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Final Thoughts on... Everything & Everyone

My Imaginary girlfriend insists that I take a break from Blazer'sEdge and you know I'm not messing with a girl that rides a flying unicorn. So I thought I'd better toss all my opinions out there. Princess Thundralina doesn't think I should keep things bottled up.  (until the draft when I sneak back for my fix.)

We have a great NBA Finals going on. There is really great basketball being played. I do hope that the ref scandal coming out now doesn't take away from it but further hope that the championship spot light helps to get everyone from the fan to the owners dedicated to doing everything possible to make sure that this great game is  legit and thus preserved.

The Players

1. Aldridge: I think anyone who wants to trade this guy is not seeing clearly. This guy is the real deal and will be a household name is a few years. The reason that I think he's so great is that rediculously solid mid range jumper. The reason Garnet is an superstar is not the blocks, rebounds and solid all around play he brings but it's because he can hit that jumper mid range jumper over and over. Most can't with such consistancy. Oden being around should leave LA wide open. He also has moves in the block so he's a real asset.

2. Outlaw: Do me one favor. Go onto Youtube and look at Blazer or Outlaw highlights. No do it now, I'll wait. ............See! He's awesome. I think we need a guy on the team who can bring that kind of ungodly athleticism. Not just because such dunks are so fun and exiting but because it's a varied weapon that we can bring against our opponents.

3. Jack: I'm much higher on Jack that many of you are. I think this is the year that he has to show that he's not going to make those same mistakes as consistantly as he has. I'm with you on that. I think he has improved every year and he has a good game sans the TO's. We don't have anyone else that is that aggressive toward the hoop. Nate's man-crush aside that's another weapon we need in the arsenal. If we trade him and even if we get a good point like Westbrook or whoever I think we'll be lacking something, at least for a year, without him.

4. Blake: What you see is what you get. He's solid. He's one of the few guys on the squad who doesn't look like he'll get better segnificantally. If he hits a few more of his open three point shots, his points with me jump up, as would our win total.

5. Sergio: Well let's finish with the point guards. Not sure if Nate used him right last year or not but the way Serg played in the last game of the season makes me think maybe he's ready to do what's required of him to take that next step in his game and wel'l see that that point guard we were going nuts about before last year IS the real deal. And he might possibly be the most exiting player on the team. ..... And don't piss him off by sticking him with the nickname "the Translator".

6. Rudy: Do we really have the best player in Europe coming over? I have no fear about getting exited about this guy. He might very well be the Manu Gin-OB-lee we all hope but with an extra notch known as his stone cold super jumper and fearless offense game. That's something we can all get behind.

7. Prizbilla: I'm certainly repeating myself and mirroring what others have said but I'm very sure this guy is the forth or fifth most untradeable player on the squad. At least before next year. He'll teach Oden, he'll protect Oden, he will allow Oden all the more freedom to learn and make mistakes and give it his all. After that, if we find a true legit back up we might have let him go when some team comes looking for a starting center of their own. He might want to stay, so he can stay on the championship express.

8. Webster: I wouldn't trade him before his senior season for anything. Anything not named LaBron Paul. How many college seniors don't really show their b ball greatness until their final year. Ever hear of Danny Manning before he near single handedly took Kansas all the way his senior year in college? Oh, well I hadn't.

9. Roy: Firstly it's pronounced wa. For those who don't know, that's an slightly obscure hockey reference and that last joke you'll get out of me. .... Roy is good. He's the glue guy. He's the couch on the floor. He plays the game right. I'll bet the players are more afraid to let Roy down than maybe even Nate. As for him being point guard I've tossed out the same arguments as most in that I don't think he can or should guard opposing super quick points or bring the ball up against the inevitable pressure D Opponents would bring.  But if Rudy is the 2nd coming of Rudy Fernandez* than maybe it can be done.

*Well who else can I compare him too but himself? He might turn out to be better than Dirk.

10. McRoberts and Von Wafer: It's a numbers game boys. Sorry, you're not likely to be on this team next year.

11. Frye: He's LaMarcus light. Which is scary when LA is already a little to light. ... I was kinda down on him. He's got a little game in his sure but he looked kinda like that okay guy you have at the end of your bench but not much more as he's probably hit his ceiling already. But then we see that last month of the season, well those with comcast did, and he looks like he might just be really really good NBA player. He's LaMarcus Insurance. I like insurance, I need insurance. (Obama? you listening?) Not much minutes for the Frye but he wants to stay. He likes it hear. He likes his teammates. Hey, I do to.

12. Jones: His mad shooting had to have been the #1 factor in our winning 13 games in a row. Then suddenly, he was pretty stinky. Was he hurt? Well he is a good player who brings a steady influence. It's up to him whether he signs with us again. He's certainly an asset.

