The Oden Story

by Dave on Oct 20, 2008 2:43 AM PDT Comment 33 comments

There seems to be a bit of...tension floating around Blazer Nation with regards to Greg Oden, pressure, expectations, and what have you. Yeah...just a little tension.

So, to clear up the matter for everyone from Mr. Oden himself down to our newest reader, here's the most respected analyst we have, author of seminal professional basketball texts such as "Goodnight (Jamario) Moon" and "The Efficacy of the Zone Defense in Preventing Bedtime", the Blazers' own 2026 first round pick...Baby Point Guard!

OK, Greg, I understand that the expectations could be weighing you down like a post-nap diaper, so let me 'splain to you how this whole thing is going to go down on opening night in Portland. First of all, don't worry, 'cuz Baby Point Guard has got your back. Now, we're going to meet pre-game to discuss strategy. I'm already excited!

Then we're going to have a pre-game rubdown to loosen up.

After that comes your big introduction. "At center, #52, Greg OOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEN!!!!"

Then you're going out there to show them what you've got. Everybody will be happy!

After the game we'll cool down in the whirlpool.

And then it's back to my place for some drinks and relaxation!

Just don't bogart my Dew, Greg. I hate it when people bogart my Dew. Oh geez, here come the shakes again.

Anyway, you got nothin' to worry about. Neither does anyone else. We're gonna all be fine. Hey, can you get me another 2-liter on your way out?

Yep...that's my boy. He's pretty much got a handle on it. Greg and us...we'll all be fine. Just need to get playing, that's all.

--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)

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Post translation

For those having a hard time reading this post, I provide the following public service. The post simply means:

Dave has a really cute kid and doesn’t want anyone to forget it.

The most amazing thing about my amazing ego is I have amazingly little about which to be egotistical.
The pick and roll this year will emphasize "roll" followed by "dunk", followed by the wailings and lamentations of your women.

by jscot on Oct 20, 2008 4:42 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

And his teeth match your teeth.

Eh, howzit, brah. You get any da kine?

by tominhawaii on Oct 20, 2008 6:44 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't actually know

what Dave’s teeth are like, so I can’t comment.

by jscot on Oct 20, 2008 7:22 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You're dirty!

Eh, howzit, brah. You get any da kine?

by tominhawaii on Oct 20, 2008 7:26 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Bonus points if you identify this Baby Point Guard

Odenied: If you're given lemmings—make lemming-ade (Bow4Meow)

by Norsktroll on Oct 20, 2008 4:49 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Chris Paul?

by Cablinasian on Oct 20, 2008 8:25 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ding Ding Ding we have a winner.

Odenied: If you're given lemmings—make lemming-ade (Bow4Meow)

by Norsktroll on Oct 20, 2008 8:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Now THAT'S good Internet!

All the excitement wonder of the baby experience! But none of the nappies!

by FlyingOutlaw on Oct 20, 2008 5:34 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I love the smiles

but don’t wait too long to start teaching him a Bayless face – though I suppose a happy-go-lucky smile can disguise a will of steel.

It's time to retire Terry Porter's jersey. Please!

by jorga on Oct 20, 2008 8:00 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I know I'll get flamed, but lame.

Baby is super cute, perspective is always good, but was hoping for some basketball.

by Sonic Boom on Oct 20, 2008 8:11 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

The basketball story is: Oden is a big crybaby like LeBron. No? ;'-)

Odenied: If you're given lemmings—make lemming-ade (Bow4Meow)

by Norsktroll on Oct 20, 2008 8:22 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Look below. Dave posted three times early this morning.

If you want basketball coverage, he provides it in spades.

by Cablinasian on Oct 20, 2008 8:25 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

jeez

i flame thee

by bluthbanana on Oct 20, 2008 8:53 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Million Dollar Baby

In trying to lighten up Blazer Nation I think you’ve stumbled upon something very real. I agree that everything will be all right, I do think many (including myself) have over reacted to the Quick-Oden article. So perhaps we needed some humor, some smiling baby pictures.

I hate to fall back into the trap of seriousness, but it does bring out a question. Who has become Odens “mentor”? Who are, or who is Odens best friend(s) on the team? When Blazer nation starts taking things too seriously we have Dave to flip out the baby pictures, but it begs the question what teammates does Oden have to take him aside when perhaps he starts to get too down and get him smiling again? If you accept the premise that Oden is getting too serious, feeling the pressure too acutely, then it’s up to his teammates, perhaps those with more experience to lighten the mood. This might be a good time for some Karaoke in the Blazer practicve facility. Just stay away from the Dance, Dance Revolution.

"Mother Nature started this fight, I think it's about time we ended it!"

by Krang on Oct 20, 2008 8:17 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Shameless attempt to distract us from Ben's post about Greg.

And effective. Awwwww, kootchy kootchy koo!

"Personally, I'd rather give an elephant a prostate exam on Chili Day." --Dave on rooting for the Lakers or Celtics

by MiledAnimal on Oct 20, 2008 8:59 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

One more thing, Dave

I’m getting the feeling that you and maybe Casey, Gavin, and who knows else thinks we fans are over the top. You seem to be concerned about managing our expectations, as if the worst thing we could do is hope and dream and believe that our team can go 82-0 in the regular season and 16-0 in the playoffs. Is that so?

