I liked that article.

and dang, i keep hearing it, and this article confirmed it. Rudy Fernandez is a panty-dropper.

Interesting thought. I suppose it’s too much to hope that they both make it…

very descriptive

that was great.

thanks ben.

Let me count the ways:

(1) “There’s something oddly reassuring about a seven-foot African American man with an Amish beard.”

(2) “His scoring line was modest, but the stark black and white of the following morning’s box score failed to paint an accurate description of the sheer terror plastered upon the stunned mouth-breathing grill of Sacramento Kings center Spencer Hawes—a man who had the unfortunate task of being posterized by Oden repeatedly. What Hawes realized that night, and countless other lanky NBA players are about to witness: Oden doesn’t score on you as much as he dunks over you, atop you, and when he so pleases, right through you.”

(3) “Under the ridiculous tenure of General Manager Kevin Pritchard—a man this close to just outright walking on water, curing leprosy with his healing touch, and traveling back in time to 1984 and rightfully drafting Michael Jordan over Sam Bowie—the Blazers have approached draft day like spoiled children do Christmas morning. This year’s gimmie-gimmie-gimmie bonanza was no exception…”

(4) “and the caliente Spanish panty-dropper, and Olympic sensation, Rudy Fernández.”

(5) “t’s true, The Raefist is still on the roster, which means that the team is $12.7 million poorer than it should be—that is, until his salary comes off the books next season. What that means is no more Raef—sorry pal—at which time the Blazers will suddenly stumble into a windfall of cash to drop on platinum rims, gold fronts, fixing our economy, and most importantly, a hotshot free agent.”

(6) “Starting point guard Steve Blake resembles a ball boy, the newcomers are going to struggle with the grueling NBA schedule (and officiating), the Western Conference is unfairly stacked with talent, Martell Webster is one mental breakdown away from becoming a cutter, and if the team actually makes the playoffs, they have zero postseason experience…”

You get it or you don’t, I reckon, there’s no accounting for taste…

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I thought it was a lot of fun. A couple pretty low blows (um, Martell becoming a cutter?), but otherwise, nice work Mercury!

I was kind of surprised he didn’t pull in the Channing Frye “Quote o’ The Preseason”:

Q: “Does Oden favor his knee?”
Channing: “He favors dunking on your head, that’s what he favors.”

“Raefist” is a great nickname

And I found it amusing at times. But I can’t believe the paranoid obsession with Greg Oden’s knee. You know, guys HAVE had microfracture surgery before and not immediately re-injured their knees. Skinny legs with a muscular upper body? Look around the NBA, for goodness sakes!

But clearly Greg’s gonna have to put up with this stuff until he gets an injury-free season under his belt. Or two or three???

Dang he really makes my feeling that Oden’s legs are too skinny to support his upperbody w/o injuries real. Do they just look skinny or are they actually unproportionate?

But he doesn’t play like one.

Poor Jarrett and his “creepy” eyebrows.