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KEVIN PRITCHARD VS CHUCK NORRIS

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris.

When Kevin McHale goes to sleep at night, he looks uder his bed for Kevin Pritchard. (KP)

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

KP can pop two basketballs with one glance.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

There is no one theory of basketball. Just a list of magnificent basketball creatures that KP has allowed  to live on his team.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

KP is so fast, that he tried to run around the world to punch himself in the head, but he ducked and Pritch slapped Danny Ainge instead.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

When KP doesn't wear a watch, HE decides when to crush the Western Conference

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

KP is the reason why the Seattle Sonics are hiding in Oklahoma. (they're trying to get out of our division)

Chuck Norris can count to infinity- twice.

KP can count championships to infinity- twice.

KP doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he needs

KP can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

KP does not sleep, he waits.......

I'm sure you can add some additional Kevin Pritchard facts. Have fun, but remember, KP is watching......

 

 

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Chuck Norris is never over...

or at least won’t be until we have some replacement tough guys. Back in the day we had Chuck, Sly, Ah-nold…heck Clint was still young enough to be tough. Towards the end of the tough guy era you can even throw in Bruce Willis.

Now you got yer bunch of namby pamby pretty boys, packin’ their pretty guns…they even bleed pretty. We can blame Mel Gibson for starting the slide.

Okay…

KP is so fast he walks backwards just to see what he already did
KP is so crafty he fingerpainted the Mona Lisa
KP is so sharp you can cut a tin can with him…and still slice a tomato!

by lukeyhere on Aug 29, 2008 9:03 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

who are the tough guys now?

Steven Segal
Jean Claude Van Damme
Jackie Chan

Man those guys all suck. What happened to quality like Charles Branson?

by NWfan on Aug 29, 2008 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

from BRONSON, Missouri?

http://www.myspace.com/y5k

by Y5k on Aug 29, 2008 10:13 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Even those guys are almost a generation ago, but they were definitely part of the slide. I’ll keep Jackie Chan in his own category though…not really tough guy, not really comedian, but definitely entertaining.

I think these days we are stuck with Vin Diesel, The Rock and Leonardo Dicaprio????

Charles Bronson….good catch there. The “every man” tough guy in the vein of Steve McQueen, particularly Bullitt (if you are reminiscing about tough guys and have never seen Bullitt…rent now!!).

by lukeyhere on Aug 29, 2008 11:54 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Jason Statham is getting a lot of tough guy roles

Odenied: Asked whether he noticed Oden favoring his right knee, Frye dismissed it entirely. "He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors."

by Norsktroll on Aug 29, 2008 12:15 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

A-ha!!

I was picturing him but couldn’t think of his name. The Transporter series weren’t real good movies, but he fills the tough guy role pretty well. He might be one that helps resurrect the action hero.

Although I remember thinking that about Segal about 15 years ago too….

by lukeyhere on Aug 29, 2008 12:36 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

He bugs me because he can't do a movie without cars

He’s a video game action hero.

The first day I ever met him he said: "Hi, I'm Ritchie White. I'm on probation."

by tominhawaii on Aug 30, 2008 2:50 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

yeah it's all about Rudy now!!!

Little known fact: Rudy Fernandez once roundhouse kicked Chuck Norris in the face while simultaneously dunking on it.

by In Walks Rudy on Aug 28, 2008 9:47 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

rudy for prezdent!

first amend the constitution then run rudy I think he could beat that german dude in california. shwarzenegger.

by Love on Aug 28, 2008 10:01 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

but the question is

Could he beat Chuck Norris? Schwartzenegger is kind of washed up nowadays anyway.

