first!!!

My grandpa freakin’ loves Branson. It’s Hee-Haw heaven.

Sure, we are so smug with our sophistication. But tell me deep in our hearts of hearts who doesn’t want the thrill of Pirates combined with the family friendly excitement of minature golf?

So off to Olive Garden followed by a night of Yakov! I think Steven Hill and Greg Oden could have a blast in Branson. It would make one hell of a 1/2 time feature.

The cheesiest city in America. Where Country (and kitsch Country) goes to die.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg

I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus:
He’s a lumberjack and he’s OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus:
He’s a lumberjack and he’s OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women’s clothing and hangs around in bars?!

Chorus:
He’s a lumberjack and he’s OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear Papa!!

Mounties:
I cut down trees, I wear high heels?!
Suspenders…and a bra?!…

Just the Lumberjack:
I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear Papa!!

lives right near Branson, in the middle of nowhere. The Ozarks make Eastern Oregon look futuristic.