Dear Mr. Luftman

by Lizzy Lowblow on Apr 18, 2008 9:10 PM PDT

Dear Mr. Luftman,

The end of this great Portland Trail Blazer season brings a time of reflection. The first thing that comes to mind is the wonderful experience of watching the Trail Blazer games. You have been a wonderful conduit to this experience.

            Your Pre-Game introductions have set the tone for my viewing experience. Your recaps of the previous games bring me up to date, adding to the excitement of what is to come. This tantalizes me and makes it so hard to wait for the game to begin.

            I iniquitously await the Half time break. I am in anticipation of your understanding of what has taken place before my eyes. Your wise understanding and explanations of what I have seen, lead me to a better understanding of this great game of Professional Basketball.

            My enjoyment is enhanced and better understood with your expert guidance. I always look forward to your Post-Game recaps, finding this the most rewarding experience of the night.

            I am looking forward again, to next year. I hope that CSN will be available to me on the Oregon coast. I have only been able to indulge in this enhanced experience during the few KGW broadcasts in my area. Eagerly awaiting the 2008 – 2009 season with you.

Respectively,

Elizabeth Lowblow, Your friend on the Bay

A debt owed. I'm drunk nuff to write. This must satisfy Timbo. I dun wanna drink no mo' PERIOD

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Fire when ready

Now write a real mean one for Michael Holton (Bolton?). Exactly the same only mean.

"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss" Robert A. Heinlein

by 92wastheyear on Apr 18, 2008 9:14 PM PDT reply actions

What's the bet, bud?

Who does the deed needs to at least excite me for a night (or two). Do it while I’m Drunk, it is now or never (maybe not, I am easy).

"Lenny Suckerpunch Never bet on me" - Elizabeth "The Lizzard" Lowblow

by Lizzy Lowblow on Apr 18, 2008 9:19 PM PDT up reply actions

You need some more details, Lizzy

I think the first game thread where the bet was made had some nice sample prose for Mr. Luftman.

I don't think you should send it regardless.  I'm sure he already gets snarky letters.  It's kind of fun here, but no need to actually send it to him. That's just mean.

by Section323 on Apr 18, 2008 9:28 PM PDT reply actions

okay, that's weird

it seems to think I’m quoting from the previous thread. Too smart for its own good.

Anyway, I don’t think you should actually send anything too him. That’s just mean.

by Section323 on Apr 18, 2008 9:30 PM PDT up reply actions

I have not intended to send Mr. Luftman anything mean. If I have, please help me, as that was not the intent of the bet to my understading. However there as been a bias established here. If there is a desire to express our appreciation of Mr. Luftman’s work, now is our chance. I personally have no grudge. I would rather see him 82 times a year, ratjer than 8. I usually eat during half time anyway and enjoy a break from the game.

"Lenny Suckerpunch Never bet on me" - Elizabeth "The Lizzard" Lowblow

by Lizzy Lowblow on Apr 18, 2008 9:44 PM PDT up reply actions

the problem being that Tony cannot be completely oblivious to public sentiment

therefore I think he would interpret an overly nice letter as sarcasm.
Maybe you should just write: Hey Tony, I don’t think you’re as bad as everyone says. In fact, I kind of like you. Plus, when I see you, it means that I’m actually watching the Blazers on TV.

by Section323 on Apr 18, 2008 9:54 PM PDT up reply actions

I agree with Section323. If timbo wants to be mean let him be mean. You are lovable Lizzy and you aren't mean.

by annthefan on Apr 18, 2008 10:00 PM PDT up reply actions

Way to cruel

by TwoDeep on Apr 19, 2008 7:15 AM PDT up reply actions

I'm getting the feeling you think this...

...letter is a lil’ on the mean side.

I kinda like the simple note of appreciation Section323 suggested.

"Lenny Suckerpunch Never bet on me" - Elizabeth "The Lizzard" Lowblow

by Lizzy Lowblow on Apr 18, 2008 10:02 PM PDT reply actions

I do too.

by annthefan on Apr 18, 2008 10:07 PM PDT up reply actions

It's Nice

To be nice.

I am tominhawaii, the Ever-Living. By the power of Greyskull, I forever battle the Lizakers.

by tominhawaii on Apr 18, 2008 10:22 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm not all that nice. I just have a sometimes unfortunate habit

of jumping to the defense of the underdog.

by annthefan on Apr 18, 2008 11:19 PM PDT up reply actions

I think

That is from your hippie gene.

I am tominhawaii, the Ever-Living. By the power of Greyskull, I forever battle the Lizakers.

by tominhawaii on Apr 19, 2008 12:21 AM PDT up reply actions

You have a good memory Mr. inHawaii.

by annthefan on Apr 19, 2008 1:07 AM PDT up reply actions

Oh

That’s ‘cuz I never forget a hippie. Hippies are funny, I like the ones I like but I’m scared of large groups of hippies.

By the power of Greyskull, I am tominhawaii, the Ever-Living.

by tominhawaii on Apr 19, 2008 1:12 AM PDT up reply actions

I'm scared of large groups.

by annthefan on Apr 19, 2008 1:21 AM PDT up reply actions

That is why I work at night. Fewer groups.

by annthefan on Apr 19, 2008 1:24 AM PDT up reply actions

I used to be that way

Then I realized that there is a lot of anonymity in crowds.

By the power of Greyskull, I am tominhawaii, the Ever-Living.

by tominhawaii on Apr 19, 2008 1:25 AM PDT up reply actions

Lizzy, you listen to him on the radio?

