Usually people ask Santa for things they DON’T have .

 Joel chucks half court buzzer beaters ALL THE TIME

 jerryd is in absolute control of his face @ all time

travis has PLENTY of fan support (do u ever read these comments? Lol)

 Brandon has 100,00,000 thank u notes

 sergio has rudy

rudy is ‘eurotravis’ as dubbed by ben the g therefor the green is ALWAYS on for the step back 3

  steve will get a shiny new contract, however from whom we have yet to find out

 greg needs a hug actually, and finally nic is asking for a girlfriend for christmas…named sophia…

Sophia :-)

And I’m the ultimate authority. Well, except for jscot.

Lamarcus Aldridge

    * Dave: A nice, clear Christmas lane…to drive down.
    * Ben: A spot in the All Star 3 point contest so his unmatched ability to hit uncontested 3s will finally be appreciated.
LMA in the 3 point contest would be like the year Darrell Armstrong was in the dunk contest. One for Dave.

Nicolas Batum

    * Dave: A few fourth-quarter minutes in the stocking.
    * Ben: A courtesy 3rd place vote for Rookie of the Year in honor of his contributions.
If Andreas I-ain’t-worth-my-salt-or-pepper Barngani can get a first place vote, a courtesy 3rd would be well-deserved for Boom Boom. Point goes to Ben, tied up at 1-1.

Jerryd Bayless

    * Dave: A face massage and a defender or two with no lateral movement.
    * Ben: A blog. Definitely give this man his dang blog already. I’m fiending
Blog shmog. No one reads those. Jerryd’s earned a face massage. +1 for Dave.

Steve Blake

    * Dave: A shiny, new contract.
    * Ben: A set of rear view mirrors so he can keep one eye on Sergio and the other on Jay Bay.
22 points, 10 assists, 0 turnovers. Clutch free throws to boot. Dave’s up 3-1.

Ike Diogu

    * Dave: A put-back jam for old time’s sake.
    * Ben: The bat phone’s number so he has something to do on the bench.
He’s already a video game nerd…why not fit into youth culture by spending the game texting? (note: some kid in my league was doing that the other day. I had to inbound the ball in front of their bench and I deftly snapped his phone shut mid-text message. Hilarious). 3-2 Dave with the lead still.

Rudy Fernandez

    * Dave: A good razor and a green light on the step-back three.
    * Ben: A butterfly net to catch the lingerie that gets tossed his way.
Push. These both fail. Rudy just wouldn’t be Rudy without a Euro-beard, and he’s already got the green light for the threes. And we all know Rudy has only one girl in his life (hint: her name starts with a T and rhymes with Twiggs).
Still 3-2 Dave.

Channing Frye

    * Dave: A couple dozen of shot attempts. Don’t spend them all in one game!
    * Ben: A sit down with Bobby Knight.
Please. No shot attempts for Channing. 3-all.

Raef LaFrentz

    * Dave: A heretofore undiscovered trade kicker.
    * Ben: A highlight reel of his time in Dallas.

and another bag of Doritos. The young gun snatches the lead.

Greg Oden

    * Dave: A baby hook. Take care of it and it will grow up into a full-on hook. Then you will be feared.
    * Ben: Noise-cancelling headphones.
Greg already tunes everyone out—no need for headphones. Tied up—4 a piece.

Travis Outlaw

    * Dave: Some fan support.
    * Ben: A trampoline, a video camera and a blindfold. Can you imagine what might happen?
Make it happen Ben. You’re up 5-4

Joel Przybilla

    * Dave: A coupon for one free three-point launch.
    * Ben: A trophy. Of any kind. He deserves it.
Amen. Joel-Zilla is the man. 6-4—Ben’s pulling away….

Shavlik Randolph

    * Dave: A minute on the court.
    * Ben: Free trip to this year’s Final Four so he can watch Kyle Singler bring home the hardware.
If I hear the name Kyle Singler one more time….I will….I don’t even know. Automatic point for Dave. Ben still up 6-5.

Sergio Rodriguez

    * Dave: Another Spaniard to pass to.
    * Ben: A new agent.
The more the merrier. And being merry is what Christmas is all about, right? Dave ties it up. Sixes.

Brandon Roy

    * Dave: 52 thank-you notes plus a free ring sizing, just in case.
    * Ben: Brandon Claus doesn’t need gifts from us mortals.
Everyone has feelings, Ben. Even if they are semi-immortal. Dave surges ahead—7-6.

Martell Webster

    * Dave: A healthy foot.
    * Ben: Please, please, please a healthy foot!
Didn’t Dave’s mom ever teach him to say please?

Final score…7-7. A tie? What?!? This had to be rigged!

