and it’s about science

from Zona
who won MVP in the summa
His scowl it was fierce
and his eyes they would pierce
now hes riding the pine like a Jonah

Zona = University of Arizona
Summa = I do rhyme good, me make up word
Johna = noun: a person believed to bring bad luck to those around him

A BEdger named CatMan2
Tried to write a good verse just for you
But he ran out of time
Trying to find the right rhyme
With the result that it was one of his worst posts ever, and that’s saying a lot!

PTB has a Man in the middle
Some say not as fit as a fiddle
We think he’ll be quick
But he may not like Quick
Which makes this a bit of a riddle

These Blazers would put up a fight
New faces galore
and never a bore
And when K*be & Co. fall on their (bleeps)…and Nash shows his age… and CP3 remembers he is just a kid… and Baron Davis starts partying with his old buddies in Compton…and Parker’s housewife becomes desperate… and Nowitski and Haslehoff start hanging out too much… and Iverson and Melo… well never-mind they are already messed up enough already… and… and…and when the Blazers figure out that nobody can stop them and that they are the deepest team in the NBA and that they have 9 players who could start and the best young center in the NBA and the most underrated captain in the league and a guy from Spain that impregnates women with his mind…and… and…
A CHAMPIONSHIP it is in sight.

Rip City Portland Oregon USA
The former Jail Blazers of the NBA
Roy to Rudy for the alley oop
Shonely yells rip city with another hoop
Barret and Rice extraordinary announcers
Always got their eyes on those Blazer Dancers
Yo Shaq drop that turkey leg
And pass the torch to our main man Greg.
Larry O’Brien we’re going to get your prize
The whole state of Oregon loves these guys!

There once was a town by the river

with 3 big ballers who make everyone shiver

guys would bite on the fake

and die on the break and
 
lay on the floor and just quiver

They then added Rudy

and a Rook named Rex

Now the white unit has some flex

And game is now soo Batum-y

Hickory Dickory Dock,
Greg Oden went up for a block.
The shot clock went “buzz,”
Roy said, “Good block cuz.”
Hickory Dickory Dock

Our bench is so stacked, you can see.
Can Nate get them all some PT?
Well, it’s tougher than that,
And they’re all getting fat,
‘Cause we’re beating their 5 with just 3.

There once was a guard from Spain,
Who in August gained worldwide fame.
He goes by the name of Rudy
And dunking is his duty;
In the Garden he’ll make it rain.

The dunks are falling
Like leaves in the autumn sun
In the Rose Garden

So much symmetry
A thing of stunning beauty
Greg’s two-handed block

There he flies again
Catching the rock in mid-air
Spanish Helicopter

Dripping to the floor
A steady stream of defeat
The tears of Kobe

Rodriguez, you finally emerge — hurry!
I add with no danger of perjury,
That Mr. Eleven
Just sends me to heaven
Performing his open court Sergery!

nowhere near as cool as the Fonzi
so my cat stepped in
with a Chesiere grin
one not unlike the Shonzi’s

… or not

A brand new young T-Wolf called B-roy
Got traded on draft night for a Foye
He came to the Blazers
Carved out tough shots with lasers
And brought fans an incredible joy.

there once was a writer named Quick
who wrote articles with his Bic
after speaking his mind
he tried to rewind
but Oden squished him like a tick

World, meet young Nic Batum,
But was his number called too soon?
He’s a diamond in the rough,
But can he score enough?
I feel we’ll get the answer real soon.

Splish-slash-splish
The Blazers new team is ‘delish’
When the L*kers hit town
The rain will come down
They’ll rollover dead as a fish

Got style? he’s seen sportin Prada,
with a dish and some dunks,
The kid layed out them punks,
Rudy’s here! Hide your wife, hide your daughta.

Trout’s the man from Mississippi;
Critics says he’s looking iffy;
I hope he gets hot
with passes and shots;
We’d hate to make bait of this fishy.

His knee was the topic of late,
And how it dashed all the plans that we made.
But you’ll forget all about it,
Alzheimers? I doubt it.
It’s the thrill of a victory parade.

*********
The Garden is filled to capacity.
We deliver a beatdown that’s ghastly.
Befuddled, bemused,
Confounded, confused,
Boom Shaka-Laka….oooooo, that was NASTY!

Blazer fans have gotten their wish
He soared high, they all tumbled
Superman, he was humbled
And it’s all thanks to Mr. Pritch.

… yes it is.

if the crumpets are fresh.

His contributions statistical solace
Both teams played hard
was his predictable card
Now its leave us your number, don’t call us

complained but couldn’t grin and bear it
so now he’s counting the minutes
and on a a team with no chance to win it
Good luck Jarrett now heres your new jersey- wear it.

Signed for millions and he was all smiles
instead of doing what he should
Ben Franklin pullin one back atop his hood
Its no wonder he lived in denials

MJ said he was great without even pausin’
scored over a hundred once in a game
sure it was Euro but still just the same
When I get to Heaven I’ll still be applausin

anchored the middle with Kersey and Buck
The big double zero
will always be our hero
Like Midus only his touch was good luck

There once was a point guard named Damon
As a rookie, so hot he was flamin’
But since fire makes smoke
He inhaled as he toked
His potential he ended up shamin’

But…..

After a year of riding the pine
With Mo Cheeks along for the ride
Young Damon wised up
Like a freethrow to the cup
He walked off the court with some pride

And….

Now Damon’s career is in doubt
With a team that has lost some of its clout
The Spurs have declined
And Damon’s in a bind
Because he sees his time running out
Because

There once was a Sea’ Cap’n Nate
Whom with Blazers did negotiate.
The pool, t’was so deep!
“That KP don’t sleep.”
Gold medals and rings were his fate.

Rookie of the year has gotta be Oden
But dont forget Rudy or even Bayless explodin
Batum is also looking to shine
Shavlik probably gonna wear out the pine
Hardly matters now the Fakers plateaued