Karl Malone Is A Piece Of Poo
by damir on May 1, 2008 1:00 PM PDT
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If you never heard of Buffalo Bills rookie offensive tackle Demetrius Bell, you’ll be rooting for him when I tell you his story.
Bell was a seventh-round draft pick and two-year starter at Northwestern State, the same Louisiana school that produced cornerback Terrence McGee.
Bell is the son of Malone, but the Mailman had no role in Bell’s success except passing along athletic genes.
The two have had very little contact during Bell’s life. His mother, Gloria Bell, reportedly was only 13 years old and Malone a college sophomore at Louisiana Tech when Demetrius was born. Malone might have served jail time had her family asked the district attorney to file criminal charges.
Bell didn’t even know Malone was his father until after graduating from high school. When they finally met, Malone told the 18-year-old Bell it was too late to be his father, and that Bell would have to “earn his money on his own.”
“All of that’s behind me right now,” Bell said during a conference call Sunday. “I feel good I made it this far. Nothing against him, but I feel good at this time. If he would’ve been there, yeah, it would’ve been good. But if not, it’s even better. Everything is a plus right now.”
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Holy mother of wow.
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I second the motion
not that the news could lower my opinion of him any more as it is at my lowest rung already. Perhaps a new circle of hell shall be created, the dreaded Malone region.
As opposed to what?
Can a piece of poo NOT be slimy and stinky?
[ maybe shouldn’t go there ]
Blazers have a five-on-three...and they pull it back and wait for help.
Too late.
A question deserves a response ….
Yes, I think one can have a relatively non-slimy, non-stinky piece of poo. My dogs deposit these all the time. Obviously there will always be some stink associated with a piece of poo, but sometimes it’s worse than others. I think it depends on what you eat … like broccoli vs. Taco Bell …
I’m just saying that on the scale of poo, Mr. Malone is more toward the slimy/stinky end …
Well, I like cheese.
Cheese, and bacon, too.
Eggs are nice.
Maybe Karl Malone’s nickname should have been “Hot”.
Blazers have a five-on-three...and they pull it back and wait for help.
Su-WEET.
I wasn’t sure if anyone got it.
Thanks for the confirmation.
I expect Dave to yank the entry, though.
If I were him, I would.
Blazers have a five-on-three...and they pull it back and wait for help.
You Kids
I have a Tenacious D shirt that says “Cleveland Steamers” on the front. I get asked about it a lot when I were it in public.
Mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe), mahna mahna, (ba debe dee), mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe badebe badebe dee dee de-de de-de-de)
where
Mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe), mahna mahna, (ba debe dee), mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe badebe badebe dee dee de-de de-de-de)
They say that a Championship is the only major achievement absent in his career.
That along with being a man, a father, and a respectable human being!
Didn't he join the Lakers in 03-04 to try and win a Championship?
Just another reason for why I hate the Lakers soooooooooo much!
I've heard this story before
He’s also the father of Cheryl Ford, the WNBA player, whom he didn’t speak to until she was in college.
Witty Unpredictable Talent and Natural Game
LOL
Diputado A: Su Señoría da una en clavo y cien en herradura.
Diputado B: porque su Señoría no se está quieto.
Maybe he has a really high opinion of himself and he's practicing eugenics.
"We comin along." Travis Outlaw
I wonder if he has brain.
I would recommend immediate lobothomy!”
Diputado A: Su Señoría da una en clavo y cien en herradura.
Diputado B: porque su Señoría no se está quieto.
Malone
He is obviously a piece of excrement, but in his defense he did drop that hilarious “hunting for little mexican girls” line on K*be’s wife. So hes got that going for him
"So he's got that going for him."
Which is nice.
Blazers have a five-on-three...and they pull it back and wait for help.
Background
Malone made a pass at K*be’s wife a couple years back.
Malone’s agent, Dwight Manley, told the Los Angeles Times on Sunday that Malone was asked by Vanessa Bryant, “Hey, cowboy, what are you hunting?” in reference to Malone wearing a cowboy hat and boots.“She said it twice,” Manley said, “and Karl answered, ‘I’m hunting for little Mexican girls.’ “
What a sleezey dude...
KM: Hey little girl, want to play house?
13yrOldChild: No thank you… sir.
KM: I know. How about we play I be the mailman.
13yrOldChild: Oh. That’s different. Okay.
KM: Mmmm, maybe I better keep that name.
Is there really a statute of limitations on that sort of thing?
Karl Malone...
is the Ted Nugent of the NBA.
by EngineerScotty on May 1, 2008 3:42 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Dang
He’s a crappier dad than Darth Vader.
Mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe), mahna mahna, (ba debe dee), mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe badebe badebe dee dee de-de de-de-de)
you got Darth all wrong
together Luke and Vader would have ruled some galaxy far far away, but on planet earth Karl Malone is a borderline sociopath
If you dont talk to your cats about catnip, who will?
Yeah
I don’t know much about Star Wars, I’m more of a The Last Starfigher or Enemy Mine kind of guy. I love it when people do impersonations of Karl Malone.
Mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe), mahna mahna, (ba debe dee), mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe badebe badebe dee dee de-de de-de-de)
if you are referring to B movies
neither of those selections make my top 50 but I did like the scaly green effects they plastered on Enemy Mine… Now Im puzzled why you would equate Darth with Karl Malone when you dont know diddly about the force?
If you dont talk to your cats about catnip, who will?
Easy
They are both dead beat dads. I remember that much.
Mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe), mahna mahna, (ba debe dee), mahna mahna, (ba dee bedebe badebe badebe dee dee de-de de-de-de)
cant agree
you can question Darth Vader’s ways, but his means were applaudable. He wanted to bond with Luke, and together they would have defeated the emperor, but re-active attachment disorder kicked in with Luke and he just couldnt bond. Karl Malone on the other hand, has either outright failed to claim responsibilty for one kid, and reluctantly “accepted” the twin package. Use the force Tom.
If you dont talk to your cats about catnip, who will?
Tom is not interested about those storys of fight for power.
Tom is more like Tom Bombadil. He is the Master of humor, making his Goldberry Khara laugh, and also his friends by the way. Nobody owns Tom and Tom can joke about “what even Gandalf thought so periously important”.
When we are in danger because the sadness comes, we only need to say:
“Old Tom in Hawaii is a merry fellow;
Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow”.
For meat´s wolf, teeth of dog.
Well there go his chances for a career in politics.
Ummmm…then again….
It's pretty rare
that reading something on The Edge makes my stomach turn.
Congrats Karl.
My ignorance is my greatest weapon
I learned to hate Kruel Moron back when he, Joan Stinkton and the Jazz gang...
used to make life miserable for my beloved Blazers. In the past I never cared to pay any attention to the personal life of those $#@x%x^*. So now here I am being subjected to the knowledge that Kruel Moron is an even lower excuse for a life form than I previously believed. I really didn’t think that was possible. Calling him a piece of poo is an insult to the piece of poo. I just hope that you have the good sense to apologize the piece of poo.
LMA's reign as "LaMonster of the Low Post" has just begun!
Gonna have to quibble
I always felt that Stockton (a semi-local boy given he was born in Spokane and went to Gonzaga) was a good egg. The man had fundamentals that I’d kill to see some of our players have.
by DonkeyShins on May 1, 2008 8:15 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I never said that John Stockton wasn't insanely talented or skillfull or a great player...
but the way I see it if I can hate all Lk*rs just for being Lkrs, then I can also hate all Jzz player just for J*zz players.
LMA's reign as "LaMonster of the Low Post" has just begun!
The one thing I hate about the new blog programming is this business of...
those stupid * causing type to go bold. I am a web developer so I know for a fact that there is no excuse for it. It needs to be fixed – PERIOD.
LMA's reign as "LaMonster of the Low Post" has just begun!
I was at that playoff game in '99.
The game 6 thingy where he gave Brian Grant stitches.
THAT house . . . was ROCKING.
Especially when they showed Stockton’s kid crying on the Jumbotron.
I still have mixed feelings about that detail.
And then he wiped his nose, I thought “Pick and roll”, and it was all good.
Blazers have a five-on-three...and they pull it back and wait for help.
yea like that PU grad student told Fred Flinstone
“you sir, are the lowest form of whale blubber in the oceans depths”
If you dont talk to your cats about catnip, who will?
I love the title of this post
I’m tempted to “recommend” it for that reason alone. I want to see “Karl Malone is a Piece of Poo” everytime I got to Blazersedge for the next couple of weeks.
"We don't back down to nobody." --Joel Przybilla
Speaking of Mr. Poo...
In the ‘86-’87 playoffs, my hometown Warriors were thoroughly whipped by Bluto (as I called him) and his Jazz in the first two games of a playoff series (played in Salt Lake City). But at the end of Game 2, the Big Bully couldn’t resist rubbing it in, so he tossed a ball in Greg Ballard’s face. Instead of meekly taking it, Ballard responded by fighting Malone, and the whole complexion of the series changed.
In the course of that fight, the Warriors’ coach, George Karl, got hit by a Utah fan, then chased him down, and the Warriors rallied behind the incident. It was very reminiscent of the famous Dawkins/Lucas fracas that turned the ‘77 Blazers/ ‘76ers series around. The Warriors came back to win four straight and shock the Jazz, with Malone clanging shot after shot and being dominated on the boards by Larry “Mr. Mean” Smith. Malone had stirred up a hornet’s nest, and he ended up totally humiliated. Oh, how sweet that was!
"We don't back down to nobody." --Joel Przybilla
Great story...
4 straight to trash the Jazz – its a beautiful thing. KM klanking is a beautiful thing also. Thank you for sharing this hurryup09.
LMA's reign as "LaMonster of the Low Post" has just begun!
My pleasure
I still have a video of the last game of that series, I believe. That and the game where little Sleepy Floyd dropped 29 on the Lkers in the 4th quarter of a playoff game. I’m a Blazer fan now, but those glorious Warriors moments are still to be treasured. One thing Warriors fans share with Blazer fans: hatred of the Jazz & Lkers.
P.S. Thinking about it, that series vs the Jazz was probably a 5-game series. Which of course makes coming back from 0-2 even more remarkable.
"We don't back down to nobody." --Joel Przybilla
Weird
When I hit the asterisk key (to avoid spelling out the name of the hated Tinseltown team), I got “bold” instead. I think another poster had referred to this problem. We need a fix, here. Either that, or just start referring to ‘em as the Fakers.
"We don't back down to nobody." --Joel Przybilla
I've been calling 'em the L[xxx]rs.
Just gotta avoid asterisks altogether.
Blazers have a five-on-three...and they pull it back and wait for help.
Maybe this is a good thing
It can free us up to create lots of new, insulting names for the hated ballclub. The hated ballclub who, BTW, is looking more and more like the next NBA champion. Arrgghh!!
"We don't back down to nobody." --Joel Przybilla
I really like this line of thinking!
Fakers or Fxxxrs is easy and it works, but I am having difficulty coming up with a satisfactory re-name for the Jxzz.
Help me out here.
LMA's reign as "LaMonster of the Low Post" has just begun!
Crap!
wwfd?
(what would fatty do?) – those symbols were like half his posts!
Ball Don't Lie
by bothteamsplayedhard on May 2, 2008 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions
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