Bill Simmons loves Z-Bo

by rockingharder on Apr 15, 2008 1:48 PM PDT Comment 22 comments

Okay, not really. Bill Simmons' newest column is part one of his MVP column, and Z-Bo comes in as the second-least valuable player in the league.

Here's the money quote:

Any time the same player is widely credited for one team's resurgence (simply because he left), another team's ongoing demise (simply because he showed up) and the firing of a third team's GM (Milwaukee's Larry Harris, who made the fatal mistake of trying to convince his owner that the Bucks should trade for him), that should have been enough for him to cruise to the LVP Award. Zach, I'm sorry. I don't know what else you could have done short of stabbing Nate Robinson during a timeout.

No Blazers yet, but I expect to see Brandon and hopefully LMA in the next set (coming tomorrow). Although he did leave a lot of space between most of the players, so it's possible that we'll see no Blazer mentions at all.

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Don't forget that Zach totally ruined Curry

NY Knicks Front Office = geniuses all

by leeroyjenkins on Apr 15, 2008 2:15 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I couldn't stop reading

This is the best thing Simmons has ever written.

"85. Vince Carter
I mailed in this paragraph in his honor. "

Brilliant!

by leeroyjenkins on Apr 15, 2008 2:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ouch!

I was one who lobbied for Zach to hit the road (including letters I wrote to The Oregonian). But Zach isn't THAT bad. His departure was addition by subtraction for the Blazers--sure. But the Knicks had plenty of other problems before Zach showed up.

On the right team, Zach could contribute. He's a talented garbageman/ instant offense guy off the bench. He just needs to be surrounded by the right pieces. And he has to accept that reduced role and accompanying pay cut. (Not likely)

BTW, wasn't Simmons one of the "experts" who thought the Blazers had gotten snookered by Isaiah on the Zach deal? (I don't actually recall.)

"Ime caught the guy in mid-air with a fist and calmly continued his dispatching of oncoming people." -Gabe Muoneke

by hurryup09 on Apr 15, 2008 2:26 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

what he said

was that we should have taken Durant instead of Oden, because that way we wouldn't have had to deal Zach and we could have had instant effects from the lottery. I think that he is starting to see the genius of Pritchard, and by next year he will have a mighty meal consisting of eating his own words and drinking the Blazer kool-aid.

TheOdenator

by TheOdenator on Apr 15, 2008 2:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

ouch

Okay, i'm not a fan of Zbo, but the blazers ALSO had a PF who needed playing time and that was evident by the numbers he put up when he was allowed to play.

It's not like we were an established team that got better. We're a young fluxuating team and frankly we lost quite a few out of the gate before we found our stride.

I still find it hilarious though.

I have been known to be wrong, but you won't get rich off THOSE nickels.

by ratbastird on Apr 15, 2008 2:32 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Zach could be sweet on the right team

I 100% agree with that. It would have to be a team that desperately needs interior scoring, but that can live without the interior defense.

by leeroyjenkins on Apr 15, 2008 2:52 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

And has the appropriate vets in place to keep

him in line.

I always wonder why the Spurs, who can't score at all but have very good team defense, didn't give Zach a look. I bet if Zach were a $7-8 mil/year player rather than a $12 mil/year player, they would have.

by leeroyjenkins on Apr 15, 2008 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

But at this point,

will anyone ever trade for him ever again, after what happened to Milwaukee's GM?

by ranma on Apr 15, 2008 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Simmons' column aside

Larry Harris had a whole host of crappy moves to his credit -- paying Michael Redd $70 mil to be a franchise player (which he's not); splashing out big dough on Bobby Simmons, the second coming of DA; matching the Heat's offer sheet for a disgruntled Charlie Bell and then not playing him; drafting Admiral Yi, who fell off the face of the earth after the All-Star break. That's just off the top of my head, I'm sure there are more lousy dealings, but the point is that Harris didn't get canned for a trade that didn't go through and was at worst a lateral move for his team anyway.

by BlazersOrBust on Apr 15, 2008 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I dunno,

it sounded a lot like a GM got canned for entertaining the thought of Zach Randolph on his team. "Lateral move?" It only takes the owner to disagree with that.

I don't think Simmons is so far out there in this case when he says basically that, only because I'm pretty sure he's not the only one saying it. I'd look it up but I'm on my way out the door...

by ranma on Apr 15, 2008 3:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I love it...

... when Simmons does this type of article. It's his strength. I often don't agree with his rankings, but that isn't the point. If you think of him solely as a funny writer who watches a lot of NBA basketball and makes some keen observations, some of his columns can be really fun reads.

by jksnake99 on Apr 15, 2008 2:57 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Zach's the Man

Zach is talented. No question about it. Arguably the best garbage man in the game, along with Al Jefferson. Zach has an uncanny touch and ability to score down low, despite being non-athletic and kind of undersized. If he had a few other skills he would be an all star.

As for his character, he improved dramatically during his time with the Blazers. He matured.

Nature bats last.

by fisheyes on Apr 15, 2008 3:09 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

That was a good column.