13. LaFrenz: He may not get any time next year and might even be relegated to the IR with our numbers crunch. Midway through the season he'll prob be gone in a sexy trade for some needed piece. If not, at the end of it and WE get the sap space.

14. Draft: Sure I want Rose but I wouldn't gut the team to get him. So other than Rose I'd like a lock down Defensive guy. Westbrook seems to fill that bill. I'm hoping we move up and get him. But beyond that, in KP I trust.

15. Nate: Mr. Sonic is a good couch. I'm not sure he's a great one. He seems to lack imagination for me at times. But despite that, he might be the best couch for this team. His offense suddenly seemed unstoppable during the streak. It seems to require a healthy, deadly shooter to make it work. Now that we're adding even more weapons next year and then it's look out league. And they say the players love him. Heck that alone might be worth more than imagination. Still, I'm not worried, if he doesn't win a lease one ring in 3 years, 4 tops, you can be sure we'll have someone else at the reigns.

16. Koponan/Freeland: Do we really have the best Finish point guard? Cool. Well don't believe the hype on this guy. Wait, that's all we have to go on isn't it. Well until summer league. I want to see all the summer league games but fear I'll see none. This makes me sad. .... as for Freeland.....uh..... yes I would like some Free Land. Perhaps in Hawaii. Tom, can you help a brother out?

17. Wheels: I had said here on B.E. the other day that I think Wheels sucks. Well I take it back. He doesn't suck but some of the things he does makes it very hard for me to listen to games and as Comcast actually does suck, that's not good.

18. Oden. Lots of you, maybe most of you on this sight, are reserved and cautious  about how long you think it'll take for us to be legit contenders for the crown. Greg Oden instantly makes us contenders. He is going to, or has the real potential to be the greatest center.........wait for it....... EVER!. I'm not saying we will win it but I won't be all that shocked if we did. And if I was on when of them sports shows and they asked me to prognosticate on who's going to win it... I'd say Portland. I'm not saying it now no, I'm just saying if I was one, you know, on one of those shows.

And that's all that. Thanks for reading. Please leave any thoughts or comments below.

ps. Trailblazers in 6 over Boston.

2 recs  |  Comment 44 comments

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Actually

this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this story. Always makes me feel a little guilty too, like I’m some kind of pusher or something. If I ever get a new site I think I’m going to call it Blazercrack.com.

If it’s any consolation, today’s post is really more for your girlfriend than for you.

—Dave

by Dave on Jun 12, 2008 2:15 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

My wife keeps telling me that Blazers' Edge is the other woman.

But when I leave the comments up on the computer, I always come back later to find her reading them.

One of Two Official Blazer's Edge Poets Laureate for the 2008-2009 Season

Chaplain of the Jarrett Jack Fan Club

"Scholars have long known that fishing eventually turns men into philosophers. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to buy decent tackle on a philosopher's salary." - Patrick McManus

by T Darkstar on Jun 12, 2008 4:41 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Would that be a menage a trois?

"Besides, AnntheFan will be here any minute to #25 you." T Darkstar

by annthefan on Jun 12, 2008 4:49 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I used to say

That I was naked during games to keep the streak going. My wife saw a game day thread where I said I just took of my pants. She hasn’t been back to Blazers Edge since then.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 12, 2008 5:16 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Becaue of what you said...

.. or because you took your pants off?

by timg56 on Jun 12, 2008 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Because of what I said

I think she thought BE was a swingers site.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 12, 2008 12:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Oh

Not that we’re swinger or that I look at swinger sites. If I did, she’d kill me. Is there a Blazers swinger site?

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 12, 2008 12:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Oh Man - Don't read this if you don't like cheaters or naughty stuff

Do I have a story for you. I am on a midnight to 8am shift. My normal coworker went on vacation for three weeks and another guy is working the shift with me. We don’t do much on the shift, because no one is awake to report trouble.

Anyhow, the guy chats non stop on Yahoo on his work PC, and he brought a laptop to work. I started to bring my laptop to work too, because I can check the YouTube links people put up on here. (We have wireless in our office.) My coworker was double dipping and chatting on his laptop and his work PC. He left for a bit and I looked at his laptop and he was in a chat room on Adult Friend Finder. He is married and I wrote down his handle. I came home and signed up for a free account and he has a photo of his penis next to a toilet paper roll as his profile. I couldn’t read his entire profile because I didn’t pay, but his headline was about cunnilingus. I made sure to tell my wife and all my friends though.

Seriously, who is that dumb? Chatting on an adult website at work? And who compares their dumaflicky to a toilet paper roll?

I think this might be the naughties post I’ve posted here. I think I managed to stay within the rules.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 13, 2008 3:25 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nope

I just blew up a hospital because of what you wrote, way to go.

If it was a paper towel roll, then I’d be like wow, I’d like to (self edited for good reasons).