The perfect is the enemy of the good.

by vavoom on Aug 28, 2008 10:09 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ahnold is Austrian

Sorry for the geography police.

by NWfan on Aug 29, 2008 10:06 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

"Besides, AnntheFan will be here any minute to #25 you." T Darkstar

by annthefan on Aug 29, 2008 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Huckabee

i love how he admitted he would have to change to constitution to run the country how he wanted

by Zaron5551 on Aug 28, 2008 9:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

he would have won had he only...

chosen Rudy to be his main pitch man…

Little known fact: Rudy Fernandez once roundhouse kicked Chuck Norris in the face while simultaneously dunking on it.

by In Walks Rudy on Aug 28, 2008 10:16 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

what was his name?

for some reason I can’t remember his name. he’s a former pastor who was governor of arkansas and he lost a lot of weight a few years ago. lost a hundred pounds if I’m not mistaken. wonder why he didn’t go on to work for subway sandwiches like that guy jerrod.
that’s the guy the chuck norris was promoting. wanted him as president I guess because of his religious credentials. chuck norris likes those religious credentials gots to be Christian or else it doesn’t have the truth.
he never had acting chops though. face was always too stiff. amazing that he ever found any work in hollywood that texas ranger walker show was really cheesy. you almost expected everything to be fake.

by Love on Aug 28, 2008 9:57 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Mike Huckabee

from wikipedia:

Huckabee announced his run for the White House on Meet the Press on January 28, 2007.136

At the August 11 Iowa Straw Poll, Huckabee took second place with 2,587 votes, roughly 18 percent.137 Huckabee spent $57.98 per vote in the Straw Poll, which is the lowest among the top three finishers.138 Huckabee drew attention with an unconventional ad featuring Chuck Norris.139 In a later ad Huckabee wished voters a merry Christmas, and said that “what really matters is the celebration of the birth of Christ.”140 Critics accused him of exploiting the issue of religion, which he denied.141142 According to the Associated Press, on NBC’s Meet The Press on December 31, 2007, Huckabee “stood by” a 1998 comment in which he said, “I hope we answer the alarm clock and take this nation back for Christ.” Huckabee told NBC that his comment was “appropriate to be said to a gathering of Southern Baptists.”143 Huckabee has credited divine intervention with some of his political success.144

On January 3, 2008, Huckabee won the Iowa Republican caucuses, receiving 34% of the electorate and 17 delegates, compared to the 25% of Mitt Romney who finished second, receiving 12 delegates, Fred Thompson who came in third place and received three delegates, John McCain who came in fourth place and received three delegates and Ron Paul who came in fifth place and received two delegates.

On January 8, 2008, Huckabee finished in third place in the New Hampshire primary, behind John McCain in first place, and Mitt Romney who finished second, with Huckabee receiving one more delegate for a total of 18 delegates, gained via elections, and 21 total delegates, versus 30 total (24 via elections) for Romney, and 10 for McCain (all via elections).
 
Mike Huckabee giving his concession speech after the 2008 South Carolina Presidential Primary in Columbia, SC.

On January 15, 2008, Huckabee finished in third place in the Michigan Republican primary, 2008, behind John McCain in second place, Mitt Romney who finished first and ahead of Ron Paul who finished in fourth place.145 146

On January 19, 2008, Huckabee finished in second place in the South Carolina Republican primary, 2008, behind John McCain who finished first and ahead of Fred Thompson who finished third. 147

On January 29, 2008, Huckabee finished in fourth place in the Florida primary, behind Rudy Guliani in third, Mitt Romney in second, and John McCain in first place.

On February 5, 2008, Huckabee won the first contest of “Super Tuesday”, the West Virginia GOP state convention, winning 52% of the electorate to Mitt Romney’s 47%. 148 Backers of rival John McCain threw him their support to prevent Mitt Romney from capturing the winner-take-all GOP state convention vote.149 Huckabee also registered victories in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia and Tennessee on Super Tuesday, bringing his delegate count up to 156, compared to 689 for Republican party front-runner John McCain150.

On February 9, 2008, Huckabee won the first election following Super Tuesday, by winning 60% of the vote in the Kansas Republican Caucuses.151 This was also the first contest to be held without Mitt Romney, who was said to be splitting the conservative vote with Huckabee and some pundits suggested it was the reason for Huckabee’s landslide victory.152 Huckabee also won the Louisiana Republican Primary with 44% of the vote to John McCain’s 43% in second. Although Huckabee won the primary he was not awarded any delegates, because of the state party rules that state a candidate must pass the 50% threshold to receive the state’s pledged delegates.153

On March 4, 2008, Huckabee withdrew from seeking the candidacy as it became apparent he would lose in Texas, where he had hoped to win and that John McCain would get the 1191 delegates required to win the Republican nomination.

by Zaron5551 on Aug 28, 2008 10:00 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

huckabee and changing the constituion

“[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it’s a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that’s what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards,” Huckabee said, referring to the need for a constitutional human life amendment and an amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman.

link

by Zaron5551 on Aug 28, 2008 10:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Article VI, Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution:

The Senators and Representatives…shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.

The perfect is the enemy of the good.

by vavoom on Aug 28, 2008 10:15 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

i think you should bold the support the constitution part

he clearly wants to amend the constitution for God which cleary breaks the seperation of church and state. To me, he clearly doesn’t not suport the consitution. I don’t support him because of his policies, not because of his religion. And no one gave him a religious test; he was allowed to run, as he should have been, and could have won.

by Zaron5551 on Aug 28, 2008 10:29 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

The Founders were so leery of mixing religion into government

that they inserted that clause into the main body of the Constitution. They did not want to wait around and hope that their worry would be addressed by one of the first ten amendments. (Subsequently, of course, they did address these concerns more comprehensively by providing for the strict separation of church and state in the First Amendment.)

People like Huckabee who insist on bringing religion into politics try to get all creative with their reading of the First Amendment. But they simply ignore Article VI, Section 3 and they wince when someone brings it up. Nothing could be more clear than Article VI, Section 3: no Religious test shall ever be required as a qualification for public office. In other words, keep religion out of government.

Huckabee and his ilk (Chuck Norris among them) believe that the Constitution is rooted in the Bible. This is pure poppycock. As Thomas Jefferson pointed out in rebutting the zealots of his time, the Constitution is rooted in British common law. British common law flourished for at least two hundred years before the introduction of Christianity to the British Isles.

The perfect is the enemy of the good.

by vavoom on Aug 28, 2008 10:33 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

thanks for the clarification i though you were disagreeing with me

Jefferson wrote his own bible, or edited one and it quite irritated Christians.

by Zaron5551 on Aug 28, 2008 10:46 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I don't completely understand

As long as the 1st commandment isn’t added (put God before all things-ish), I don’t really see what is wrong as long as it is strictly a change to reflect values and not beliefs (which is what it sounded like). While I’m not wild about the idea, I find it hardly unconstitutional, it isn’t a test. And if you think that the spirit of that sentence of the constitution is violated, I’d find it hard to believe given that the Declaration of Independence (12 years earlier) mentions God. The separation of church and state, doesn’t in my mind mean that religion can’t be mentioned (or a value found in a religious text can’t be include in law), but rather a safe guard against the type of power the Church of England had earlier.

Granted, this is coming from some one who, while not really religious, thinks religions get a bad rep from intellectuals.

Joel Freeland=Stud

by hightide on Aug 29, 2008 12:02 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

i guess if it passed it probably wouldn't be unconstitutional unless of course it could be proven to have been strictly religous

i.e. gay marriage is bad only becasue the christian God said so. I could see that being uncostition because it pushes on religious view on others.

by Zaron5551 on Aug 29, 2008 12:19 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

even though christianity is the majority of people.

because by making something illegal just because one God says it is wrong sorta pushes that religion on people that don’t practice that religion. Of course one could argue than many states are already breaking the constitution by not recognizing marriage licenses for gay couple that were married in Massachusetts and now California. Because marriage licenses, as i understand it, are supposed to be recognized in all states.

by Zaron5551 on Aug 29, 2008 12:23 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It would have to be worded right not to break the constitution

Not like, John, chapter 5, verses 38-40 verbatim. And, even though I don’t sound it, I think people who are very cautious about religion are important in keeping our national ecosystem in balance.

Sometimes I think that we should go back to the Articles of Confederation since there is no need for a strong central government anymore. Let each state make up the laws, and if you don’t the laws in your state, just move to the state you agree with most.

