tv like that
was the beat down Keith Closs got.
ポートランド・トレイルブレイザーズ & 南カルフォルニア大学 トロージャンズ Fan
by Sexual Tyrannosaurus on Jan 27, 2009 11:15 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
I want you to come up with the best description for what it was like to wake up inside the mind of Cheikh Samb this morning…
Upon waking, Cheikh, cold and sweating, sits straight up, wide awake, completely freaked out…
Cheikh: Mom! Mom!
Hearing her son’s cry, she dashes to his room…
Cheikh’s mom: What, honey?
Cheikh: I just had the worst dream ever. I dreamed I was in the NBA, and like, Brandon Roy, this really really really really good player for the Portland Trailblazers, like, totally dunked on my face and it was all over the Internet the next day and on Sportscenter.
Cheikh’s mom: Oh, everyone has those type of nightmares. Just get up and have some breakfast and you’ll feel better in a jiffy.
With that, Cheikh pours a bowl of Lucky Charms and douses every last marshmellow with a healthy amount of cold milk. He plops down on the couch to zone out and forget the nightmare…
[Click! The TV turns on….]
“And now, for our top play of the day, check out Cheikh Samb getting completely posterized by Brandon Roy….ooohhhhh that was nasty! Roy completely defaced Samb with that demoralizing dunk. Talk about a sick slam.”
Cheikh: Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmm!
"What's that, some kind of hamburger?"
--Bo Outlaw on being asked how he felt about recording his first triple double.
by prezofdeath on Jan 27, 2009 11:15 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Samb: I need a beer. Where's Freddie Weis?
by EngineerScotty on Jan 27, 2009 11:15 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
I feel bad punking on Samb.
Dude got traded for a second rounder this year…this was the highlight of his NBA career, and he’ll be out of the league soon enough.
by OneTrickPony on Jan 27, 2009 11:17 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
What's funny is that this wasn't NBA.com's dunk of the night
by thomasikehara on Jan 27, 2009 11:19 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
That Wilson Chandler Dunk was weak compared to Roy's...
"Every time Troutlaw touches the ball, I pop an anti-anxiety pill."
by DaNoose on Jan 27, 2009 11:29 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
plus it was borderline an offensive foul
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
by you'vegottomakeyourfreethrows on Jan 27, 2009 12:22 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Cheikh Samb
Before the dunk Cheikh Samb was conversant in 7 languages. Ever since being soul dunked by Brandon Roy, Samb communicates only with hand gestures and mono-syllabic grunts. Timidly glancing upwards and only saying something that sounds like “Scary Thunder”. In an effort to expedite Sambs recovery Brandon Roy has forwarded a Roy-Pod and several Rosseta Stone software bundles.
"Mother Nature started this fight, I think it's about time we ended it!"
by Krang on Jan 27, 2009 11:21 AM PST reply actions 15 recs
attempt 1 - eloquent
I awoke restlessly this morning, my dreams haunted by the specters and phantoms of biting, cold humiliation. O wretched fate, that in an instant you should place me upon a poster, replacing the glories and victories of my career with the bitter vituperations and scorn of a thousand critics on keyboards and printed papers and youtube comments!
A beard on a blind man! Too much, I say.
by isaacjoe on Jan 27, 2009 11:28 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Very nice
Translate to Fattyese? – Elgin
I get what I deserve. I deserve what I get. I have it so I deserve it. I deserve
it for I have it. I get what I deserve. What I deserve - what I deserve what
I get. I have it so I deserve. - Gentle Giant
by 22baylor on Jan 27, 2009 12:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I rec the Trail Post one Ben already posted, in the long version
During the post-game session with the media in the Clipper locker room, Samb was sighted alone in the corner muttering to himself.
"Rien, rien, rien, rien," he kept saying as he periodically glanced up from his copy of Le Mythe de Sisyphe. Brandon Roy’s dunk tonight shook Cheikh Samb to the very core of his existence. His sanity flew away with his head band as Brandon Roy destroyed his soul with a leather ball. The head band has not, as of yet, been found.
by Norsktroll on Jan 27, 2009 11:30 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Suffer the children
Forget Samb; he is a mere footnote.
I was at this game, and sitting behind me was an adorable child, come to see an NBA game with his father. “Stop number seven!” he would chirp enthusiastically. (“No one can stop him,” his father, an old fan, would respond darkly.)