I don’t get Comcast, so much of my Luftman exposure has been on the radio. He’s notso badso there. Last night, he was kinda sorta charming, in a giggly sort of way. Plus, my cat is scared to death of the Mikes (she hides in the crawlspace during KGW broadcasts) but she doesn’t mind Tony. That should count for something.

by Corvid on Apr 18, 2008 10:24 PM PDT reply actions

Isn't it Michael Holton on the radio?

or is Tony there, too?

by Section323 on Apr 18, 2008 10:26 PM PDT up reply actions

Tony is there

On the radio you can’t see his cheesy smile or notice his obnoxiousness as much. My favorite blazers broadcaster is MB by far though.

If all I'm remembered for is being a good basketball player, then I've done a bad job with the rest of my life. - Isiah Thomas

by JTDuck22 on Apr 18, 2008 10:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Luftman's eyebrows = really creepy

by raoulduke on Apr 19, 2008 9:09 AM PDT up reply actions

I have watched the KGW broadcasts

All eight of ‘em, I think. That is my only experience. I don’t pay that much attention to anoucers other than TNT’s, which I enjoy.

"Lenny Suckerpunch Never bet on me" - Elizabeth "The Lizzard" Lowblow

by Lizzy Lowblow on Apr 18, 2008 10:43 PM PDT up reply actions

Leave the guy alone

He did at least a decent job, and I really think you guys give him a hard time whether sarcastic or straight faced. We’ve had much worse in the past, and at least the guy trys, and has decent knowledge of the team.

I doubt you, Lizzy, would do a better job, so give the guy a chance to improve, he’s had a full season to do so, and deserves at least 1 more.

Everytime Raef checks into a game, an angel gets its wings.

by Outlaw is Rejector on Apr 19, 2008 12:23 AM PDT reply actions

Yeah! For some reason

I think he did a better job after coming back from the break he took. Maybe he went to school? And I like Michael Holton. He has a good understanding of the game and is funny. The only thing that bothers me about him is the feces-eating grin he musters for the camera.

by TwoDeep on Apr 19, 2008 7:23 AM PDT up reply actions

He is

The Rodney Dangerfield of Blazer coverage.

not really.

Juan Dixon Owes Me $5 Dollars.

by Outlaw is Rejector on May 14, 2008 1:41 AM PDT up reply actions

Actually

He is awful. And does not have a “decent knowledge of the team.” He was the low point of this past season and I hope to GOD he is gone next season.

TROUT

by BigCelPhone on Apr 19, 2008 1:10 AM PDT reply actions

Lizzy lost a bet

whereby he must write a fan letter to Mr Luftman.
However, it was a silly bet, that he could be predicted to lose, so I can’t remember why he accepted it in the first place.

by Section323 on Apr 19, 2008 1:36 AM PDT up reply actions

Lizzy is an honorable Lizzard and does not renege on his bets.

by annthefan on Apr 19, 2008 1:52 AM PDT up reply actions

I was given ten pts...

...during the 3rd quarter. The Blazers fought back like I knew they would and lost by 12. It was close and made the game selfishly more exciting for me. That was my reward at this cost.

Such is gambling

"Lenny Suckerpunch Never bet on me" - Elizabeth "The Lizzard" Lowblow

by Lizzy Lowblow on Apr 19, 2008 5:46 AM PDT up reply actions

It was a good bet...

................................. pretty much an even-odds proposition. I can’t remember the game, but it was tied at halftime or early in the 3rd Q and I bet the Blazers would lose by 10 and they lost by 12. But it was back and forth on the 10 point margin, quite entertaining, actually…

"You don't live by the jumpshot, you die by the jumpshot." ---Charles Barkley, 2/7/08

by timbo on Apr 19, 2008 12:33 PM PDT up reply actions

Less catch phrases

I say, if he and Michael Holton just did a few less attempts at trying to establish a catch phrase (such as “tell ‘em what they won”), they would do a lot better.

Just be yourselves, you big sillies!

They have both been good in different situations; on the radio, with a different co-host, etc. There is no reason they can’t be good together, but I think they want to make it a ESPN-style show but it comes across as cheesy and over-thought.

Jus’ talk Blazers, recap what happened, give your thoughts, but no, and I mean ZERO, repeat catch phrases. Let them organically form if you think you need a catch phrase, and I’ll let ya know right now you don’t need a catch phrase.

Both guys are likeable in other productions they’ve been a part of. I think they just force it a bit. I think it’ll be a good show in time, and everyone will forget the rough edges in the beginning.

Mortimer

by Mortimer on Apr 19, 2008 2:08 AM PDT reply actions

Thanks Mortie

Constructive feedback would be the most helpful thing to do for Mr. Luftman. The kind of thing a brave, true fan of his could do.
Being neither a true fan or hater but rather an ignorer of Mr. Luftman (as I found little of interest or was preparing a snack). I will probally take the path my screen surname suggests.

"Lenny Suckerpunch Never bet on me" - Elizabeth "The Lizzard" Lowblow

by Lizzy Lowblow on Apr 19, 2008 6:52 AM PDT up reply actions

I bet you won't!

Nah. I don’t really mean that. I know you just like to appear to be scaley but under those scales you’re really soft. And you have big sharp teeth.

by annthefan on Apr 19, 2008 8:46 AM PDT up reply actions

Well, at least I'm not a SNAKE!

Oh Snap!

That reminds me. It was The Snake I pulled outta the terranium to play on our Team in the last two CC’s!

Gotta Go!

"Lenny Suckerpunch Never bet on me" - Elizabeth "The Lizzard" Lowblow

by Lizzy Lowblow on Apr 19, 2008 9:03 AM PDT up reply actions

I voted get it over with now

by the time you sober up, you’ll have lost the chance at regrets.
I feel Luftman started off ok, but in asking him to compensate for Holton’s absent stare and 500th repetition of “He got paid”, Luft got a bit cheesy as the season winded down.

I fear change-- Garth

by bow4meow on Apr 19, 2008 9:41 AM PDT reply actions