Shavlik Randolph: A Life
Enough Is Enough
I have to say that, while I am all for a person's right to speak their mind and share their feelings, I really don't appreciate the negativity and verbal abuse every one of you has been hurling at 'The Shav'. He's not a bust. He is NOT Nate's 'pet' player - though the two do have, obviously, a healthy respect for each other as contemporaries and equals.. don't hate. And don't even get me started on this whole so-called 'fragility' issue - dude's a survivor. He's battled injury-plagued college seasons, a major leg surgery, mono and "an accident during practice that teammates described as gruesome, comparing it to former NFL quarterback Joe Theisman's career-ending injury" [Wikipedia]. Good lord.
Look, don't get me wrong - there's definitely room for improvement. Right now, he's coming off a year where he averaged a not-great 0.9pts a game. We all know that could go up, but it could certainly be worse with the lack of shots to go around on this stacked team. You've got to think that cushy 3 minutes per game he was working with in Philadelphia will have to fall back to Earth in a big way, too. And yes, he only had 11 rebounds and 3 blocks on the season, not exactly the numbers you look for from your stud PF, but you could always look at it the other way: what if I told you there's a player on our team who, last year, averaged more offensive rebounds per game than points and had as many blocks as assists? Obviously, that's a versatile, high-ceilinged player - these are facts.
And, yes, there are those out there who are like "ooh.. Steven Hill's scored more points and grabbed more rebounds this year than Shavlik - why didn't we get him?" Ignore these people. I know it was a difficult call, with our getting the first pick of basically the two top recruits in the nation, but here's a couple facts about Steven Hill:
1. He plays for the Thunder. The Thunder SUCKS - of course he's going to get run and free license to chuck it up whenever he wants.
2. He's a center. Where would we find the minutes for him in this system with two project centers already in front of him?
C. Sure, people will say that Hill's scored his two points for the season in only two minutes of one game, but I say this: yes, he's a freaking point-a-minute phenom, but he's simply been on fire of late and his unreal shooting percentage (FG% 1.000 on the season) has got to slow down soon. Plus, he's from Arkansas(?) and has a beard.
So, all things considered, the choice becomes abundantly clear - you take the player who's the best all-around and the best fit for the team, not some media creation that serves only as a me-first distraction. Furthermore, talk like this only hurts Shav's feelings and everyone loves it when he is all jokey and your best bud but nobody can stand him when he's sad and distant, so please, just shut up about it already.
Bullet Points
- Averages over 60 slam-dunks a season.
- Broke Pistol Pete's single-game scoring record.
- Little-known fact: The Dream Shake was actually named after him.
- Can dribble with one hand.
- Adores children and animals and volunteers at a nursing home.
- Has never EVER been dunked on.
- Have you seen that part of The Shining where the elevator opens up and all the blood comes pouring out? He can do that.
- The Kobayashi of basketball.
- During the Great Quake of '98, kept both the Burnside AND the Hawthorne bridges from collapsing.. by himself.
- Doesn't return my phone calls.
- Frequents OMSI.
- Owns Kazaam on DVD and VHS.
- That whole 'you now have a restraining order' thing.
So, hopefully this paints a pretty clear and definitive picture of Shavlik Randolph and we can all put our petty remarks aside. I think we can all agree that we're here because we're Blazers fans and want to see them do well. Let's get them, us and especially Shav out from under the microscope so we can focus on the important things. Things like who needs to be fired and Coincast Sucks and how much better the Blazers would be if sociophobic nerds ran the team. Some preach patience, others punctual prosperity, but in the end we're all just looking for a good time, some good conversation and a good phone number for a certain someone (any leads?). Be safe, play hard, and god bless.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
-Shavlik Randolph
14 recs |
38 comments
Comments
whoa a little testy are we?
i literally have never seen anyone talk bad about Shavlik on here… maybe a few fussy Steven Hill fans a lonnnnngggg time ago but thats it…. i dont think your rant was necessary….unless…..you are SHAVLIK!!! HEY SHAV.
"I saw him in the face"
by RoodiePhirnandizz on Dec 28, 2008 3:04 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Roodie,
where else did we have a choice between two players and the one we didn’t choose went to OKC?
by premthegrem on Dec 28, 2008 10:57 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Shav is the shot in the arm that we need.
