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I haven't said much about the Olympics, but this week's New Yorker had a great article by Anthony Lane from Beijing.  It may be the funniest thing I've read all year.  Here's a link.

A few favorites...

Incredible description of the Opening Ceremonies...

The apotheosis of this effort was the opening ceremony at the National Stadium, on the evening of August 8th. I arrived well in time for the crash course in audience participation. "The world has given its love and trust to China, and today China will give the world a big warm hug," one of the masters of ceremonies said. While admiring their faultless English, you had to wonder why they had chosen to learn it by watching "Barney's Great Adventure."

On how London is planning to match Beijing's pageantry when it plays host in 2012.

Formerly Sebastian Coe, part of the shining generation of British middle-distance runners in the nineteen-eighties, he now heads the team that will bring the Olympics to London in 2012. I tried to pick him out among the V.I.P.s on that first Friday, but without success. He may have been hiding in the men's room, calling home to order more light bulbs. You can imagine the rising panic in his voice: "They had two thousand and eight drummers, all lit up. Yes, two thousand and eight. And what have we got so far? Elton John on a trampoline."

On water polo:

The rules and infringements of this ancient sport are of a solemn complexity, but all are founded on the fundamental desire of one person to treat another as a tea bag. You find your opposite number, grab him (or her), and dunk, regardless of whether the ball is anywhere in the vicinity; neck-holding is especially popular, involving, as it does, much frantic splashing on the part of the drowner, and the whole exercise looks weirdly like a lifesaving class, except that the motive is reversed.

Go read it.

-- Ben (benjamin.golliver@gmail.com)

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Hahaha

I like the description of the Opening Ceremony

--

by CaptainSexyJacob on Aug 24, 2008 4:26 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Your excerpts

were funny so I clicked the link … and was bored by the middle of page 2. I guess it’s another case of the preview spoiling the movie …

by kickbrass on Aug 24, 2008 6:06 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Most articles are like a pond, and Ben is the ultimate fisherman.

There’s only a few fish worth keeping in most ponds…and same with most articles. So I let Ben do the fishing, the gutting, the cleaning, and the cookin’. All I do is eat at his table of goodness.

"I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five."
Who else? Charles Barkley

by prezofdeath on Aug 24, 2008 11:23 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Pick up a copy of his essays

If you liked that article, there’s loads more in his collection Nobody’s Perfect. And his review of “Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith” has a full clip of cheap shots.

I still fail to understand why I should have been expected to waste twenty-five years of my life following the progress of a beeping trash can and a gay, gold-plated Jeeves.[1]

by rpeachey on Aug 24, 2008 9:03 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I find the discrimination of robots with a different sexual orientation appaling

Just image a Spanish basketball player had made this comment.

Odenied: Asked whether he noticed Oden favoring his right knee, Frye dismissed it entirely. "He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors."

by Norsktroll on Aug 25, 2008 5:22 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I tried to imagine it

But it made me so angry I punched a horse!!

WHO DO THOSE SPAIN-YERDS THINKS THEY IS.

R2-D2 is my favorite character in Star Wars. If ANYONE was ever a G, it is R2D2. He always know what was the what, always knew what was going down, knew who Darth Vader was and kept it a secret like a total G. He also helped Luke fall in the draft by hyping up people like Biggs and Porkins.

R2-D2 IS THE BEST ROBOT EVER.

Mortimer

by Mortimer on Aug 26, 2008 3:56 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Twiki would mop the floor with him

and send his spare parts to the compactor.

Bidi-bidi-bidi… mmmmmmBook it, Buck!

—Dave

by Dave on Aug 26, 2008 12:45 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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