Blazers Drinking Game

by RoyDrexler on Jan 12, 2009 11:51 AM PST

After reading Dave's insightful Bulls/Blazers preview, I went over to Blog-A-Bull to get a different perpective on tonight's matchup.

I watched a little bit of the Saturday Bulls/OKC game on WGN . Vinny Del Negro looked like a deer in headlights after Larry Hughes and Ben Gordon both drew offensive fouls on 2 on 1 fastbreaks that they failed to make the extra pass. After the Bulls' suffered another heartbreaking OT loss to the team that shall not be named, it's safe to say that many BAB readers needed a Bulls Drinking Game (hilarious). They say that imitation is the finest form of flattery (plus plagerism is easy). So, In the spirit of our BAB ambassador, tominhawaii, I give you the Blazers Drinking Game:

Feel free to add/subtract to the game, but drink responsively into unconsciencous or until Vinny Del Negro cuts his mullet.

via cache.daylife.com

Negative Game:

Take one sip if

Brandon is in street clothes
Travis shoots a wild, contested 20 foot jumper with 10 or more seconds on the clock
Mike Rice mispronounces a player's name or talks about the refs excessively
Greg is caught on the perimeter guarding a pg/sg/sf off a pick-n-roll switch
LMA shoots 3 long jump shots in a row (non pick-n-rolls)
Blake tries to go one-on-one and shoots off the dribble
You forget Batum is even in the game
You have to ride a packed Max train home during a snow storm after a Blazer game and there are no attractive people next to you or you are closterphobic
Rudy has a bad hair day or doesn't move his feet defensively
Sergio or Channing take any shot that's not wide open or not within the offensive flow
Joel drops a wide open pass for a dunk/alley oop
Ike/Shav/Channing are playing crunch time minutes
Nate goes small and to a zone defense for long stretches of time
Bayless is afraid to shoot an open shot and drives the lane for a TO
Rebecca Haarlow blinks and holds her eyes shut for 2 or more seconds
Read any story pertaining to Darius Miles or Greg Oden being the next Sam Bowie
Blazers lose :(

via d.yimg.com

Positive Game:

Take one sip if:

Brandon is playing
Travis makes a game winner or hits lots of wild, contested 20 footers in the 4th quarter
Mike Rice talks trash about Steve Javie or Phil Jackson's high chair
Greg grabs an offensive rebound or throws down a monster slam
LMA feet touch the paint when posting up or he makes that beautiful sweeping hook across the lane
Blakie knocks down a dagger three or makes the right pass
Batum monster block or consistenly hits the offensive boards/moves his feet defensively
They show ads during the Blazers game featuring the younger, more voluptuous girl from the Jay Lee's Gladstone commercial (not the older woman)
Rudy alley oops or when he screems and makes the 3 sign with his fingers after a big three pointer to fire the home crowd up
Sergio makes a sweet pass or hits clutch free throws
Joel takes a charge or blocks a dunk
Ike/Channing/Shav are playing garbage minutes in a blowout
Nate draws up a score after a timeout
B-Rex screems after a monster play whether he's in the game or not
Rebecca Haarlow wears her hair up or the mini skirt and boots combo
Read any story pertaining to KP being a G (copyright blzrfan1)
Blazers win! :)

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Comments

KP...

is this you?

I read that you like posting on some forums… welcome! You’re doing a great job!

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"

by you'vegottomakeyourfreethrows on Jan 12, 2009 11:52 AM PST reply actions

i don't know if I can drink that much water in one game

If you think I'm insulting you, I'm insulted that you'd even think that I would think of insulting you.

by prezofdeath on Jan 12, 2009 11:55 AM PST reply actions

Awesome list

You really know our team.

"When I have the ball, I experiment." #5

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 12, 2009 11:57 AM PST reply actions

take a sip if...

Rudy stands with the official to watch the big screen for the replay after a disputed call

Greg gets two fouls within the span of three possessions

LMA finishes as the trailer on the fast break (two if he’s out in front on the wing)

a Darius Miles reference is made

Rudy, Brandon or Nic make an athletic shot that you can not replicate on a nerf hoop in your living room (yes, I still have one)

by sfiles on Jan 12, 2009 12:41 PM PST reply actions

You forgot, "if Greg commits a foul with Joel waiting to come in"

by Timmay! on Jan 12, 2009 1:39 PM PST up reply actions

Dude... I'll be hammered by halftime either way.

by tmundal on Jan 12, 2009 12:50 PM PST reply actions

How about every time RICEY says "BLAKEY"...

If I could punch him through the tv screen every time he says that, I’d do it faster than you could say “shatow pooty tang”….

I didn't mean to turn you on

by dukedee on Jan 12, 2009 1:04 PM PST reply actions 1 recs

I completely agree

I wonder if Steve knows that is what Ricey calls him. I am guessing not, cuz if he did I am positive he would deliver a freshly made knuckle sandwich, hold the mercy.

by BlazerFanFromDenver on Jan 12, 2009 4:38 PM PST up reply actions

alcohol is toxic

probably shouldn’t drink at all

The question we should really ponder is not why al-Zeidi could be so impolite as to throw his shoes at Bush, but why the dozens of other shoes in the room remained on people's feet, why no foot odor ever purifies the air at a White House press conference, why a man who throws his shoes at our president is more popular than our president himself.

by MT Suit on Jan 12, 2009 1:08 PM PST reply actions 2 recs

The Rebecca Haarlow long-blink reference is great

I wondered if anyone else noticed that like half of the time she holds her eyes closed while she’s talking…

I would add: whenever Barrett and Rice have a “Best in Show” announcers moment. That is, whenever Mike Rice says something patently off or awkward, and Mike Barrett responds to it and tries to salvage the situation, like:

Rice: “(something wierd/off/awkward)”
Barrett: “Oh, well, ok, I dont know about that, but uhh, well, yeah, meanwhile Blake is 5 for 8 in the quarter…”

by TimG on Jan 12, 2009 1:27 PM PST reply actions

I am a fan of turning everyday things into drinking games (mostly political debates and state of the union addresses)
But this is too complicated it would be hard to keep track.
Needs to be real simple

eg.
Everytime the blazers foul.
Everytime a 3-pointer is hit.
Blocked shot=waterfall until someone hits the rim with a shot
turnover=drink

stick to the basics!

by pklym on Jan 12, 2009 1:31 PM PST reply actions

a blocked shot could get deadly if it goes out of bounds

They LIED!!!

http://www.nba.com/news/miles_10_080919.html

by maid tu rek on Jan 14, 2009 7:26 AM PST up reply actions

Yeah, I love me some game time drinky

But this list is WAY too long, I might get alcohol poisoning. However, if I use 1/3 of the list, this could be fun!

Rudy for ROY
Campaign 08-09

"Rudy is not everyday a shooter." ~Rudy Fernandez

by twiggs on Jan 12, 2009 1:36 PM PST reply actions

imagine...

if they had “When JJ1 steps out of bounds” You could easily get drunk off that one alone.

by Philthyanimal on Jan 12, 2009 9:41 PM PST up reply actions

This might be awkward...

but two things, that older lady in the Jay Lee Gladstone commercials hasn’t aged a day since I started watching Blazers games in the late 80’s, and even though I was 6 then and that is nearly 20 years ago, i find myself strangely attracted to her.
I mean damn, she looks good in that sweater.

"It's not who jumps the highest -- it's who wants it the most" Buck Williams

by Fund A Mental on Jan 12, 2009 3:38 PM PST reply actions