Nate told me somebody was, and with all the hard work Shav has been putting in at the nursing home he has earned a shot.
This is what Lucas would do. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0aPkIE2qK0
by 123_G.O._RipCity on Dec 28, 2008 3:13 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
With all his work at the nursing home
he’s probably been GIVING people shots.
If you can't convince them, confuse them -- Harry Truman, U.S. President
by jscot on Dec 28, 2008 5:13 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
You sir have picked up on a pun
This is what Lucas would do. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0aPkIE2qK0
by 123_G.O._RipCity on Dec 28, 2008 5:34 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
you sir, are a genious
December 18, 2008.
"Roy is Roy, and if I were to bet my life on a game of 5-on-5, I’d bet on whichever team Roy was playing on." by HurraKane212
by maid tu rek on Dec 28, 2008 4:56 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
and for the record, im not being sarcastik.
i genuanly enjoyed this read and rekt the post.
December 18, 2008.
"Roy is Roy, and if I were to bet my life on a game of 5-on-5, I’d bet on whichever team Roy was playing on." by HurraKane212
by maid tu rek on Dec 28, 2008 5:00 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Thanks, dude.
"Well, Travis just showed us that we can go to Travis Outlaw." - Nate McMillan
by 12sharks on Dec 28, 2008 5:08 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
very funny
Shav for president 2012!
by The Natural ala Mode on Dec 28, 2008 8:09 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
LOL
Rec
If you can't convince them, confuse them -- Harry Truman, U.S. President
by jscot on Dec 28, 2008 5:12 AM PST reply actions 2 recs
Hahahhahaa! You have a sly sense of humor. Very funny.
Rec, for a number of reasons.
"Aneurysm".
When Outlaw wins a game on a last-second shot, it’s called an "annthefaneurysm". QualityPie
by annthefan on Dec 28, 2008 8:32 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Brilliant
Long live the Shav!
Love that the first comment took this seriously. There is no level of sarcasm too extreme to shoot over somebody’s head.
It’s only a matter of time before Shav proves the doubters wrong.
Great post.
Q: Is Greg favoring his knee?
Frye: He favors dunking on your head, that's what he favors.
by KP Corleone on Dec 28, 2008 11:38 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
If Quick would stop picking on Shav
He would be fine
by southern oregon on Dec 28, 2008 11:41 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
This post deserves to be in the Hall of Fame
And Shav will be a first ballot Hall of Famer too. Cooperstown will open a whole new wing to highlight his incredible towel-waving career.
The question we should really ponder is not why al-Zeidi could be so impolite as to throw his shoes at Bush, but why the dozens of other shoes in the room remained on people's feet, why no foot odor ever purifies the air at a White House press conference, why a man who throws his shoes at our president is more popular than our president himself.
by MT Suit on Dec 28, 2008 11:47 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Cooperstown?
Last I checked the baseball hall of fame is in cooperstown. Basketball is in Springfield, Mass.
by danielfarrell on Dec 28, 2008 5:59 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
That's nice baby
Rec
Nice touch all the way.
by oregonslee on Dec 28, 2008 1:18 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I guess I'll hafta put this one through the fact checker
but at least someone mentioned his name :-)

by LetsBlaze on Dec 28, 2008 1:44 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
O in case you were wondering
above is a picture of a power forward putting the ball on the floor and driving past his man on the baseline
by LetsBlaze on Dec 28, 2008 1:45 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
What's he doing?
Why doesn’t he just pull up for the jumper? He could get bumped or hit by driving it in the paint.
My favorite teams are the Blazers and any team that is playing the Lakers.
by OCBlazerFan1 on Dec 29, 2008 8:26 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
He dresses nicely
Always looking sharp on the bench in a suit.
by Sabonis4Ever on Dec 28, 2008 3:43 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Coming from someone that just snapped their leg in half I respect and admire Shav all the more for his return to basketball.
I <3 this post. It’s perfect
Sophia
Though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod. - William Shakespeare
by BlazerFan1 on Dec 28, 2008 10:56 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
you broke your leg Sophia?