Andy wants A Date for Christmas, Insulation for my house, and time with my family.
Sophia wants Mike Rice
Dave wants to, live close enough to see more then a handful of home games
Ben wants to hang out with Rebecca Harlow after the game
Prezofdeath wants his Anti-Bradon fan post back
Outlaw is Rejector wants to come to this Party tonight with those kids from McFaddens
Bow4meow wants a dog
Tominhawaii wants to live in Oregon, And stop hanging around other SBN sites.
Norsktroll wants to finally move out from under that bridge
Twiggs wants to make like a tree and get the heck out of here! (Back to the future reference, has anyone seen that chica in a while?)

KP wants some Credit for whats happening here
Nate wants to wait to sign his extension
Paul Allen wants a new Yacht, oh wait, that’s what I want
Brandon Roy wants, well, what else could a man ask for?
Lamarcus wants a toughness transplant from Chuck Norris.
Greg wants a confidence boost from the Fonz. He’s so cool.
Steve wants an invite to the three point shootout. And rat-look-alike contest.
Channing wants Charles Barkley’s job.
Bayless wants a chance to ball. And a new cologne.
Rudy wants his girlfriend over here. (did that wake twiggs up?)
Sergio wants to be the better Spaniard. And learna to speaka the language.
Joel wants only to beat Shaq. Merry Christmas Joel.
Nic Batum wants a straight hair line.
Ike wants to get paid this type of money to play video games.
RLEC wants to be traded for a Lebron and Chris Paul combo trade.
Shavlik wants to become THEE new Mr.Randolph at Stars Cabaret.
Martell wants his own DDR game. One foot edition.

Am I missing anyone?

Roy and Aldridge get tickets to Phoenix in February.

Oden gets a beautiful spin move and the ability to delete the line “missed all of his first season with a knee injury” from anything describing him.

Blake gets 1 more year as our starter because he’s playing out of his mind

Outlaw gets to shoot 15 times a game…….for another team

Bayless gets a 3 point shot like Blake, passing skills like Sergio and some minutes to prove he can be our starter.

Martell gets a bionic foot in a bionic stocking

Rudy gets a midrange game to go with his 3s and dunks

Przybilla gets a starting spot on the All-NBA underappreciated team

Batum gets Sophia, errr…uhhh…he already got the starting gig so it seems like christmas came early for him

Raef gets to stay on the team so his contract expires, but also gets a ring because of it

Ike gets to be a fan punching bag the way Frye was.

Shavlik gets to play a whole quarter against the L*kers because we are up by so much.

Sergio gets a consistent jumpshot to go with his passing skills

Frye gets an extension but only need to blog to earn his money.

Pat on the back, a good night’s sleep, and three spectacular wins over Denver (2) and Dallas.

………………………….. So how about going Soviet-style and unilaterally declaring Przy

FIRST ANNUAL HERO OF THE BLAZERS’ NATION

???

For Greg (I know, he’s not a teenager any more… and no longer in Kansas Todo)…

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=17332405&st=depression&type=product&id=1915748

For the Spanish Air-mada (they will be on the last best Blazers poster since “Uh Oh!”)

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=8689546&st=poster&lp=6&type=product&cp=1&id=1608096

For Travis and Channing (helping them make sense of what will happen in 2009)

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=8641776&st=trade&type=product&id=1780981

For Brandon (because even a monkey knows how good he is)

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=7148892&st=mvp&lp=5&type=product&cp=1&id=280360

For KP (we can slide this in his stocking)

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=8586087&st=mvp&lp=2&type=product&cp=1&id=1756025

…a free ring fitting. Just in case…you know what I’m sayin’.

Kansas (meet the future Hall of Famer that he was destined to be – at that time): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9V5bD5zjyg
Possible NBA career highlight: Raef blocks AI from behind

…I am digging the Best Buy ad Dave!!! I think the Blazer’s ARE sponsored by them..cuz my wife ran into Batoooooom at Best Buy the other day. He was quiet but very nice..and his french is gooood! Luckily, Je parle un peux de francais, mais il mais apprendre ma fille! This is the second time she has ran into a Blazer at Best Buy! Here is the funny thing, my wife has also caught on to Blazer fever as well as her good friend (who never watched B-ball)..

ps: some of the teenagr workers thought the dude was LaMarcus or Channing……..my wife was like…dude that is Batum!!!! He took a picture..or my wife took a picture actually :)

Go Blazers!

Lamarcus Aldridge: Agressiveness

Nicolas Batum: A teammate who speaks French so he doesn’t feel lonely with the Spaniards. Since Parker isn’t available, we might settle for Ajinca in a deal with Wallace. And a friendship with Sophia so he improves his English

Jerryd Bayless: Trades gifts with Channing: A couple dozen of shot attempts. Don’t spend them all in one game!

Steve Blake: A heartfelt apology letter signed by all pundits who ever claimed he should not start in the NBA.

Ike Diogu: An Xbox 360 Elite with life-long free subscription to Xbox Live from Paul Allen (Ike, there are more XBox than PlayStation games out there)

Rudy Fernandez: A Ricky Rubio gift certificate in which his buddy promises to only sign in Portland (okay, you got me, that is my gift)

Channing Frye: Definitely give this man his dang blog already. I’m fiending! (Guys with blogs on the team website don’t get traded)

Raef LaFrentz: A multi-team trade that somehow sends him back to Boston so he can get his ring, too.