Joel Freeland=Stud

by hightide on Aug 29, 2008 12:38 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

i would have to be worded very carefully

and i disagree about the articles of confederation thing, but I don’t feel like debting it.

by Zaron5551 on Aug 29, 2008 9:37 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm not serious-serious

But it would be pretty cool revisit the idea.

Joel Freeland=Stud

by hightide on Aug 29, 2008 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

i do agree that some changes to constitution could be helpful

but I don’t who we could trust to change the constitution. The country is so divided that I don’t think a majority of the country could ever trust any group on individuals.

by Zaron5551 on Aug 29, 2008 2:37 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I tell you what should be unconsitutional

Having to sit through the month of August without Blazers basketball. Oh the inhumanity of it all.

by NWfan on Aug 29, 2008 10:14 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Not sure what we're talking about anymore

If passed by two thirds of the House and Senate or if ratified by three quarters of the states’ legislatures, an amendment becomes binding law. Amendments are supposed to be difficult to pass; hence the supermajority requirement.

Given the supermajority requirement, it is practically impossible to pass amendments of the sort proposed by Huckabee. Theoretically, however, it COULD be done. Heck, theoretically, the Constitution could be amended to define marriage as being only between two men, or between a man and a monkey. Once an amendment is passed, it becomes part of the Constitution — part of the highest law of the land. And it is, ipso facto, not unconstitutional.

My point in raising Article VI, Section 3 was to take note of how clearly off the mark religious conservatives are when they suggest that the Founders wanted govt to be guided by religious principles.

The perfect is the enemy of the good.

by vavoom on Aug 29, 2008 10:11 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

i know

what I was trying to say is that even if a gay marriage ban amendment to the constitution passed it would be in essence forcing a religion on every person in the United States; therefore it would not be congruent with other parts of the constitution and unconstitutional. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong.

by Zaron5551 on Aug 29, 2008 10:29 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think you are wrong

It is constitutional to amend the constitution, so logically an amendment cannot be unconstitutional. It changes the constitution so as to redefine what is constitutional. By definition, amendments are constitutional.

Amendments may be illogical, nutty, absurd, laughable, immoral, and all kinds of other things, but constitutional amendments cannot be unconstitutional unless they are passed in a manner that violates the constitutional provisions for amending the constitution. Even then, it isn’t the amendment itself that is unconstitutional, but the way it is passed that would invalidate it.

Simple logic.

Other people don't have as much practice at being wrong as I do -- HT, timbo

by jscot on Aug 29, 2008 12:03 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Chuck Norris simile

Chuck Rules.

"He doesn't let grass grow under his feet when there are points to be had." - Dave

by BlueBooYay on Aug 28, 2008 10:13 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Chuck Norris anomoly

Chuck Rules.

"He doesn't let grass grow under his feet when there are points to be had." - Dave

by BlueBooYay on Aug 28, 2008 10:16 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

i hate subject lines

When Greg Oden does push-ups he doesn’t go up, the earth goes down.

by mcmillion on Aug 28, 2008 10:19 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

When KP eats alphabet soup

he craps out poetry.

Oden+Roy+Aldridge+Rudy=Dynasty. Believe

by OdenRoyLMA on Aug 29, 2008 12:20 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Wherever KP spits a tree grows,

One time he sneezed and a forest grew up around him.

by SpyderRyder on Aug 29, 2008 2:47 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

KP went to the The Virgin Islands last month.....

They are now simply known as The Islands

RUDY > MJ

by myemic23 on Aug 29, 2008 4:39 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Ha!

I lived there for 5 years, and I’ll tell you … ain’t no virgins.

http://www.myspace.com/y5k

by Y5k on Aug 29, 2008 7:52 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

KP killed the Dead Sea

That brought him some respect around the league.

