New Years Predictions

by Ben. on Jan 1, 2009 9:52 PM PST Comment 60 comments

What's going to happen in the next 365 days in Blazers land? What big events will shape the history of the franchise, the players, the management, the media, or this site? What excitement (or disaster) will we see? What moves will be made?

You are Nostradamus and you get one sentence. Bonus points for creativity and/or humor and/or accuracy.

Go get it. Rec your favorites in the comments.

-- Ben (benjamin.golliver@gmail.com)

0 recs | Comment 60 comments |

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

KP will announce...

that not only does he read Blazersedge, but all his executive decisions and draft day trades were pulled from posts on the website.

by kono on Jan 1, 2009 9:55 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

please god no

"When I have the ball, I experiment." #5

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 1, 2009 10:37 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

I don't know what funny business will happen...

I just know that win or lose, I’ll be right here watching.

Go Blazers.

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"

by you'vegottomakeyourfreethrows on Jan 1, 2009 9:57 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Prediction?

"Another spam message pops up. It gets trapped. Nowhere to go. To the recycle bin. RIP CITY BABY." --Ben describing Schonz checking his email.

by prezofdeath on Jan 1, 2009 10:01 PM PST reply actions 3 recs

Hilarious out take but even better prediction.......

Nice find!

by roy2rudy on Jan 1, 2009 10:09 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Jerryd Bayless

will become lead counselor at Keanu Reeves’ Camp for Method Acting.

by torsoheap on Jan 1, 2009 10:10 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Forget that

How ’bout we talk the REAL Reeves—-Big Country Reeves—-out of retirement and have him mentor Oden until Greg is averaging 30 pts 20 rebounds a game.

"Another spam message pops up. It gets trapped. Nowhere to go. To the recycle bin. RIP CITY BABY." --Ben describing Schonz checking his email.

by prezofdeath on Jan 1, 2009 11:23 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

My prediction for the new year is:

2009 will see the blazers rise to the elite level . . . just maybe not in the first half of it.

Things happen for a reason they say, but I say there's a reason things happen.

by sixth on Jan 1, 2009 10:24 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

2009 will see the end of people wasting comment space with their "FIRST" exclamations...

Also, I will sound like an angry old man, which I assure you I am not.

"I'd rather be thin than famous."

by Artie Fufkin on Jan 1, 2009 10:33 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

"Get off my lawn!!!"

Homer: "Yikes....a bear is eating my father!!"
Selma: "I'm Selma"
Homer: "A talking bear is eating my father!!"

by 92wastheyear on Jan 1, 2009 10:42 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Every other franchise in the NBA will realize they had a right to be terrified

when Portland drafted GO.

"Aneurysm".

When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie

by annthefan on Jan 1, 2009 10:50 PM PST reply actions 10 recs

rec

"When I have the ball, I experiment." #5

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 1, 2009 10:57 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Nostradamus used quatrains

From the Northwest a great power will emerge
to trouble angels and sorcerers alike.
During the rebirth of life the weak will be purged.
Spoils to the victor, June is the time to strike.

"It’s a good ol’ fashioned Rip City beat down!"

by Magnum on Jan 1, 2009 10:51 PM PST reply actions 3 recs

Oh! That's very good.

In deference to dear Tommy’s polemics, I recommend this post.

"Aneurysm".

When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie

by annthefan on Jan 1, 2009 11:03 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Meant as a reply to Magnum.

"Aneurysm".

When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie

by annthefan on Jan 1, 2009 11:05 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I like recs

I just don’t get why people just don’t rec the comment. It’s the folks that say “rec” then don’t rec that get me.

by tominhawaii on Jan 2, 2009 4:37 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs

rec.

"Aneurysm".

When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie

by annthefan on Jan 2, 2009 12:13 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

flag

"When I have the ball, I experiment." #5

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 2, 2009 3:32 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Blazers Edge will grow so large..

that it will be the 2nd man made object visible from space.

Honor Terry Porter

by Philthyanimal on Jan 1, 2009 11:18 PM PST reply actions 5 recs

Ha! rec

And Dave will be aloof and unapproachable, surrounded by his posse, bling toters, hanger-ons, shirt-tail relatives looking for a ride…the BEdgeFamily.