That was a funny story.

Mortimer

by Mortimer on Jun 13, 2008 4:06 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hmmm. From a mans perspective, do you suppose there are actually women who

would find that sort of behavior titillating or attractive? I’d give that a resounding no but, what would I know, I’m a woman. I would only think the guy was an immature and puerile, slightly deviant loser. Ask him how much action he gets. Probably none or less. Waiting with bated breath for your replies.

"Besides, AnntheFan will be here any minute to #25 you." T Darkstar

by annthefan on Jun 13, 2008 5:13 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I've never been sure what to believe

when a woman says size does not matter. My guess is that to some it does and to others, not. There are other factors involved, so I don’t worry about it.

Of course that hasn’t stopped me from practicing licking my eyebrows every evening before bed.

by timg56 on Jun 13, 2008 8:08 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Size helps and women are kind with the "doesn´t matter".

Tough the most powerful sexual tool is the brain.

The Midnight Rambler

by amlmart1 on Jun 13, 2008 8:36 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ideally the brain

But more realistically it’s the wallet.

by Sabonis4Ever on Jun 13, 2008 12:06 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I was always told

That woman associate toilet paper rolls with the most errogenous zones of the female body.

Thus, associating male appendages with cardboard rolls gets the “woman wanting him more than anything’ if you get my drift (I by that I mean she wants to sleep with him and put his dinghy in her hoo hah).

I refuse to believe I was told incorrectly because it has served me well thus far.

And if it wasn’t true, then I’d think this guy gets a lot more attention from lame-a-zoids like himself rather than pretty ladies. TomInHawaii, are you sure he wasn’t talking to others like himself and speaking of the love that which not knoweth a name of itself and thy cannot speaketh it?

If size matters, how would I be engaged? Oh, that’s right—she left me for a sack of toilet paper rolls that were left in the bathroom garbage :-( I forgot about that until just now.

Guys, if you don’t pass the TP roll tube test, it’s just a matter of time till she breaks your heart.

Mortimer :-(

by Mortimer on Jun 13, 2008 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nah, he's just nuts

He’s over 300 lbs so I think online he can say he’s 170. I don’t know what he’s thinking. I have a feeling he’ll get in trouble sooner or later. The women in our office are mean.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 13, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Tom's not kidding.

If I recall correctly, his wife is Korean. Korean women rank up there with Greek and Latina women on the list of women you don’t want to piss off and you certainly don’t want to cheat on. If you are lucky, you just get Bobbitized. If you are not, you die a slow and horribly painful death.

by timg56 on Jun 13, 2008 8:03 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah

Khara’s Korean and I wouldn’t call her jealous but she has a mean streak. One time, back in Eugene, we went to Joggers for some $10 drink thing and got a little drunk. We walked out and she forgot her jacked, so she went back in to get it. While she was in there a hot woman walked up to me and kind of cornered me. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but what I do remember is Khara coming around the corner and seeing me with the woman. The woman turned around and said, “I’m just a drunk slut.” Khara said, “You’re f-ing right you are.” Then Khara spit on her.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 13, 2008 1:22 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That's how the Korean War started

You’re lucky it didn’t escalate.

Mortimer

by Mortimer on Jun 13, 2008 2:23 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I ended up sleeping on the coach (Ha get it?)

Khara thought I was kissing the woman. I was mad that she thought I was dumb enough to try to make out with a woman when I only had about a 20 second window to do so. I thought she was insulting my intelligence.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 13, 2008 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You take it wrong.

She wasn´t insulting you. She was giving you a lot of credit for being able to get a relationship , kiss and a possible trade offer in only 20 second window.

The Midnight Rambler

by amlmart1 on Jun 13, 2008 9:52 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Did you have your mullet then?

If so this story is hardly believable unless you really are Tom Selleck and you had Higgins rolling with you in the Ferrari.

I imagine that Higgins is a stellar wingman.

Life is exhausting when you are this stupid.

by jonestr on Jun 13, 2008 9:31 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Oh Heck No

The mullet was only here because I just don’t care. There are a ton of Chinese guys here and they have some thing where they think there is some sort of power in their hair, so there are mullets everywhere. There is a guy in the office next to mine that looks like Goliath from Gargoyles. That story is from about 8 years and 20 lbs ago.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 13, 2008 9:41 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Tom

You know of Thundercats and Gargoyles. You might have to move in with me after all.

by Sabonis4Ever on Jun 13, 2008 10:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love how Ed Asner

Is the voice of Hudson.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 14, 2008 1:39 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'll pretend like she has read it.

If there was a Blazercrack.com your first guest would have to be Mo Cheeks.

by Blazersaurus on Jun 12, 2008 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Good post. Especially the part about Travis. ;)

"Besides, AnntheFan will be here any minute to #25 you." T Darkstar

by annthefan on Jun 12, 2008 2:19 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Ha.