Odenied: Asked whether he noticed Oden favoring his right knee, Frye dismissed it entirely. "He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors."

by Norsktroll on Aug 29, 2008 5:40 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

KP should trade RLEC for Chuck’s beard.

http://www.myspace.com/y5k

by Y5k on Aug 29, 2008 7:55 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

KP Doesn't Cry

He just something in both his eyes at the same time.
(Thinking about thos 15 championships)

"It's how you play the Ga-ame..." - Greg Oden with Justin Timeberlake at the Espy's

by BlazermaniacAndy on Aug 29, 2008 9:01 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Got

Got something in both his eyes, wow I ruined that one

"It's how you play the Ga-ame..." - Greg Oden with Justin Timeberlake at the Espy's

by BlazermaniacAndy on Aug 29, 2008 9:03 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

E

Plus there is and E at the end of THOS

(Ok I’m going back to work now)

"It's how you play the Ga-ame..." - Greg Oden with Justin Timeberlake at the Espy's

by BlazermaniacAndy on Aug 29, 2008 9:04 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Andy, Just stop talking

:)

"Thank God those nightmarish booty-less days are behind us. I blame cocaine."-Mortimer
I detest that man who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks for another. - Homer
That was a very hard winter,
and it was just like one long night,
with me lying awake, waiting and waiting and waiting
for daybreak.
- Black Elk
1881
The wild hawk stood with the down on his beak And stared with his foot on the prey. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

by BlazerFan1 on Aug 29, 2008 9:09 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Right?

Trying to just get through this day, I got this hot date at a comedy club tonight.
I just read a post where someone said it would be hot if you threw up in their mouth. That’s swell.

In KP we trust, not to throw up in our mouth’s.

"It's how you play the Ga-ame..." - Greg Oden with Justin Timeberlake at the Espy's

by BlazermaniacAndy on Aug 29, 2008 9:17 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Going to the U.S. Open tonight.

Taken my lady fer her B-day.
Damn I’m nice.

http://www.myspace.com/y5k

by Y5k on Aug 29, 2008 9:42 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I thought that was funny/disgusting!

lol

"Thank God those nightmarish booty-less days are behind us. I blame cocaine."-Mortimer
I detest that man who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks for another. - Homer
That was a very hard winter,
and it was just like one long night,
with me lying awake, waiting and waiting and waiting
for daybreak.
- Black Elk
1881
The wild hawk stood with the down on his beak And stared with his foot on the prey. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

by BlazerFan1 on Aug 29, 2008 10:07 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love these Blazer fans

I feel like we are one big happy family, like a mother bird, feeding her young, by regurgitating in their mouths.

"It's how you play the Ga-ame..." - Greg Oden with Justin Timeberlake at the Espy's

by BlazermaniacAndy on Aug 29, 2008 10:32 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Another one liner

Chuck norris tears cure cancer….. Too bad he’s never cried.

"The next day in practice, if you sweat, it's going to come out of your pores, regardless. If you ask any coach around the league how many times they have smelled liquor on a player . . . As long as that player is showing up on time, doing the drills and running, that's part of it. But there have been times, yeah. Yeah, you probably smelled liquor on me. But it's not like I'm at practice drunk. I'm totally focused."
-Darius Miles

by Steve Guttenberg on Aug 29, 2008 11:23 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Another

When Chuck Norris walks into a room he doesn’t turn the lights on he turnes the dark off.

"The next day in practice, if you sweat, it's going to come out of your pores, regardless. If you ask any coach around the league how many times they have smelled liquor on a player . . . As long as that player is showing up on time, doing the drills and running, that's part of it. But there have been times, yeah. Yeah, you probably smelled liquor on me. But it's not like I'm at practice drunk. I'm totally focused."
-Darius Miles

by Steve Guttenberg on Aug 29, 2008 11:25 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

What many people don´t know is that Chuck Norris did mind-control exercises with fishes.

He looked at them, straight and deep in their eyes, and sent a message to them: “move you up, move you down”. But the fishes never moved and only looked straight and deep in Chuck´s eyes. Then Chuck started doing “ooops-ooops-ooops-ooops” moving his head up and down.

The Midnight Rambler

by amlmart1 on Aug 29, 2008 3:14 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

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