Then Gorden dunked! Child cheers, hope blossoms.
Roy responds. Crowd quiets. I look at child; joy disappears, replaced with dull acceptance. A Clippers fan is born. The angels silently weep.
by samuelleejackson on Jan 27, 2009 11:31 AM PST reply actions 23 recs
at least that kid...
will never be considered a bandwagon fan.
Then again, can any Clipper fan be a bandwagon fan?
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
by you'vegottomakeyourfreethrows on Jan 27, 2009 12:25 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
too true. what a life ... clippersfandom
Rudyculize: The act of Rudy making others look slow, dim and generally oafish.
http://www.myspace.com/y5k
by Y5k on Jan 27, 2009 4:17 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
only failing to try is truly failing
Toen ik aan Freddie doorkeek, dacht ik hij speelde Brandon een weinig te strak, en beschutte hem met een poging om juist te dwingen. Dat scheen dwaas, als Brandon best naar zijn linkerzijde rijdt, zo indien u hem juist, uitvoering zeker u gaat beschutten van te dwingen de verbindingsdraad steunt. Precies zoals vlug toen ik zijn ongepaste plaatsing opmerkte, was Brandon door hem. Ik wist dat ik te laat op mijn omwenteling oprecht was om het geschoten te bewerkstelligen, maar ik had een overtreding om te geven. Ik kon niet hem wikkelen op omdat hij eerder verwijderde dan ik verwachtte. Volgend regel ik zal streven naar de arm om de poging op de eerste plaats te voorkomen.
Later in de kluiskamer ik soort van kreeg het gevoel dat Freddie mij uit had gehangen om te drogen aangezien hij nog steeds wenst dat hij voor Portland speelde.
by mittsabishy on Jan 27, 2009 11:36 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Crazy Skandinavians
"It's not who jumps the highest -- it's who wants it the most" Buck Williams
"and if EVERYONE confronted with a tough, disgusting situation pulled out, I don't think I would have been born." Mortimer
by Fund A Mental on Jan 27, 2009 11:41 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
According to babelfish:
When I looked through to Freddie, I thought he played Brandon little too tight, and protected him with a attempt correctly force. That seemed foolishly, as Brandon best to its left drives, thus if you him correct, implementation will protect certainly you to force the connection wire supports. Exactly like rapidly then I its inappropriate seating noticed, was Brandon by him. I knew that I too late on my rotation sincere bring about it had been shot, but I had to give a summary offence. I could not him wind on because he earlier removed than I expected. Next rule I will strive prevent place for the arm for the attempt on the first. Later in the locker chamber I type of got the feeling that Freddie me from had hung to since dry he wishes still that he played for postage country.
by EngineerScotty on Jan 27, 2009 11:43 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Damn, that's exactly I was what going to writing
Sticking up for Travis Outlaw since 2008.
by Kaboomm on Jan 28, 2009 7:33 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
*Basement, Brad Pitt and Edward Norton and a bunch of Clippers surrounding a table*
“His name is Cheikh Samb. In death, we have names. His name is Cheik Samb. In death, we have names.”
When I die, I'd like to go out like my grandfather, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car. - jack handy
by TheTinfoil on Jan 27, 2009 11:43 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
His name was Cheikh Samb. His name was Cheikh Samb. His name was Cheikh Samb.
+1 for any FC reference
Blazer fans tell me, where were you,
When our Brandon Roy dropped 52?
by GreatOden'sRaven on Jan 27, 2009 11:50 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Something like:
The first rule of Cheikh Samb: You do not talk about Cheikh Samb getting posterized.
The second rule of Cheikh Samb: You do NOT TALK about Cheikh Samb getting posterized.
I know less than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
by haildablazer on Jan 27, 2009 12:57 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Denial
“I bet no one noticed. He’s an all star and all. I bet he dunks on people all the time. I think the debate will be about whether the charge should have been called.”
by fatwansaboni on Jan 27, 2009 11:52 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
who said that?
Do they understand the circle under the hoop at all? And the fact that Samb jumped to block the shot?
Are charges supposed to be for pity??
From the back of Travis Outlaw's Franz card: Travis leads the team in monstrous thunder dunks, wins awards for post game interviews, and often gets extra points for degree of difficulty.
by TheOdenator on Jan 27, 2009 12:03 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
i think he was saying that is what Samb is thinking..
he’s in denial
I'm afraid Chiekh Samb's kids are going to be born ducking
by GreatOden'sRaven on Jan 27, 2009 12:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
dam
good call.
From the back of Travis Outlaw's Franz card: Travis leads the team in monstrous thunder dunks, wins awards for post game interviews, and often gets extra points for degree of difficulty.
by TheOdenator on Jan 27, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Wow. The Dallas Academy girls basketball team thinks Samb got owned here.
It’s a good thing Obama is president now. Otherwise this could severely hurt USA-Africa relations. It may be years before Roy is ever allowed in Senegal again.
Yes! Yes! In the face!
by LeafHawk on Jan 27, 2009 11:54 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Just to nitpick
Africa and Bush had good relations. They were the one continent that approved of the man.
by Zaig on Jan 27, 2009 12:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
hehe
I'm afraid Chiekh Samb's kids are going to be born ducking
by GreatOden'sRaven on Jan 27, 2009 12:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Headband! Headband!
Cheikh now has a severe case of PTSD, triggering severe anxiety and panic attacks whenever someone inadvertently says the word, “Headband!”
by 3pointer on Jan 27, 2009 11:54 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Last night a curious thing happened
All of Africa stopped what they were doing for a moment.. chills ran down their spine, a feeling of embarrasement and naseau gripped them, and then sadness flowed from their bodies. And like that it was over. Everoyne went back to what they were doing without really knowing what had happened.
Yes it was true.
Roy dunked on Samb so hard his ancestors felt it.
Blazer fans tell me, where were you,
When our Brandon Roy dropped 52?
by GreatOden'sRaven on Jan 27, 2009 12:02 PM PST reply actions 6 recs
OMG
yeah, I rec that… that junk is hilarious… his ancestors felt it.
by JelaniGNatural on Jan 27, 2009 12:12 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I don't know what Samb said...
But he has an appointment with a plastic surgeon today to have the imprint of the word “GNIDLUAPS” removed from his forehead.
If you let them make you, they'll make you into paper mache.
At a distance you're strong until the wind comes, then you'll crumble and blow away.
- Incubus
by ZooooomByU on Jan 27, 2009 12:14 PM PST reply actions 5 recs
+1
Perfect practice makes perfect.
by Ojala John on Jan 27, 2009 5:28 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Samb , " I have lost my sac, can you help me find it?
I'm a little confused by your tactics
by oderiferous emanations 74 on Jan 27, 2009 12:16 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Hmm
All I know is Samb is hoping that Roy will trade him back to the Clippers for a couple of cartons of cigarettes.
(prison reference)
by DonkeyShins on Jan 27, 2009 12:21 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
What is 'worse than posterized'?
Having official “Cheikh Samb” becomes Brandon Roy’s cheap plaything Topps™ trading cards?
by DonkeyShins on Jan 27, 2009 12:23 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Haiku
Cherry blossoms fall
Brandon Roy freaking destroys Cheikh Samb
Fall down go boom
quid Latine dictum sit, altum viditur
by dvcastle on Jan 27, 2009 12:31 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Sambs haiku
Ready to play now
Check in, rotate on defense
Look up, oh no, ouch
I'm afraid Chiekh Samb's kids are going to be born ducking
by GreatOden'sRaven on Jan 27, 2009 12:36 PM PST up reply actions 4 recs
I'm recing this both for the best of the three haikus and...
probably the best screen name on BEdge.
I know less than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
by haildablazer on Jan 27, 2009 12:53 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
thanks much
I'm afraid Chiekh Samb's kids are going to be born ducking
by GreatOden'sRaven on Jan 27, 2009 12:59 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Another Haiku
Brandon dunked on me
Lost my headband and my pride
Wish I played soccer
Yes! Yes! In the face!
by LeafHawk on Jan 27, 2009 12:39 PM PST up reply actions 4 recs
Samb's thought, as he dusted himself off and got on his feet
“Still better than living in Senegal”.
He then bounced back up the court, happy as can be, knowing he has clean water to drink and more money than his homeland’s GDP, all for playing a game he picked up 4 years ago.
“I am the luckiest man in the world!”
M—
by Mortimer on Jan 27, 2009 12:43 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
Since we're going there...
Brandon Roy needs to watch his back. Legally, you’re not allowed to own people from Africa anymore.
by Zaig on Jan 27, 2009 12:47 PM PST up reply actions 12 recs
haha
wow.. that made me laugh
a tip of the cap to you sir
I'm afraid Chiekh Samb's kids are going to be born ducking
by GreatOden'sRaven on Jan 27, 2009 12:59 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
What are the taxes for owning someone that thoroughly?
Flight Attendant to Mr. Roy: Would you like to check Samb?
by LaoTzu on Jan 27, 2009 3:00 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
HAHA!
"I've learned one thing, and that's to quit worrying about stupid things. You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'till sunrise. The work never ends, but college does" - Tom Petty
by Work?nah... on Jan 27, 2009 3:20 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Clean Gatorade, at least
The Gatorade in Senegal is infested with sub-par electrolytes, and the impact on your athletic performance is marginal at best.
It’s another reason the USA is #1!!! U.S.A.! U.S.A! UA!
Mo’
by Mortimer on Jan 27, 2009 2:10 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Samb reborn
Samb rolled out of the club, arms around two ladies, with four more waiting for him in the limo.
His NBA career had long since passed, but things were better than ever now.
How does a man who washed out of the NBA after a couple of seasons achieve this level of fame?
Simple
He tells everyone than Brandon Roy is his daddy, and it ain’t far from the truth.
by Zaig on Jan 27, 2009 12:45 PM PST reply actions 5 recs
lolll
"What's that, some kind of hamburger?"
--Bo Outlaw on being asked how he felt about recording his first triple double.
by prezofdeath on Jan 27, 2009 1:13 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Samb unspoiled
perhaps the crux of this entire debacle is the fact that Samb was momentarily and since unconscious for these transpiring. Audacious blasts of rim rattling command heretofore is only a figment of his imagination. poor fella. d-league bound in one fell swoop.
Yeah... well that's just like, your opinion, man...
by blainessy on Jan 27, 2009 12:49 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Somewhere, Limas Sweed cackles.
"It is impossible for a man of any intellect to write an honest line." -SB
by nightbluefruit on Jan 27, 2009 12:52 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Cheikh Samb at practice today....
Hoping his teammates would not remember the defiling that took place 14 hours earlier, Mr. Samb strolled in to practice.
CS : “Hey guys, whats up?”
Eric Gordon: wiping away tears “Cheikh, there is no practice today. We are all actually here for an intervention. You cant pretend last night didnt happen. We all saw him make you squeel like a pig. ITS NOT FAIR! BUT IT HAPPENED…ACCEPT IT!”
like a devote follower being hit with the holy ghost, Cheikh’s eyes roll into the back of his head, foams at the mouth, and suddenly begins speaking in tongue
CS: awa gabbbsa oopa ooooorah
Coach Dunleavy: “GET HIM A DOCTOR….NOOOOOOOOOO”
by Derftron on Jan 27, 2009 12:55 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Dunked by God
It was in that moment, that one second in the framework of time that Cheikh Samb achieved enlightenment. Complete clarity.
You see, being touched by God is a gift that very few mortals have the opporunity to experience. Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, & now Cheikh Samb.
by Derftron on Jan 27, 2009 1:10 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
This just in from the league office
Brandon Roy has received permission from the league for the remainder of the season to wear a special patch on his jersey opposite the “00” patch to honor the career of Cheikh Samb which suddenly came to a halt last night. The patch will read “R.I.P. C.SAMB’s Dignity 1/26/2009”
Roy was unable to be reached for comment, however word out of Nike headquarters is that to coincide with the debut of the memorial patch to be worn by Roy, Nike will be releasing a limited edition shoe for him to wear, depicting Cheikh Samb sucking his thumb on the floor in the fetal position
by Uggert on Jan 27, 2009 1:28 PM PST reply actions 2 recs
nice..
I'm afraid Chiekh Samb's kids are going to be born ducking
by GreatOden'sRaven on Jan 27, 2009 1:29 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
...
Mr. Samb woke up this morning and looked into the mirror to find Brandon Roy’s signature on his forehead. Now only 3 years into the league he realized he was no longer Mr. Samb of the NBA, he was now only a cashed Cheikh.
From the back of Travis Outlaw's Franz card: Travis leads the team in monstrous thunder dunks, wins awards for post game interviews, and often gets extra points for degree of difficulty.
by TheOdenator on Jan 27, 2009 1:30 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
PUN! ZING!!
When I die, I'd like to go out like my grandfather, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car. - jack handy
by TheTinfoil on Jan 27, 2009 1:37 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Thats D-BO's Bike son!!!!!!
My guess is upon waking up he had that sick feeling you may get after a night of drinking too much. Your not sure exactly what happened but you know nothing good happened either. You wonder if you need to call someone and get the news, but you know its not going to be good. The last thing you remember is trying to fill up the lane on someone. Who was it?
by JmarcL4 on Jan 27, 2009 1:39 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Here's my take
Authorities in Senegal hace charged former prime minister Macky Sall with fraud for his part in a money laundering scheme.
After the dunk, Senegal has charged Cheikh Samb with fraud for impersonating an NBA basketball player.
The inbound to McGinnis, drives, stops, pumps, shoots, short, no good...AND THE GAME IS OVER! ~ Bill Schonely
by SandbergOnSports on Jan 27, 2009 1:52 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
That was Samb's thoughts?
He thinks weird!
Must be a cultural thing.
Morty, the lil’ stinker!
by Mortimer on Jan 27, 2009 2:06 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Noir
“Some crimes weren’t meant to be solved,” muttered McCleary, concentrating, as he lit the cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. He looked up again at the carnage left on the court from the night before.
“Are you sure, Detective?” His rookie partner asked in disbelief; not quite sure what to make of the mangled form of Samb’s dignity.
“I’m sure. There’s nothing we can do now anyways.”
“Aren’t people going to want to know what happened here.”
“People will tell stories for years about what happened last night,” McCleary stated after another long drag from his cigarette. Exhaling, “but there is nothing we can do about it. In this cesspool of decay and greed that we call home, there are two types of people. And Roy is Untouchable, you’ll never get to him now.”
“But it’s just not fair, Detective.”
“I know, kid, but nothing ever is when you’re a Clippers fan. Nothing!” McCleary coughs, and then takes another long drag as he looks one last time at the listless form of Samb’s dignity, and then turns and walks down the dark corridor.
"It's not who jumps the highest -- it's who wants it the most" Buck Williams
"and if EVERYONE confronted with a tough, disgusting situation pulled out, I don't think I would have been born." Mortimer
by Fund A Mental on Jan 27, 2009 2:00 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
Hey, whoa, just noticed the sig!
Thank you!
I’m not sure if I had ever heard that line before, it came to me right then, but felt like something someone HAD to have said.
But I hope I was the first. I am honored.
Mortimer
by Mortimer on Jan 27, 2009 2:07 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
+1
For Fund A Mental’s sig – Elgin
I get what I deserve. I deserve what I get. I have it so I deserve it. I deserve
it for I have it. I get what I deserve. What I deserve - what I deserve what
I get. I have it so I deserve. - Gentle Giant
by 22baylor on Jan 27, 2009 4:16 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
very nice
Nick Danger, third eye – Elgin
I get what I deserve. I deserve what I get. I have it so I deserve it. I deserve
it for I have it. I get what I deserve. What I deserve - what I deserve what
I get. I have it so I deserve. - Gentle Giant
by 22baylor on Jan 27, 2009 4:17 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
That dunk
shook Samb to his core so violently that the first word uttered by his yet to be born children will undeniably be “Roy.”
by futurehorse on Jan 27, 2009 2:07 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
The Red Jersey
so much depends
upon
a brandon
roy
glazed with
greatness
samb knows much
shame.
by RunBLG on Jan 27, 2009 2:10 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
See: Superman I, 1978.
During a post game tape review, Mike Dunleavy sat with Chiekh as they watched Roy’s dunk over and over. Dunleavy stopped the tape, paused for a moment and looked Chiekh in the eyes.
“You know what happens next?” Dunleavy asked with a menacing tone.
Chiekh knew what would happen next, but before he could plead his case Dunleavy sealed Chiekh’s fate, putting him inside a two dimensional cube that would aimlessly drift the galaxies for an eternity.
