Today's Poll -- Fouling Out Edition

is stepping on the court and looking a a CAV.

Only because I would be too slow to comitt a foul.

but I don’t think me even punching most of these guys, would effect them at all. I’ve got the steve nash problem, the refs wouldn’t call fouls on me just out of pity.

I wouldn’t last 5 minutes, and not because I would foul out, but because I would pass out. I’m so out of shape I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the NBA game. Or I’d try for a rebound and get knocked into the second row of photographers.

Actually, what would happen is that as soon as I stepped on the court, the fans would start to taunt me. As soon as some drunk idiot courtside said something personal about me, I’d probably go after him and get myself thrown out.

That’s one of my big post defensive moves. Just a gentle push when someone does a turn-around against me.

Two reasons:

1) I don’t play defense. It’s no fun and wastes energy that I could use on the offensive end. Since I don’t play defense, I never foul anyone.

2) I also don’t play offense. If I ever made it into a game, it would be due to injury or fouls of someone else and therefore the team would be forced to play me extended minutes.

Put simply, I’m a total liability on the court.

by the time I caught up to everyone, they’d already be heading back down the court. I hold no illusions as to where I’d stand against NBA talent.

So… ticky tacky falls because they could probably drive at me and I just wouldn’t get out of the way fast enough.

as long as no running or jumping is involved.

6’2", 275 lbs. – Not Elgin.

<5 minutes.

But not due to foul trouble. I’d be too winded to foul anybody. After five minutes my legs would be lead and my lungs would be burning. After 10, they’d haul me off on a stretcher.

This is partly due to my age (56). But mainly it’s because I spend way too much time watching games on the couch & blogging at Blazersedge.

I play center/pf when i play with my friends.
and unlike the nba, we actually play defense (arm check, body check, etc.).

Plus I’m pretty sure stepping on the court was grounds for a foul last night.

JOOOOOOOOOOOOEY JOOOOOOOOOOOOEY

I’d probably get T’d up for arguing the call, then get T’d up again for arguing that T and get booted. Especially last night after that loose ball call on Oden against Queen James.

But I’m pretty sure that I would never make it to six fouls. Coaches would simply come to the conclusion that having only four guys on the floor would be better than having me out there at all.

I avoid fouls by not playing defense.

and 4 minutes in the penalty box for a major, and a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct. And I’d lose a stroke

because the ‘veteran’ tricks NBA players use to draw fouls just wouldn’t happen during a pickup game. Flopping, leaning into a guy who left his feet, Aldridge’s new get my off arm caught on the other guy on purpose move, etc….all this stuff would get me fouled out in no time at all. I’m not used to a guy falling over at the slightest touch.

Of course this is all assuming I was magically gifted an NBA game and body.

But I wouldn’t foul out, I’d collapse from exhaustion.

I’m 6-foot-4, so I generally guard the paint. It’s not that I foul people — they happen to run into me and fall over.

Of course, in the actual NBA I would last 0:38, the exact amount of garbage time Nate would let me have if the lead were more than 30.

I would hide in the corner most of the game hoping not to be stepped on. The only way I would foul is if I was running away and the other team ran me over.

I can’t vote because I had a hip replacement 2-1/2 years ago. The Doctor won’t let me play anymore. Sucks to get old.

… I was thinking there were a lot of delusional fans here.

The comments add a bit of persective.

because I’m delusional. But I don’t think I could keep up with anyone enough to foul them.

but i think i could flop enough to draw an offensive foul(my grandparents are from Europe so it’s in my blood)

although I did get called for a flagrant when a kid next to me tripped.

From between say age 6 and my sophomore year, I probably committed a total of 50 fouls.

Since this question was posted, I wound up playing in a pickup game against a guy I found out later was an actual NBA player. I’m sure he has a no-pickup-game clause in his contract, so (a) I won’t identify him and (b) he wasn’t playing hard. I managed to not foul him, almost always block him out for rebounds, and mostly stay in front of him on the dribble. On the other hand, I missed all my shots and also he wasn’t even trying.