I’m so sorry… what happened? Is there any way we can help?
by Bust a Bucket on Dec 28, 2008 11:41 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
She went to a Palin speech
And was rushing to the platform to embrace Sarah and apologize for being wrong all along, but tripped going up the steps.
If you can't convince them, confuse them -- Harry Truman, U.S. President
by jscot on Dec 28, 2008 11:56 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
HAHA you were daydreaming again grandpa, back to your bed now, yes , this way
I slipped on ice in my driveway and on the livingston scale of one to ten (1 being a regular break and 10 being shaun’s break…) i would give my ankle/shin an 8. It literally was the most freakish accident ever. Walking tenderly down my driveway , slipped , my left foot went sideways and SNAP my leg goes right in half.. . It was bad I took the ambulance to the Hospital and was drugged up for the night. I broke the little knobby thing on the inside of the ankle and broke my fib and tib above the ankle… I got home on Christmas day and have been drugged up and splinted up since then. Surgery tomorrow and looks like im gettin a rod 2 plates and gazillions of screws!
Sophia
Though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod. - William Shakespeare
by BlazerFan1 on Dec 29, 2008 12:08 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Joking aside
I’m really sorry to hear that. Sounds really bad.
Hope the little guy, at least, had a good Christmas anyway. A good reminder that family is more important than presents & such, though.
Hope the surgery goes well. Does this mean you’ll get lots of Bedge time while recuperating? Might help pass the time a little bit. “Surgery tomorrow” I assume means Monday, so hopefully you’ll get to watch the Boston game. When we whip them, that should make your leg feel just a little bit better.
—-
I bet you’re glad those steps were there so you could draw back from the brink (of pallin’ with Palin) before it was too late.
—-
Will we be able to tell the difference between Sophia posting while heavily doped and Sophia posting “normally”?
—-
Don’t you think we should find someone a little more steady on the feet to help old geezers like me back to bed?
If you can't convince them, confuse them -- Harry Truman, U.S. President
by jscot on Dec 29, 2008 4:15 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Palin on the mind... did your parents buy you a Palin DVD for Christmas?
by Bust a Bucket on Dec 29, 2008 8:37 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I just know she's Sophia's favorite politician
because she talked about Sarah so much.
I think it might be because Sophia was so excited about a woman being chosen for VP. We could all tell.
If you can't convince them, confuse them -- Harry Truman, U.S. President
by jscot on Dec 29, 2008 9:33 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Oh man!
Ouch! Sorry to hear that, and I hope you get better soon.
My favorite teams are the Blazers and any team that is playing the Lakers.
by OCBlazerFan1 on Dec 29, 2008 8:29 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Ouch! REC (because that sounds very painful)
I’m so sorry! That is a crazy story.
Does that mean you will be Bedging on Oxycotton or Vike-a-din?
by Bust a Bucket on Dec 29, 2008 8:34 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
No fun. Heal quickly.
Hope all goes smoothly. Stay comfortable.
I left my wallet in El Segundo.
by ArbyOSU on Dec 29, 2008 9:24 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
What's the line?
OPh yeah …. Take the pain.
hakkaa päälle !
by timg56 on Dec 29, 2008 1:46 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
LOL
you seem to have taken your injury a lot better than i took mine. the livingston scale is classic! i love it. on a scale of injury proneness how do you fair? 1 being regular and 10 being GO? jk.
Honor Terry Porter
by Philthyanimal on Dec 30, 2008 6:03 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I swore to LetsBlaze
I would never say anything negative about The Shav again.
-Shad
"If a doctor ever gives me six months to live, I want it in basketball time." - Marc Acito
by NBAstard on Dec 29, 2008 1:20 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
9 for 9 – the new #25
"...we have so many experts who think that you have to play defense, you have to rebound, you have to be a possession coach, you have to execute. I just laugh. Explosive offense is not as intimidating as dominant defense. But it is scary when you don't know how to stop someone." - George Karl, Nuggets coach
by jamon51 on Dec 29, 2008 1:47 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
too bad that damn game was not on tv
Shav’s moment in the spotlight ruined.
"When I have the ball, I experiment." #5
by Sabonis4Ever on Jan 1, 2009 11:50 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

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