Life is hilarious.
by SolGoode on Jan 27, 2009 2:31 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Cheikh went home last night...
oh sure, he showered after the game…relived that moment in his mind over and over again…wondered what he could have done to have changed the outcome. He made a conscious decision to avoid ESPN while channel surfing to take his mind off the matter…instead he chose to watch the last episode of Heroes he had recorded to see if he could figure out someway to stop time like Hiro Nakamura. Finally, mercifully he fell into peaceful slumber only to toss and turn restlessly to the shouting words "Do it! Do it! Do it ‘til you’re satisfied!" There was Roy again, from the circle barreling towards him. "Stop…make it Stop he screamed". Cheikh awoke to try and make sense of it all and thought to himself, "I know what to do to make me feel better, I’ll check out my score on the BE Jersey Contest…that always makes me feel better!"…but alas, all was not right with the world…the scores were not there. Cheikh muttered…"ah, Ben and Dave are watching the youtube video replay of that gosh darn dunk by Roy." Depressed and dejected, he turned on the tube to watch infomercials the rest of the night.
by jstbeachy on Jan 27, 2009 2:34 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
BRoy announces his POV
“Come my head again for a rebound and see if I even leave enough of you to feel that shame — or for others to pity. I WILL go Bayless-on-wrestler-drugs all up in you. And that goes for the rest of you league punks been cheapshotting me. Games over.”
by LaoTzu on Jan 27, 2009 2:44 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I'm sure Cheikh is a pretty decent fellow, and his thoughts this morning went something like this....
Mon Dieu! Qu’est-ce que c’est avec nous francophiles? Pourquoi avons-nous d’insister, nous pouvons jouer ce jeu? Est-ce notre but de jouer le film immersion pour les Américains, à la Frederic Weiss? Je dois réfléchir à cela pendant un certain temps. C’est Brandon Roy …… il est un dieu de basket-ball.
This translates as:
My god! What is it with us francophiles? Why do we insist we can play this game? Is it our purpose to play the dunking foil for Americans, a la Frederic Weiss? I must ponder this for a while. That Brandon Roy……he is a basketball god.
by antediluvian on Jan 27, 2009 2:45 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
The word you're looking for is "francophone"
Then again, maybe Samb wants to have sex with a French person.
by robrun2 on Jan 27, 2009 2:53 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Or.....
Francophile: a person who has a strong interest in, or admiration for French culture. This could include France itself and its history, the French language, French cuisine, literature, etc. The opposite of a Francophile is a Francophobe — someone who dislikes all that is French.
But you are most certainly correct in that francophone is a better choice.
by antediluvian on Jan 27, 2009 4:11 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
SAMB:
“Damn, I just got laid out on my back faster than Jenna Jameson!!!!”
by EazyRider on Jan 27, 2009 2:47 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
During the timeout
Samb walks into the huddle after getting dunked on.
Mike Dunleavy: “Cheikh….(sigh)..Hit the showers.”
"Only dunk and go to the defense." Rudy Fernandez
by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 27, 2009 3:34 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Samb just got opened the door at his crib...
to find the FedEx guy there with a delivery.
In the box? A pair of Nike’s that look like BRoy’s… only instead of saying BRoy, they say BRoy’ed.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
by you'vegottomakeyourfreethrows on Jan 27, 2009 3:41 PM PST reply actions 2 recs
There are evil creatures in the forest.
My name is Cheikh Samb, my words are true, my story is real.
There is a very old looking beast in the inner trees, be warned, he is not old, but a young gladiator of yore. There’s the evil Fish beast that lives out of the water, Some call it Trout. There is a flying dinosaur, Tyrannosaurus Rex, a very evil beast.
There’s a side show in the forest, it’s called "Rudy Fernandez: The-Amazing-Spaniards-Sensational-Highflying-Magical-Basketball-Show". But trust me, do not be lured into the trees to see that show.
I chose my battle well, I will defend my turf against the Boy Wonder. Looks are deceiving, this is the most wicked creature one can imagine.
I was humiliated, humbled, and homogenized.
I was pummeled, pulverized, and posterized.
Today, I don’t go into the forest. I like finger painting, and needle point, and such.
I suggest you pick out some of your favorite crayons there and join me.
GO
THE TEACHER ......come into my classroom "THE PAINT" for some tutelage.
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"The rancor reflected in that remark I won't dignify with comment. But I'll address your general attitude of hopeless negativism." – Everett "O Brother, where art Thou?"
by Blazer1342 on Jan 27, 2009 3:43 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
The dunk heard around the world...
And then the world went deaf.
"Now, you take a bobcat or a Jayhawk. You know they'll run if you give 'em the chance. But when one don't run, why, you shoot him and shoot him quick. Raef's my dog, Pa. I've gotta do what's right..." Old Yeller (1957)
by RoyGoesTheDynamite on Jan 27, 2009 4:04 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Shazam!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KfFx_UZ5ZU
Billy Batson = Brandon Roy.
It was working perfectly until Captain Marvel showed up. I was making a fortune pretending to be a NBA player. All I had to do was stand there and look tall. Easy green. Then, before I knew what was happening I heard someone shout Shazam! and this guy flew in out of nowhere and threw down on me.
What kind of country is this when a tall guy can’t even pretend to be a NBA player anymore? Shawn Bradley never had this problem did he?
by Steve The Hedge on Jan 27, 2009 4:25 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Shawn Bradley most certainly had that same problem
by tingeyga on Jan 27, 2009 4:35 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Shawn Bradley actually blocked a lot more shots than "All-Star" Yao Ming. He also wasn't hurt that often. But people laugh at him...
by Norsktroll on Jan 27, 2009 5:47 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Shawn Bradley was a better shot blocker than Yao
however, that is just about the only thing that Bradley did better than Yao. This isn’t to say that Yao hasn’t gotten posterized. He has, notably by Stormile Swift and Kobe. But for someone with as many blocks as Bradley had, he was on the receiving end of a lot of facials.
by tingeyga on Jan 28, 2009 12:21 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I’m glad we could get off the topic
of humiliating each other for our blog style and get back to what supposed to be doing.
Talk basketball and humiliating in prose any opponent that might be posterized.
GO
THE TEACHER ......come into my classroom "THE PAINT" for some tutelage.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The rancor reflected in that remark I won't dignify with comment. But I'll address your general attitude of hopeless negativism." – Everett "O Brother, where art Thou?"
by Blazer1342 on Jan 27, 2009 6:34 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Yes I left out "we’re"
Does it seem odd that the very next day we’re called upon to muster up as much genius as possible, and use all kinds of writing styles, metaphors, you name it, to demoralize what’s left of the shell of a soul that Cheikh Samb once had………..
…….wait I don’t want to go there.
GO
THE TEACHER ......come into my classroom "THE PAINT" for some tutelage.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The rancor reflected in that remark I won't dignify with comment. But I'll address your general attitude of hopeless negativism." – Everett "O Brother, where art Thou?"
by Blazer1342 on Jan 27, 2009 6:48 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Here's some funny comments I saw at slam online:
http://slamonline.com/online/media/slam-tv/2009/01/slamadaday-brandon-roy-on-cheikh-samb/
B. Long Posted: Jan.27 at 11:54 am
They really shouldn’t let little kids see this.
Suge Posted: Jan.27 at 12:42 pm
Cruel & inhumane punishment… Michael Vick was more lenient. That was damn-near a hate crime.
by JasonT on Jan 27, 2009 7:13 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
haha
"Only dunk and go to the defense." Rudy Fernandez
by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 27, 2009 10:02 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
“Z Posted: Jan.27 at 7:45 pm
Dear Cheikh,
Nanga dèf? As a fellow Senegalese, I suggest that you don’t come home this summer. Dieuredieuf, waye.
Z.”
"Only dunk and go to the defense." Rudy Fernandez
by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 27, 2009 10:37 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
As Cheikh Samb awoke the following morning there was one word that came to mind Doh! (In the voice of Homer). He then reached for another “morning after” pill and went back to sleep.
by Flapbreaker on Jan 27, 2009 9:03 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Revenge?
After this does Samb start lifting weights and punching cow carcasses like Rocky?
YOUR GONNA EAT LIGHTNING AND CRAP THUNDER CHIEKH!
I'm afraid Chiekh Samb's kids are going to be born ducking
by GreatOden'sRaven on Jan 27, 2009 10:26 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I don't blame Cheikh Samb
He was only the fourth guy who failed to stop Brandon.
Sticking up for Travis Outlaw since 2008.
by Kaboomm on Jan 28, 2009 7:36 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Dazed and confused following the vicious Roy dunk
Cheik Samb finally comes to. His back glued to the cold Staples Center floor, Cheikh Samb rubs his fuzzy eyes. “Woah. What just happened?” “Hey…What the…Why does that Martell Webster guy have my sneakers?” “Hey! Give me back my sneakers!”
by JasonT on Jan 28, 2009 2:40 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
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