Guess who’s on the Travis bandwagon now?

; P

by Blazersaurus on Jun 12, 2008 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Great read!

I have long been an advocate of the wait and see school of blazerdom. We are adding 2 first round picks this year, possibly 3, and with a minimum of roster disturbance. We have the potential to field a 12 man roster with minimal drop off from the bench. To take the cake out of the oven early (unnecessary trades) would be to invite disaster. As fans we owe it to ourselves to view our team from this perspective.
Are we going to win a Title this year? Short of several critical injuries to several teams at critical times, not likely.
Is it worth the terrific team chemistry and potential to try and win it all now? Not likely to happen with who is available in the draft trade scenarios I have seen here.

That said, Have faith young Jedi and listen to the force :-) . Our best year in many is just ahead of us…believe in the
Fernandez
Oden
Roy
LamarCus
MartEll

by coastrider on Jun 12, 2008 2:25 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I'm a renter

I can’t help you with the land. I can’t help it, I gotta point out that you called Nate a good couch. It was a fun read though.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 12, 2008 4:14 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Also...

he called Roy a “couch on the floor.” Ironically, I cant think of a better way to verbalize the calming influence he brings to the court, so it works!

by Devenex on Jun 12, 2008 9:29 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Awesome

That inspired me to sleep on my couch when I get off work soon.

"lowest common denominator - every time I think you hit rock bottom you sink it deeper into the shale" -- bow4meow

by tominhawaii on Jun 12, 2008 9:36 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Usually I am the one who points out

Couch/Coach type mistakes. I decided to pass on this one (this one time) and looks what happens

"My favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. Us kids would visit him in his cave. He would eat one of us from time to time. It wasn't till years later that we realized Uncle Caveman was a bear"

Jack Handy

by 92wastheyear on Jun 12, 2008 5:38 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Amen on all of it

And by that I mean you said it right and it is all true and I concur wholeheartedly and I pray that the Creator of your GF’s unicorn makes it stay true forever.

I also hope that KP keeps the current squad intact, yes including Jack and Frye. The only trade I’d consider involves trading Sergio/Wafer/LaFrentz/McBob or some combination thereof in order to move up in the draft and grab one of the talented PG draftees.

Hadn’t heard the insight about Nate’s lack of imagination. Now that I think about it, though, I have to say you’re right on the money. That is probably his greatest shortcoming.

Nature bats last.

by fisheyes on Jun 12, 2008 8:30 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I think he's just not gimmicky

He doesn’t like gimmicky Nelly-ball lineups, but with his in-game adjustments and how good we were out of timeouts, I doubt Nate lacks imagination. He just doesn’t like gimmicky tricks, I think, and for good reason: they don’t work in the long run.

I much prefer he is more traditional—strong defense, strong post play, score fast if there but work the halfcourt for the BEST shot if not. It’s been a winning combo since the beginning of time.

Mortimer

by Mortimer on Jun 12, 2008 12:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Jack has to go

The best reason to keep Jarrett (he penetrates and gets to the foul line) is duplicated by Fernandez. Jack will pout if his PT is reduced (which it will be, with Rudy) But McMillian will try to squeeze Jack into the rotation because he sees a potential young “Nate” every time he looks at Jarrett

KP, make all of the above go away on draft day

by two4larue on Jun 12, 2008 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

This is one of the best posts ever

u r a smart boy.

That which prematurely arrives at perfection soon perishes. - Marcus Fabius Quintilian (35-95AD) Roman Rhetorician, Critic

by BlazerFan1 on Jun 12, 2008 11:13 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

No criticism of the post....

... but I do strongly advise you go out and find a real girlfriend. Having an imaginary one, whether she flys unicorns or not, is not a good sign.

by timg56 on Jun 12, 2008 11:42 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I have found my true love and lost her

But I haven’t given up and though there is little hope there is hope.

I will have to brake with the Princess but I imagine she’ll understand.

by Blazersaurus on Jun 13, 2008 11:49 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Roy

being the couch on the floor threw me off….......until I got to Nate’s section.

Witty Unpredictable Talent and Natural Game

by iDea on Jun 12, 2008 11:58 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

So when Oden hurt his knee getting off the couch...

Maybe it was just another typo and he was getting off of Nate?

Nate is a harsh taskmaster, so it makes sense the knee would get hurt so badly.

“Microfracture” is just that subcultures slang for… stuff.

Mortimer

by Mortimer on Jun 12, 2008 12:52 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I was more interested in the content of what I said than the humor I peppered throughout. And all that spell checking just to miss couch/coach.

Whatev…

Go Blazer Dynasty.

Free of scandal and corruption.

Awe Due

by Blazersaurus on Jun 13, 2008 11:52 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

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