"Personally, I'd rather give an elephant a prostate exam on Chili Day." --Dave on rooting for the Lakers or Celtics

by MiledAnimal on Oct 20, 2008 9:05 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Not concerned about managing anything

People are always free to think what they want. Just concerned about being an option to go to if you want to hear what’s probably really going on. The only part that annoys me about the roller coaster is that people get so mean and personal during the down slides, when their expectations aren’t met. But there’s no preventing that really.

—Dave

by Dave on Oct 20, 2008 12:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You think that's tough?

Try being a Republican on this site!

It’s fine to criticize local sports teams and players but, as with humor, there’s a fine line that should not be crossed. I thought Ben crossed it and Jason did not. No way I would ever not appreciate all the good things he does here, let alone accuse him of trying to goose site ratings or worse.

Indy Cornrows would love to have our problems.

"Personally, I'd rather give an elephant a prostate exam on Chili Day." --Dave on rooting for the Lakers or Celtics

by MiledAnimal on Oct 20, 2008 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Wasn't talking about Ben so much I guess

though people do that too…but there’s no way to quantify what is or isn’t happening with a writer. It’s the player thing that bothers me as much as anything…the coach and team too. One day a player is fantastic, untradeable, a pillar of the team with potential bursting out his ears. The next week he’s a bum who can’t play and a new guy is taking his place. None of that really ends up being true. Same with the coach’s fortunes and the team in general. I guess I’ve never gotten that. I mean, I can see how it happens once or twice but when you have player after player, coach after coach, team after team go through the cycle don’t people start to figure out that the super high expectations and super low disappointments are more questionable than the actual performances of the guys involved? I guess that’s what I mean by being a voice for “truth”…not that I’m correct always, but more that at least we’re maybe talking about real things, like how the rookies still face an uphill battle to perform consistently or how Lamarcus is really good and doesn’t get the same mentions as our other really good players.

—Dave

by Dave on Oct 20, 2008 1:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You are like the calm, pipe-smoking, cardigan-wearing papa

reading the sports page in his easy chair while we, the unruly kids, run screaming and laughing around the house. The contrast is a big part of why Blazers Edge is so successful. If you start popping-off, we’ll have to turn to jscot for sanity, and who wants that? His iron fist lacks your velvet glove. I still have a bruise…

I’m not sure that the people who rave about Player X when he has a great game are the same ones tearing him down when he has a bad game. Some, maybe, but I would guess that generally there’s one crowd who gets too easily excited about players and another crowd who gets too easily disenchanted with them.

Whatever the case, I hope you never stop feeding us fascinating tidbits from practices, conversations, your own opinions or speculation, etc. because of potential backlash from some out-of-control fans on this site.

"Personally, I'd rather give an elephant a prostate exam on Chili Day." --Dave on rooting for the Lakers or Celtics

by MiledAnimal on Oct 20, 2008 2:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Only one bruise?

I must be getting soft.

by jscot on Oct 20, 2008 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

-1 for Being Republican

Ha, I kid because I love. I gave you the minus one for letting me know you are a Republican on a Blazer’s blog.
Oh, I just checked myself and gave myself a minus one for letting people know I’m a Satanist on a Blazer’s blog, back before politics mattered.
I guess what we learned here is that the square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.
Besides that, nothing else matters, except the Blazers. Woo, GO BLAZERS!!!! DOMINATE!!!!!

Eh, howzit, brah. You get any da kine?

by tominhawaii on Oct 20, 2008 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Dominate, Blazers!

You are my favorite squadron!

—Dave

by Dave on Oct 20, 2008 5:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I didn't say I was a Republican

just that it’s tough to be one on this site. Of course I am, because they are the only party that pays lip service to conservative principles. If a new party were to arise that actually adhered to conservative principles, I’d sign-up yesterday.

Three Indian squaws gave birth on the same day. The first squaw had a 5-lb son on a bear hide. The second had a 6-lb son on an elk hide, and the third squaw had an 11-lb son on a hippopotamus hide.

The Indian chief, surveying the situation, said "The son of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

"Personally, I'd rather give an elephant a prostate exam on Chili Day." --Dave on rooting for the Lakers or Celtics

by MiledAnimal on Oct 21, 2008 10:22 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

No fear of that

I just take more antacids. It’s the way of the world today. If it’s not drama it’s not real. I’ve always thought basketball was plenty beautiful and dramatic in its own right without the extra stuff about 13th men and pre-season hype and what have you.

—Dave

by Dave on Oct 20, 2008 5:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You've just discovered the silver lining

to the Jail Blazer era: we never had to dig for trivia about bench-warmers because there was always so much fun stuff going on with the starters. The current team of good guys is boring, they just play basketball. Ah, the good old days…

"Personally, I'd rather give an elephant a prostate exam on Chili Day." --Dave on rooting for the Lakers or Celtics

by MiledAnimal on Oct 21, 2008 10:26 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Nice Bayless shoes

Bring back headbands!

by Sabonis4Ever on Oct 20, 2008 9:14 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Good catch!

by Corvid on Oct 20, 2008 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

He also has Oden's hair from last year

Bring back headbands!

by Sabonis4Ever on Oct 20, 2008 11:24 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I love reading my daughter Goodnight Moon...

that’s a good one.

Yeah, this whole story won’t even be remembered come January.

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"

by you'vegottomakeyourfreethrows on Oct 20, 2008 9:59 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Dave you kid is super handsome

He is well on his way to being the token white guy on his basketball squad. :P

Sophia

"Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcreaft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians. [speech at GOP Presidential Convention 1992] Rev. Pat Robertson

by BlazerFan1 on Oct 20, 2008 10:30 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs