FanPost

A non-finals fantasy for next year.

I just had to throw this one down to all of you, especially tonight. It's not the finals or a championship,
so it doesn't really belong in that thread, even though that's what got me thinking this.

Anyway . . .

[Marv Albert]: Well, the L[xxx]rs are down by one, no timeouts, eleven ticks on the clock.
Kobe on the wing . . . Roy gives him no shot, but Kobe drives, gets around Roy . . .
he's going up for the dunk, but Oden is there . . . Oden rises to meet him--

AND ODEN BLOCKS THE SHOT! AND OH MY GOODNESS KOBE'S HEAD COMES OFF!  
ODEN JUST TORE IT CLEAN OFF WITH THE BALL! HE BLOCKED THE BALL INTO KOBE'S FACE AND JUST KEPT GOING!

And now Kobe . . . oh, lord, this is sad. Kobe's body is on all fours, searching for his head.
The head's at the top of the key, yelling at his body, nobody else knows what to do, the L[xxx]rs are all frozen.
Kobe's head just rolled across the 3-point arc--looks like he wants to shoot.
Yes, he's yelling for the ball, says he's wide open . . . the body is just wandering around aimlessly, like Zach Randolph on defense.

Meanwhile, Portland took the ball the other way for an easy fast break basket,
Los Angeles calls the timeout, and the coaches and medical staff have retrieved Kobe's head and body, separately.
Phil Jackson has Kobe's head in his arms, Kobe's head is yelling at Bynum,
Phil's whispering some sort of mantra into Kobe's ear, over and over.
And the L[xxx]rs staff is leading Kobe's body toward the locker room;
he's walking just fine, the knee doesn't seem to be bothering him at all, really.
Some weird sorts of wires and sparks seem to be coming out of his neck--
we've got our sideline reporter, Isiah Thomas, down by the L.A. bench--Isiah, what's going on down there?

[Isiah Thomas]: We have word that Kobe's pinkie is all right. John?

[Marv]: Oooooo . . . kay.

[color man C-Webb]: And Marv, as it turns out, L.A. was actually out of timeouts when they called that one.
There's an injury stoppage anyway, of course, but--what an awful, stupid, boneheaded mistake to make.