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Around SBN: How The Kings Beat The Coyotes: Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Our Goal

Since Blazersedge has gotten bigger and more notorious we are often asked what our future goals will be.  We usually keep it close to the vest because we don't want to jinx anything, but with Ben's recent interview with a Spanish site (the second for us in as many years) and our growing popularity in France and Finland, it's time to finally reveal our true target.

The time:  Summer, 2014. 

The place:  Yet to be revealed, but we're hoping Rio de Janeiro. 

Cue Bob Costas.

Bob:  Good evening folks, and welcome back to the Blogolympics.  We're right in the middle of the finals of the 3000-words-and-over NBA division.  For the call let's go to Tom Hammond and Buzz Bissinger in the Rio Basement Hall.

Tom Hammond:  Thanks, Bob.  Right now we have Dave Deckard of Blazersedge just reaching the three-quarters mark in this marathon competition.

Buzz Bissinger:  That's right, Tom.  The 3000-words-and-over division is definitely the heavyweight class.  These guys have to show endurance and maintain the level of interest.  You can't just throw in fluff paragraphs here.  The judges are going to want incisive reasoning and sparkling verbiage throughout.

Tom:  How's Dave from Blazersedge doing so far?

Buzz:  He's just finishing up a paragraph comparing Greg Oden's effect on the league to the barrier-breaking quantum tunneling properties of sub-atomic particles.  Heady stuff.

Tom:  You know, many found it surprising that Dave would make the U.S. team.  Henry Abbott of Truehoop was considered a lock.

Buzz:  Yes, but there was that whole doping scandal.

Tom:  You kind of suspected when he was bald and had typing fingers the size of ripe zucchini.

Buzz:  Well, Henry started out his career pure but he had to work his way back from the injuries he sustained trying to uncover that whole William Wesley thing.  The pressure was on to recover fast.

Tom:  Oh!  Dave has just completed the treacherous double link portion of his program.  Looked good to me!

Buzz:  Yes, but he tends to rely too much on "here" and "click here" in his hyperlink descriptions.  The level of difficulty is just too low there.  The judges want to see more at this level.

Tom:  What else are they looking for?

Buzz:  Correct quote attribution, appropriate use of multimedia inserts...wait...he's coming up to his closing paragraph.

Tom:  He appears to be finishing strong!  But look!  There's cat intereference!

Buzz:  That's all part of the game, Tom.  He has to keep his concentration here.  It looks like he scooped the cat off the keyboard and onto the floor and never skipped a beat.  OHHHHH!  But he mixed a metaphor there!  That's a major deduction, Tom!

Tom:  How big?

Buzz:  He started out with imagery of a haunting oboe solo and ended up with something about a Thighmaster.  That's going to be half a point at least.  But he's recovered now and is finishing with an airtight concluding sentence. 

Tom:  That's his specialty.  Will it be enough to propel him to gold?  Find out when we return.

(sigh)  A guy can dream, can't he?

--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)

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Oh, no!

Gratuitous and unsubstantiated slander of another blogger, and Henry Abbott at that! And not even a link to support the speculation!

Huge deduction!

Other people don't have as much practice at being wrong as I do -- HT, timbo

by jscot on Aug 22, 2008 1:13 AM PDT reply actions  

Oh, so that's substance...

…for your slanderous allegations?

Everything they say about blogs must be true after all. I’m so disillusioned.

You know what bald guys say — “No grass grows on a busy street”

You know how guys with hair respond — “Who’s been driving on your head?”

Other people don't have as much practice at being wrong as I do -- HT, timbo

by jscot on Aug 22, 2008 2:06 AM PDT up reply actions  

Wow

Dave, that’s hilarious! I got a dream for you… You and Ben covering Roy and Oden live from London 2012! Which brings me to the question…Could we potentially see the big 3 together in the Olympics by then?

It puts the lotion on the skin...or else it gets the hose!

by courtsideerrandboy on Aug 22, 2008 1:15 AM PDT reply actions  

Dave has just officially ushered-in the Dog Days of Summer

Asked his specialty in the kitchen, Oden paused and said, "Hamburger Helper and tuna fish."

by MiledAnimal on Aug 22, 2008 8:51 AM PDT reply actions  

synchronized typing

we are all over that

BRANDON ROY GET WELL SOON (SERIOUSLY DOG)

by Ben Golliver on Aug 22, 2008 9:29 AM PDT reply actions  

You kind of suspected when he was bald and had typing fingers the size of ripe zucchini.

Hilarious, Dave! Those zuccs can get HUGE!

You must pull out the comedy more often… maybe you and Ben can have a blocomedython or blaughoff or something where you do your thing all funny-like and we vote!

Blazers Edge... the blog that works.

by you'vegottomakeyourfreethrows on Aug 22, 2008 10:06 AM PDT reply actions  

shouldn't the year be 20*16*?

2014 is a winter Olympic year.

Boomshakalaka

by jksnake99 on Aug 22, 2008 10:50 AM PDT reply actions  

Basketball on skates would be awesome

Odenied: Asked whether he noticed Oden favoring his right knee, Frye dismissed it entirely. "He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors."

by Norsktroll on Aug 22, 2008 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

the 2014 Oly has already been awarded

to Sochi, Russia.

Rio is bidding for the 2016 summer games.

Boomshakalaka

by jksnake99 on Aug 22, 2008 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

2012 Olympics ?

      By the time 2012 rolls around USA Basketball will
just select the 3-peat NBA champion Portland Trailblazers
to represent the country. Hello Gold Medal

           COINCAST /DIRECTV /CHARTER NEED TO
                        GET A DEAL DONE !!! NOW !!!!!

It's GO time !

by walkoff41 on Aug 22, 2008 1:55 PM PDT reply actions  

Expect more all-caps from desperate Blazer fans

the closer we get to the start of preseason.

Asked his specialty in the kitchen, Oden paused and said, "Hamburger Helper and tuna fish."

by MiledAnimal on Aug 22, 2008 5:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

Abbott grew up in Portland, right?

Do you think he roots for the Blazers over the other teams?

--

by CaptainSexyJacob on Aug 22, 2008 8:58 PM PDT reply actions  

Dave, that was awesome.

Wait… he mixed his metaphors… a MAJOR DEDUCTION.

Cue the sideline report from Bill Walton:

“That’s just HORRRRIBLE blogging right there. The good people of Portland deserve better than this from Dave. I mean, where’s the DEDICATION??? If there would have been blogs in my day, you would have NEVER seen shoddy writing like that. Dr. Jack would have you running wind sprints all day long.”

by JelaniGNatural on Aug 23, 2008 2:00 AM PDT reply actions  

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