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Around SBN: Jerry Sandusky's Wife Tries To Run A Reporter Over

INCMNG/OTGNG BLZRS, 2nd Annual Edition!

This is all subject to frequent updates, but I'm going to write it based on current intel.

Star-divide

INCMNG:

Jerryd Bayless: From all indications you are the PG we needed, minus the fundamental pass-first style that defines a PG. Whatever, as long as you can lob 'oops to Oden I don't give a ----.

Nicholas Batum: "What? He's not white?" --that was my reaction when I first watched YouTube video of you this spring. Supposedly Hollinger thinks you're a bust. I'm sick of his smarmy baldness. Let's prove him wrong by having you learn to throw 'oops to Oden. Deal?

Omer Asik: Dear Fenerbahce Ulker, we promise not to take your big white stiff center until he's good and ready to throw 'oops to Oden. Love, Portland. UPDATE: Turns out we're never going to be taking your white stiff center, Fenerbahce! We got 3 FUTURE BULLS SECOND ROUND PICKS! Woot!

Clippers 2009 2nd Round Draft Pick: Have fun in 2008 playing for your college team/in the D-league/enjoying your time overseas. Don't forget to practice throwing 'oops so you'll be good and ready when you get here/get traded for other assets!

UPDATE: Ike Diogu. Man, two of you jumped me because I allegedly forgot to mention Asik got traded (which I did not, note the update) but nobody even noticed I COMPLETELY FORGOT about Ike Diogu. I would apologize to you, Ike, but something tells me you're kind of used to it.

OTGNG:

Jarrett Jack: I doubt you had the basic skills to lead this team to the next level. Still, I'm sorry you ended up in Indianapolis. Furthermore, in all the time you spent here your moustache never fully filled in. That joke was my ace in the hole. I miss it already.

Bob "McBob" McRoberts: I always had to be reminded you were still here, as in, someone would be all, "Is McBob in street clothes?" and I'd be like, "who?" and they'd be like, "Josh McRoberts. Our 13th man." Then I'd remember. Anyways, happy trails.

Brandon Rush: Your time in a Trailblazers hat was cherished. It will always look better than any Pacers hat. F'realz. And I think you know it, too. Sad.

Darrell Arthur: Watching you sweat in the green room was a treat, as was the constant speculation about what could be wrong with your kidneys. Well, now you and your problem kidneys are off to Houston. Allegedly. Just in case, I suggest you request a seat by the bathroom for the flight.

Joey Dorsey: Wait, you're gone, right? Or is it that Turkish guy? No, I'm pretty sure it's you. So, you know, good luck. Wherever it is you're going. (Sidenote: your choice to call out Oden in the NCAA's keeps biting you in the rear).

Mike Taylor: WHOA! Your draft-day picture looks like a mugshot. Next time you get kicked off your college team and end up in the D-league, smile for the camera, dude. You're not coming off real charismatic.

Paul Allen's Money: I bid you a fond adieu, for yet again you have been transubstantiated (through KP's sorcery) into valuable assets. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

 

Comment 28 comments  |  4 recs  | 

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Omer is not incoming

isn’t that the latest intel? I thought we got something like 3 draft picks for him, which sounds like a lot, but I thought that was the story.

by rmcdougall on Jun 26, 2008 10:06 PM PDT reply actions  

Asik

Traded to Chicago for 3 second rounders

Trail Blazers are really cool

by Outlaw is Rejector on Jun 26, 2008 10:11 PM PDT reply actions  

Best analysis ever

If this fanpost is not in the Oregonian tomorrow somebody needs to get fired.

President of the Petteri Koponen fan club.

by Sabonis4Ever on Jun 26, 2008 10:14 PM PDT reply actions  

Lol

“Note the update”

I gotta say that should go into 12sharks Pritchslap count. 3 picks for a 2nd Rounder who may never step foot on an NBA Court

Whats your ring size? 2010

by Gregory Roy Aldridge on Jun 26, 2008 10:17 PM PDT reply actions  

Looks like Batum this year!

Chad Ford said, “I spoke with Portland GM Kevin Pritchard tonight and he says he thinks Batum will actually sign with the Blazers this year.”

by spencerbutte on Jun 26, 2008 10:19 PM PDT reply actions  

he goes on to say that

batum rates miserably in hollinger’s euro rankings AND that arthur rated as the 5th best prospect overall! idk guys…i just dont know

other than this trade, another fantastical draft

"I'll play any day. I don't care if I'm 0-for-30, playing baseball is my PASSION. I'll go out and play." - Geo Soto

by CubbyBlues on Jun 26, 2008 10:26 PM PDT up reply actions  

You can only trust Hollinger as far as you can throw him

Which hopefully isn’t far. I want to see how this plays out. Apparently we traded questionable kidneys for a questionable heart. Only time will tell which one is a greater detriment to basketball skills.

BLZRS FRVR

by nightbluefruit on Jun 26, 2008 10:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

He said the Asic guy's stats translated to top 10 in this years draft

His stats were about seven points in the turkish league. I dont get hollinger.

President of the Petteri Koponen fan club.

by Sabonis4Ever on Jun 26, 2008 10:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

didn't hollinger also have Kevin Love as the number two guy in the draft

if he did that total bull..

Leaving this blank 'til I think of something funny

by Zaron5551 on Jun 26, 2008 10:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

I dislike Hollinger stats

Its like my dear mother and movies. If she likes something, I know not to watch it.

