Potential Rooks Arbitrarily Insulted (Plus Predictions!)
The internet is full of wisdom and pornography. You have to be careful when conducting research on it to differentiate between the two, otherwise your book report will be totally ruined and you’ll probably endure another awkward parent/teacher conference.
Aware of the perils, I used my skills of discernment to track down online mock drafts and evaluate the choices the internet was making for us. As we know by now, sports bloggers and writers are never wrong and always predict how the lottery and draft will go so it’s in our best interest to pay them the respect they are due.
To start my data-mining I decided to play the ESPN.com lottery generator, which is equipped to first simulate the lottery-ball papal conclave that goes on behind an emerald curtain preceding the draft. Once results have been routed through the server of the underworld, Chad Ford uses his brilliance to assign each team its most likely draft choice. I played with this generator for at least thirty embarrassing minutes before the thing broke (apparently the server of the underworld was not prepared for this kind of volume). In any case, I was unable to produce the result I wanted (Portland winning the lottery…again) and was forced to stare time and again at “13. Portland Trailblazers: Chase Budinger, Arizona.”
This is, I will admit, the name most frequently mentioned in association with our team in the upcoming draft. Let me be the three-hundredth to say I am not a fan. Putting my faith in KP and speciously assuming our evaluative processes always comes to the same result (he painstakingly studying film and consulting countless professional scouts, me drinking beer and falling asleep while watching college basketball on TV) I feel confident claiming we won’t draft Budinger.
PREDICTION SHOULD HE JOIN THE BLAZERS IN ‘09: Earns a spot in Coach Nate’s rotation…of rebounders during shoot-arounds. Constantly battles McRoberts for leg room on the bench. Starts a blog and posts twice before forgetting about it.
My next course of action (Google-searching “NBA mock draft”) lead to a second name linked frequently to our town and team. Donte Greene, a 6’10” SF from Syracuse with a 28% shooting touch from downtown who jacks 7.3 threes a game. Brilliant. I’m going to admit that the one review I read on him at Draftexpress (http://www.draftexpress.com/profile/Donte-Greene-1066/) was mostly laudatory, but listed under “weaknesses” were “Left hand, defensive intensity, consistent effort.” Sorry everybody, but that sounds like me on a pickup court.
PREDICTION SHOULD HE JOIN THE BLAZERS IN ’09: Is unimpressed after seeing Sofia Coppola’s latest film at the Fox Tower, declines to rent “Marie Antoinette.” Gets traded for veteran help in December. Milwaukee Bucks All-Star ’11 – ’15.
Finally, after suffering through a trifurcated set of UCLA “alums” (Love, Collison, Westbrook) I came across my favorte prediction to date. Nicolas Batum, a 6’8”, 210 lb. wing player from France who, according to his stats in Euroleague play and all accounts, may be the most inconsistent performer of all time. Hmm…6’8” French player…inconsistent…streaky scorer…flashes of athleticism…
PREDICTION SHOULD HE JOIN THE BLAZERS IN ’09: Admits he’s Boris Diaw.
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Glad the offseason
Brought back the Diary onslaught of nightbluefruit. You came up with some confusing and clever diaries back in the day.
As for the draft. Hansboro just because.
I voted "pointless"
My guess and hope is that KP will move up in the draft to snag a quality point guard—i.e, someone who can defend and finish (as well as set up others). But I enjoyed your post; keep ‘em coming.
"We don't back down to nobody." --Joel Przybilla
I got us the #1 pick...
on my 2nd attempt! I actually saved the image and will make it my li’l picture thingy (whatever those things are called) when I get on a computer that will let me do it.
Just so you know, we take Rose with the number one pick.
Blake brings it up on the right, swings it to Webster on the elbow, he moves around the key and passes to the low left block for Aldridge, Aldridge jukes baseline, turns back in and finds Roy cutting down the seam, ROY THROWS IT UP AT THE RIM FOR ODEN WHO THROWS IT DOWN FOR THE TWO HANDED MONSTER JAM!!! BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!!! -Wheeler '08-'09
i can't wait
by you'vegottomakeyourfreethrows on Apr 17, 2008 3:24 PM PDT reply actions
Last year...
...I got us the number one on the generator in similar circumstances. When I saw Oden pop up on the screen next to the Trailblazers logo I just said eff it and wet my pants right there in the PSU computer lab. I’m not even embarrassed about it.
BLZRS FRVR
by nightbluefruit on Apr 17, 2008 3:25 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm changing my ways
First, to go a tad off topic but in regards to your first paragraph, I was given tickets to STOMP, back in the day, and did an internet search. I discovered a fetish called “stompling.” It’s basically people that are turned on by watching just about anything get stepped on. I love the internet.
The Blazers were already the youngest team in the league. I know Oden was already here, but he didn’t play, and they are adding Rudy. Knocking out Miles lowers the average age, and I just do not think this team needs anymore youth.
I still love Hansbrough, he’s not worth the 13th pick. I say if we cannot draft Rose or Hansbrough, then we shouldn’t draft at all.
One thing about the 13th pick. There is only a about $600,000 difference from the 13th pick’s salary to the 24th pick’s salary, according to mynbadraft.com. They also have Hansbrough going at the 24th pick to Utah. Lets say that KP ca not get Rose so he decides to move down to Hansbrough, how far do you really need to move? The salary difference is pretty small by NBA standards. My guess is that it would have more to do with another team wanting someone at 13, and willing to move up to get them.
Ask not what Blazers Edge can do for you; ask what you can do for Blazers Edge.
Hansbrough
He’s just such a hardworker, blue-collar guy, coach’s dream, plays with such passion, loves the game, got his nose broken, is such a hardworker, and his name rhymes with “jam-show.”
And, golly, the kid just works his butt off.
You forgot to mention...
...that he’s all hustle, that he always gives 110%, that he just puts the team on his shoulders, and that you have to just love his intensity.
BLZRS FRVR
by nightbluefruit on Apr 17, 2008 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions
But does he bring his A game?
And does he leave it all on the court? For a full 48 minutes?
Mortimer?
No he does not!
I don’t think this guy has played hard for more than 40 mintues in regulation of a game, ever, in his life. That is just not going to cut it in the NBA.
lol...
he should be playing hard well after the game is over!!!! Slacker!!
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss" Robert A. Heinlein
by 92wastheyear on Apr 18, 2008 9:33 AM PDT up reply actions
He's a real garbage guy
Does all the little things, like a junk yard dog, brings the intangables, also some of the things he brings just don’t show up on the stat sheet.
I am the master of my fate, I am the Captain of my soul. - Charles Wesley
wow
way to get on Timbo’s good side… lol
If all I'm remembered for is being a good basketball player, then I've done a bad job with the rest of my life. - Isiah Thomas
haha, I read Batum's draftexpress profile too
it’s a shame, because he sounds like he would be an outstanding player if he could get his head together

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