Greg Oden: A 30 – 15 night against a quality center (but not too quality) to quiet all the haters, incl. a broken rim in the final minutes that gets repeated on SportsCenter a bazillion times. And maybe a gift-wrapped Mike Conley

Travis Outlaw: A spot in the All-Star dunk contest. Move suggestion: Rick Fox sits on a chair under the basket, wondering what his role will be (he thinks he should pass it to Travis). But Travis throws it off the backboard McGrady-style, leaps from a foot behind the free throw line and slams it through the hoop with a tomahawk dunk right on Fox’s noggin and yells “IT’S THE FoxTrout!!!” The audience laughs AND applauds his athleticism, players jump around on the court, even thought Dwight Howard repeats his win with the mysterious “Phone Booth”.

Joel Przybilla: Honorable mention for sixth man of the year or defensive player of the year

Shavlik Randolph: Playing time against his old Sixers, then going 10 for 10 incl. a dunk on Elton Brand (if he is healthy) or Sam Dalembert.

Sergio Rodriguez: A shooting workout master class with J.J. Redick, Ray Allen and Steve Nash after which he is deadly from outside

Brandon Roy: A win against Indiana so he has beaten every team in the league

Martell Webster: A no-trade agreement from KP

Lamarcus Aldridge: Press pack
Nicolas Batum: Picasso prints
Jerryd Bayless: Custom trailblazers ping pong table/set
Steve Blake: Press pack
Ike Diogu: Some respect for being a bruiser.
Rudy Fernandez: Marc Gasol on our team in the 2nd unit at the 4.
Channing Frye: The chance to prove himself in the NBA (please not on the blazers)
Raef LaFrentz: An expiring contract.
Greg Oden: An iphone; people don’t know, but Oden’s sullen facade is really just because he hates his Ophone.
Travis Outlaw: A clinic on defending pumpfakes.
Joel Przybilla: A punching bag with shaq on it.
Shavlik Randolph: Zach Randolph’s number, to help bolster old jersey sales revenue.
Brandon Roy: The Lion King.
Martell Webster: A chill pill.

Nate McMillan – Lots of pleasant surprises on the court
Monty Williams – A head coaching position – but not till after at least one championship
Jay Jensen – a few seasons with only minor bruises and nosebleeds to tend
The dynamic Pritchard-Penn duo : Even more heightened awareness of the right time to strike
Paul Allen – an arena sponsor that will let us keep the name Rose Garden
Maurice Lucas – a way to inject some of the old Luke into all our big men
Rose Garden – more banners hung from the rafters

Raef- A Retired Jersey in Kansas

Trout- To be as pretty as Rudy, so Sergio will look at him for backdoor alley-oops as well

Sergio- 2 more sets of eyes, so he can see 360 degrees at all times

Rudy- 15 extra pounds

Ike- 15 less pounds

LA- consistency

Channing- confidence

Batum- respect

Joel- a full season

Blake- Just a single free throw to re-shoot

GO- to look at the Blazer’s record this year compared to last year, and realize that he is a big reason for the change.

The Web-slinger- A full recovery

Bayless- 40 blow outs this season (playing time)

Randolph- a plush seat warmer (sorry Shav; when you wear a suit to the game, that’s not a good sign)

Roy- Team victories where he only shoots twice

for Nate:

A healthy Mo Lucas to work with the Greg.

Jerryd – a seat at the worlds series of poker 2009 main event…with his poker face he is an odds on favorite
Roy – roy would want for all of his teammates to have their wishes granted.
LMA – a starring role in a nike commercial where he makes LeBron look bad.
Trout – a personal assistant to hand write I TOLD YOU SO cards to all of his doubters.
Rudy – his own fragrance line.
Greg – to pwn Dwight Howard for the rest of his career
Martell – a best selling instructional dvd on shooting mechanics
Sergio – to look at rudy in the face 24/7
Frye – his own restaurant or an on camera job with blazers broadcasting (replaacing m. holton)
Batum – to be part spaniard so he can join the spanish armada.
Pryzzle – a better nickname than the thrilla.

Jerryd gets minutes when the Blazers blowout 88% of their remaining games
Martell gets healthy
Brandon gets to lead the Blazers to the second round of the playoffs this season.
Travis gets to work his dribble penetration moves often throughout the remaining games.
Joel gets to play every game this season
Rudy gets minutes in fourth quarters of close games.
Channing gets a show on Comedy Central
Shavlik gets to wear his nice gray suit to the rest of the Blazer games this season.
Greg gets confidence.
Sergio gets more minutes.
Steve gets a nice new contract
Raef gets healthy too.
Nicolas gets a consistent jumper
Ike gets to show us his moves.
LaMarcus gets more toughness to his game.
Nate gets wins.