Normally Simmons annoys me, especially with how much space he takes up with his usual rambling.

by ranma on Apr 15, 2008 3:27 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I ain't read it yet

But Zach sure is being set up as the scapegoat for NY's season right now, because it sure as hell ain't his fault.

This even-horrible-by-recent-Knicks-history-standards season was set in stone years ago, when Isiah was first hired. When he traded for Eddy Curry, the TRUE Fat-Bo. When he picked up Stephon Marbury, and a few seasons later Steve Francis. When he gave up all of his lottery picks, except for the one he used on Channing Frye.

Really, I'd say Zach was his best trade by FAR. He got a lot more talent, got rid of Francis. BUT, Z-Bo and Curry are such a horrible mixture that even the most casual fan knew they couldn't play together. Howevers, Z-Bo is the much much much better player out of the two. More versatile scorer with a sometimes dominant low post game, a guy who actually LIKES to rebound and goes after everything, and works to improve his game. Eddy Curry just flat out sucks and his scoring numbers look decent when you force feed him. He is worthless otherwise, like really worthless. And I rarely say that about any player.

Like BoB said above, Harris was gonna be fired for many bad moves. Bogut, Simmons, Redd, etc and onwards and so forth. Z-Bo is just being used as a scapegoat there too because it is an easy story.

Were the Knicks a team on the way up before Z-Bo got there? Were they stopping anyone defensively, or running teams out of the gym? Of course not, they were garbage in the weak East. He didn't make them better, but he didn't make them worse.

I do think Z-Bo is prone to not help the situation when everything around him is negative, so while we saw mostly good-Z-Bo in Positive Portland, Stat-Bo will take over in one-for-one-and-none-for-all Knicks land. Zach can help a team with scoring and rebounding, but he isn't a building block nor a leader. He won't ever make a bad situation better, but he can make the right good situation gooder.

Point is, NY ain't his fault by a long shot.

Ok, now I go read the funny funny article. As long as he doesn't say we should trade LMA for Yi Jianlian and Spencer Hawes, I'll enjoy it.

Mortimer

by Mortimer on Apr 15, 2008 4:29 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I love Z-Bo

He's can be so likable when he's not around knuckleheads, he almost makes me feel bad for him. NY was the worst possible place for him to be traded. He needs to land on a team with a strong star who can help him out.

by iDea on Apr 15, 2008 4:53 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Oh yeah

and funny article by the way. Like someone else said, these type articles are Simmons strong suit.

by iDea on Apr 15, 2008 4:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

one more thing

I'm super duper happy he's not a Blazer any more........

by iDea on Apr 15, 2008 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Zach's like most people, some good, some bad

He's not a good guy, he's not a bad guy, he's just a guy. Like Darius. Like Rasheed. Like you and me.

I just hated the thought of paying a guy $12 mil/year who clearly isn't a franchise cornerstone.

I will say though, that the sexual assault complaint really disgusted me. A man with a significant other and daughter shouldn't be asking for, and doing, the things he was accused of asking for and doing (imo). If those allegations were true, and we'll probably never know, then he dips quite a bit to the 'bad' side of my scale.

Here's a copy of that complaint to refresh our memories. I'll warn you it's pretty graphic.

http://www.oregonlive.com/pdfs/blazers/zach_memo092006.pdf

by leeroyjenkins on Apr 15, 2008 5:09 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Zach does have talent

but his flaws on the court are a lot worse than his flaws off it.

Have you guys read this really well written article?

http://nymag.com/news/sports/45787/

Here's a microcosm (from the article, sixth page) of Zach playing basketball:

'...unlike Curry, who simply could not pass, Randolph didn't see the profit in it. "He likes his points," says Geoffrey Arnold of the Portland Oregonian. "He has a physical hunger to score." You could hear his stomach rumbling when he drove headlong into double-teams or fluttered his hands high like a Pentecostal--I'm open!--on a cut through the lane. Or, less charmingly, as he sulked back on defense when feeling neglected. "He's selfish," the Eastern scout said bluntly. "If he was [still] in Portland, I guarantee you they would not be so successful."

'Randolph's most telling play of the year came in a December bludgeoning by Indiana, when he got upset over a missed foul call. Back on defense, he took up his harangue with the baseline official, flapping his arms in frustration. Which might not have been so bad, save that Randolph was supposed to be guarding Troy Murphy, who'd stopped twenty-odd feet away to do what he did best: bomb a three-pointer. When Randolph saw Murphy get the ball, he turned and stepped toward him--duty called, after all--but ultimately couldn't be bothered and wandered back to the ref, still jabbering. Murphy could have set up a surveyor's tool and downed a macchiato. As the ball splashed through the net, Randolph bared a flash of annoyance, though not an iota of chagrin.'

by ranma on Apr 15, 2008 5:57 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

help me out here

why is his nickname Z-Bo?

by dp8039 on Apr 15, 2008 6:26 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

It's an interesting story really...

...when Zach was a kid, a friend of his called him Z-Bo. Zach thinks it was maybe from a movie or something, he isn't sure, but a friend would call him that and it stuck.

Oh wait, that wasn't interesting :-( I'm sorry.

Mortimer

by Mortimer on Apr 15, 2008 6:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs