Blazer Dilemma

The 24hr kind….very contagious but goes away the next day

Now, you won’t be lying when you say you’re sick. And you will be sick. The beauty is that, after you eat something and flush your system with water to absorb the vitamins, you’ll be all better.
Small price to pay for being able to stay home and watch the game.

1. Record the game and watch it later. Make sure to avoid all contact with the outside world until you have time to see the game. This is not the preferred option, but at least you would get to see the game without knowing the outcome.

2. Do 50 year olds really have birthday parties that go on past 7:30? How old are you by the way (50 seems very young for a mother in law)? Suggest that the party is early in the day, so that everyone is happy. Maybe a nice birthday lunch/afternoon party?

3. Uh….you could be honest and say you would much rather watch the game than celebrate a birthday. A similar route would be to just turn the game on during the party anyway, keep the volume low and maybe no one will notice. Actually, these are the least preferred options.

4. Forget something at your house and then ‘accidentally’ get a flat tire ‘on your way back to the party’. Just say the tow truck took forever.

ha ha. just kidding.

What I mean is no excuse is good enough for missing the game. Just tell your mom in law that, well, sorry, you can’t miss the game unless there’s an emergency. Her birthday party is not an emergency. You’d love to go to the birthday party, of course, but you’ve got a prior engagement.

You never want to mess with mother-in-laws.

For instance, no one questions someone who is telling them how explosive their diarrhea is. Just tell them that you haven’t been able to get off the toilet all day and throw in some disgusting details. 60 percent of the time, it works every time.

I kinda doubt that unless the entire party has been living under a rock they wouldn’t figure out some lame excuse equals you watching the game… you’re going to have to

a) break down and cry
b) explain to them how hot rudy, in an attempt to get the game on.

Step Two: Offer choice…your mother in law can either hear in excruciating detail exactly what activities your wife and you participate in behind closed doors (so to speak) OR she can let you go watch the game and have this nice little gift card to Bath and Body Works besides.

Step Three: Enjoy game in comfort.

—Dave

it’s simple really.

Just tell her that you are giving her the greatest gift a elder life could have…..

and You’re gonna have to work it good, I mean juice it up and put a big bow on the “gift” your giving…..

and at about 6 you’re gonna wanna have alot of refreshments ready…and good ones too….better hit mcdonalds or somethin, but anyway, find an excuse to have your mother in law in front of a television before 7, the tricky part is gonna be keeping her there….but if you manage by the time you flick on the switch it should be …..awwwww..man….you’re skrewed…I just remembered we’re gonna have to suffer the butt end of the celtic’s game hu?….

thatsucks….sorry dude….but hey!! like all good plans if you pull it off your “gift” will be a new begining to the greatest fandom on earth…you’ll have created another blazer fan AND “given” the gift that litterally keeps on giving…A TEAM TO CARE ABOUT MAN!!!

or just tell her the truth, ….I mean….after all, it is just a mother in law. :)

and then explain it to her later. hopefully she has a sense of humor (and doesn’t smash your car in the meantime).

1. Let your cell phone battery die in advance.
2. Bring great refreshments and a great gift. Be very friendly to the mother-in-law, and everyone else.
3. Let everyone know your phone battery died earlier.
4. Mysteriously disappear at 7:15.
5. Next day when they ask what happened… you had to check on something at home.

I agree with the comments above, your mother-in-law will be with you a long time, but my take is a bit different. You need to establish now that you are not under her thumb.

I cleared my schedule out the day the season schedule was announced so this wouldn’t happen to me, too.

That’s tough. Brutal, really.

Have a little basketball ball reproduction in your hand during the party. Move and dance like you imagine the Blazers are doing in the game: slashing, shooting, defending, rebounding, etc. Slam dunk on your mother-in-law face while you imagine your are Oden and she is Gasol. The rest will go on its own.

But how?

• DVD of Blazer dunks over Kobe.
• Red Kool-Aid in a Blazer souvenir glass.
• Surely she at least hates the Lakers and would love to watch us punk them.
• Every time the Blazers score you contribute another dollar to her birthday gift.
• Tell her Jack Nicholson and Dyan Cannon will be doing a cameo.
• Place a bet for her on the game.