The cowards never started
The weak died along the way
Only the strong survived
They were the Trailblazers

by lukeyhere on Jan 2, 2009 10:25 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

SOOOO CLOOOOSSEEE TOOO GREEENNN

Honor Terry Porter

by Philthyanimal on Jan 2, 2009 10:25 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Ha! rec.

"Aneurysm".

When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie

by annthefan on Jan 3, 2009 11:10 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

KP

will somehow find a way to trade Raef Lefrenz for Lebron James and the Cavs next five 1st round draft picks (and the Cavs will think they got the better end of the deal).

by Dmartyparty on Jan 1, 2009 11:24 PM PST reply actions 1 recs

My prediction

50-32, 6th seed in the West, upset NO in 1st round and lose to DEN in 2nd.

by joelgwsu on Jan 1, 2009 11:27 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Denver makes it to the second round?

crazy talk.

"When I have the ball, I experiment." #5

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 1, 2009 11:46 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

my thoughts exactly

"It’s a good ol’ fashioned Rip City beat down!"

by Magnum on Jan 1, 2009 11:53 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Wait...

he’s saying Denver beats Portland in the second round. He’s not saying they make it to the second round, but that they make it to the Western Conference Finals.

Billups isn’t THAT good…

by mwalter on Jan 2, 2009 12:32 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I wish we had him

It doesn't mean you should just because you can. Like Abraham and Ishmael, fighting over sand - it doesn't mean you should just because you can. That is a fact of life. - Adrian Belew

by 22baylor on Jan 2, 2009 9:00 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Blazers fans will spend six months...

doing nothing but celebrating after Darius Miles does not get into 10 games this season.

"Brandon Roy just destroyed everything in his path. There's your rational analysis" Dave 12/18/08

by shua on Jan 2, 2009 12:19 AM PST reply actions 1 recs

Rudy will win the vote to enter the dunk contest, but will not win the contest.

by conspirator5 on Jan 2, 2009 12:23 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

When we draft Ricky Rubio 46 million of Spanish jump into the bandwagon.

A new nickname for Portland is born: Little Spain.

Sergio + Rudy = 16
Sergio + Bayless = 16
Batum 8+8=16

by amlmart1 on Jan 2, 2009 12:26 AM PST reply actions 1 recs

correction

When we ~~draft~~ steal Ricky Rubio.

"When I have the ball, I experiment." #5

by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 2, 2009 3:31 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Love corrections.

Sergio + Rudy = 16
Sergio + Bayless = 16
Batum 8+8=16

by amlmart1 on Jan 3, 2009 2:12 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Other teams begin to cry... (like Garnett whining for a foul call)

trying to figure out whose offensive game to stop:

Roy…

Aldridge…

Fernandez…

Blake…

Oden.

Simply unstoppable – Rip City is coming home! It’s coming home!!!

by mwalter on Jan 2, 2009 12:37 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

KP will inexplicibly...

take the year off. When asked why he will say:
“I have nothing to do, this roster is perfect.”

by phillyduck23 on Jan 2, 2009 1:31 AM PST reply actions 1 recs

Or...

After singing a song he’ll take out his umbrella and fly away confidant that his work is complete.

by alacritybagel on Jan 2, 2009 1:40 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

more likely

he will take a well deserved “holiday” to europe for scouting purposes

by Yawnie on Jan 2, 2009 3:05 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

The term 'Pritchslap" will be added to the American Heritage Dictionary

"Brandon Roy just destroyed everything in his path. There's your rational analysis" Dave 12/18/08

by shua on Jan 2, 2009 2:01 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Blazers Edge

will get an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records for stupid trade proposals.

If you can't convince them, confuse them -- Harry Truman, U.S. President

by jscot on Jan 2, 2009 2:05 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

john canzano is adamant about something

by contemnor on Jan 2, 2009 4:27 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

LaMarcus Aldridge will make the block, to fast break alley-oop a staple of “Blazers
basketball”

Please?

by BeloHorizante on Jan 2, 2009 4:46 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Greg Oden will stop dunking on people's heads and will start aiming for the face.

His new catch phrase will be, “Oden loves his balls in your face!”

by tominhawaii on Jan 2, 2009 4:47 AM PST reply actions 1 recs

Kevin Pritchard will pull off another move,

That makes the rest of the league shudder in fear. Before the 09-10 All star break, another all star will be added to the lineup.