If Hollinger doesn’t like something, I’m sold.

by rmcdougall on Jun 26, 2008 11:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

Rebounds, blocks and 60% shooting

Hollinger is looking at per-minute stats, and Asic only averaged 19 minutes per game so most of his per game stats aren’t that impressive.

by trk on Jun 26, 2008 10:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

ties up a loose end

KP said we have 14 guys on the roster. by my count here http://www.blazersedge.com/2008/6/26/559782/roster-heading-into-the-su
we have 13, so Batum must be the missing guy.

by douglast on Jun 26, 2008 10:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

i have to admit

I’m a little curious about this too.

The fact both the spurs and the blazers were after this guy makes me feel a LOT better.

Ford: Bill, you're claiming victory already? Have you had a "Mission Accomplished" banner printed yet?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/draft2008/columns/story?page=DraftDebate-080624

by ratbastird on Jun 27, 2008 10:07 AM PDT up reply actions  

Darrell Arthur

A treat watching him sweat huh? It made me feel lousy. Wish we would have kept him. He would have been beholding to us for drafting him first round.

by TwoDeep on Jun 26, 2008 11:05 PM PDT reply actions  

Losing Arthur hurts

But this NB guy looks pretty legitimate. He holds his own with Joe Alexander in those draft workouts. I think you’ll see him as a bit of a Monta Ellis type of guy. Or maybe skinny dudes with big ears are naturally compared.

by rmcdougall on Jun 26, 2008 11:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

Blazers only net 3 players....

PG Jarryd Bayless
SF Nicolas Batum
PF Ike Diogu

Omer Asik was traded to Chicago for futures. That Mike Taylor dude was traded to the Clippers for futures.

So…

PG J.Bayless/S.Blake/S.Rodriguez/(P.Koponen)
SG B.Roy/R.Fernandez
SF M.Webster/T.Outlaw/N.Batum
PF L.Aldridge/C.Frye/I.Diogu
C G.Oden/J.Pryzbilla/RLEC

that is 15 Players folks… if we include Petteri Koponen. This squad looks nice.

by Portland Dynasty on Jun 26, 2008 11:56 PM PDT reply actions  

Except..

for having 4 PGs when 2 good ones would suffice. Ditto for 3/4/5.

"Well, Travis just showed us that we can go to Travis Outlaw." - Nate McMillan

by 12sharks on Jun 27, 2008 1:03 AM PDT up reply actions  

2 PGs

are futures. May work out, may not. Always good to have a couple guys like that around, at whatever position. Inexpensive, and can end up very valuable to us in a couple years.

Other people don't have as much practice at being wrong as I do -- HT, timbo

by jscot on Jun 27, 2008 3:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

Youth and Depth...

I agree that 2 good ones would suffice, but why put all our eggs in one basket?

KP and Nate now own the rights to enough players to really decide on a great 8 or 9 man rotation and still keep some other guys around for depth who won’t complain. We have loads of talented youth and depth, which is exciting.

Long-term, I don’t care if any of our assets lose trade value as long as we keep the right pieces IT WON”T MATTER AT ALL.

by Portland Dynasty on Jun 27, 2008 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions  

agreed

Also… i don’t really care much about that free agent. I think that’s a smoke screen too. Seriously… unless you’re tweaking for the sake of tweaking… who do we need now? We’ve got our pieces.

Ford: Bill, you're claiming victory already? Have you had a "Mission Accomplished" banner printed yet?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/draft2008/columns/story?page=DraftDebate-080624

by ratbastird on Jun 27, 2008 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions  

More trades are coming.

If somebody hits you with an object you should beat the hell out of them.-Charles Barkley

by Winchester on Jun 27, 2008 4:35 AM PDT reply actions  

The Suns

want Koponen. Barbosa would still be a nice veteran presence to have alongside Bayless. Plus we could use a guy who can really run the fast break… and not be 19 years old.

If somebody hits you with an object you should beat the hell out of them.-Charles Barkley

by Winchester on Jun 27, 2008 4:42 AM PDT reply actions  

OK....so we now have Bayless

PK, Steve Blake, and Sergio. I wonder if now it becomes time to grab good older point guard(Billups, A. Miller…ect) for mentoring role for Bayless. Just a random thought

GO says " Sir, you fornicated vertically…observe the consequences!

by 92wastheyear on Jun 27, 2008 7:53 AM PDT reply actions  

That's what Blake will be doing.

Ford: Bill, you're claiming victory already? Have you had a "Mission Accomplished" banner printed yet?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/draft2008/columns/story?page=DraftDebate-080624

by ratbastird on Jun 27, 2008 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions  

That makes sense

I just know we shoot down a lot of older PG trade scenerios based on age…and wondered if that idea had changed since JB was drafted

GO says " Sir, you fornicated vertically…observe the consequences!

by 92wastheyear on Jun 27, 2008 12:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

Batum is known for his D

Like any guy who is not a dynamite scorer/rebounder, he does poorly in PER (Hollinger’s stat system).

Hollinger also trashed Westbrook up and down prior to the draft, but I think he’ll be a solid pro.

Someday, someday, the geeks will be able to mathematically evaluate a player’s D…

by EngineerScotty on Jun 27, 2008 12:06 PM PDT reply actions  

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