Also.. The blazers will enter the playoffs being underestimated by nearly everyone. This will make the Lamarcus, and the Greg angry. The twin towers v2 will destroy the souls of all opponents. They may not make it to the finals this year, but lookout world. When GODen wants something. GODen takes it.

by tmundal on Jan 2, 2009 7:42 AM PST reply actions 1 recs

This would be my prediction as well

I think that KP is waiting for the opportunity to present itself to make a deal that will be both unexpected and significant.

by Storyteller on Jan 2, 2009 10:26 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

KP will make a major move that looks horrible, and a lot of people will get banned from BE for swearing about it

In fact there will be so much swearing Dave and Ben will have to be lenient and allow people back after a week or so to keep traffic up. But in hindsight it will be a brilliant move only KP could make.

by Norsktroll on Jan 2, 2009 8:34 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Comcast Sportsnet will give Jason Quick exactly what he needs....

His own soap opera! So he can start drama on something else…

by DKZagBlazer on Jan 2, 2009 9:07 AM PST reply actions 1 recs

Rudy does even gooder things

The cowards never started
The weak died along the way
Only the strong survived
They were the Trailblazers

by lukeyhere on Jan 2, 2009 10:29 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Ryan Seacreast will replace Jason Quick

And no one will notice, nor care.

Activate Shavlik Randolph

by appel82 on Jan 2, 2009 10:35 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

that's right seacreast, not crest

Activate Shavlik Randolph

by appel82 on Jan 2, 2009 10:35 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

10 Things in 2009:

1. Dave is Stevie B’s dad
2. Ben is JQ’s brother
3. Ben will leave BE to join the Portland Trailblazer, replacing Casey who will join serial killer John Hollinger at ESPN, petitioning NBA to move to the BCS system.
4. BE leaves SBNation when Dave/Ben realize that they will make more money on advertising on their own.
5. Ben makes man-babies with Rajon Rondo
6. Blazers win WCF and Dave is shown AGAIN on TNT dancing naked.
7. Everyone will start buying my tshirt: 6>5>C’s=8
8. Raef and Channing gets traded to Memphis for Rudy Gay and no-one will be surprised
9. Rudy wins the Dunk Contest with this dunk: Pulls out a full size cardboard cutout of Dwight Howard wearing his Team USA jersey…Rudy puts on his Spain jersey, and re-enacts the Gold Medal dunk.
10. Someone from BE will get arrested during our championship parade and their only phone call from jail is actually a post on BE.

G.O. Crazy G.O. Crazy, I wanna party in your tummy!!!

by broyposse on Jan 2, 2009 11:48 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

you totally ripped #9 off of me

i don’t mind…at lesat give me a rec. lol.

Honor Terry Porter

by Philthyanimal on Jan 2, 2009 10:34 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

i did? didn't see it...sorry bro!

G.O. Crazy G.O. Crazy, I wanna party in your tummy!!!

by broyposse on Jan 2, 2009 11:23 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

lol its ok

http://www.blazersedge.com/2008/12/30/705268/rudy-dunk-contest#11067866

Honor Terry Porter

by Philthyanimal on Jan 2, 2009 11:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

As a Blazer Promo:

First 1,000 fans recieve a free “SABAS Hand”.

Dan in Troutdale (US American)

by Here come the men in black on Jan 2, 2009 1:36 PM PST reply actions 1 recs

Only Brockway and I would understand that...

Recced

Honor Terry Porter

by Philthyanimal on Jan 2, 2009 11:00 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Blazers member arrested:

Blaze arrested on suspicion of Cat Fighting charges. Quintel Woods is Outraged!

Dan in Troutdale (US American)

by Here come the men in black on Jan 2, 2009 1:44 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

-Roy grows angel wings
-carries steve blake to the hoop
-to dunk over shaq

-that was a haiku,
- i think all comments should be
-keep the dumbdumbs out

by pklym on Jan 2, 2009 3:05 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Pritchard surprises everybody

and doesn’t make any trades.

because we has everything we need.

by bink919 on Jan 2, 2009 4:43 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

oops dumbdumb

we “have” of course

by bink919 on Jan 2, 2009 4:47 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Comcast Sports Net

Will finally get a deal done with Directv, and then Philthyanimal will lead the masses to cancel Comcast in favor of Directv so that we can watch NFL league pass and the Blazers on one provider.

Honor Terry Porter

by Philthyanimal on Jan 2, 2009 11:44 PM PST reply actions 1 recs