Rudy scares ACB´s teams

In the UK everything seems made to throw off the invader, both in peacetime and in wartime.
The masking of the street names and numbers of the houses, for example, is a weapon that the General Staffs from all over the world used to disorient the paratroopers. The British practice it extremely well in peacetime .
It is impossible, for a foreigner with a normal memory, learn the full address of an Englishman who lives in the countryside. The most he can retain is something like ...
Mayor Marmaduke Thompson
"The Tower"
Rowland's Castle
Rowland Hill Road
Malborough Heinghts
Pendleton
Hampshire
... But, bearing in mind that none of these words are pronounced as written, how visitors aren´t going to forget about half?.
When I arrived in Penddleton, started by learn that was not there, but already on the outskirts of the town, exactly Fortescue. Once reached a height (as it passes through it I knew was the Malborough), I was lucky enough to enter into an avenue unnamed, but then were kind enough to tell me that was called Rowland Hill Road.
That avenue was flanked by about fifty brick houses that were not distinguished from each other by more than its floral decoration.
In most countries, when a house is completed, the architects will go a little further and strive to build a different one. Here, when a house is finished, they do not lose an inch of land and, side by side, built the same house. Actually, only when an Englishman sees his wife's face can be sure to have entered his house, admitting that he´s not a drunk.
In Rowland Hill Road I noticed that some houses bore a name, a number other, never both, and sometimes neither one nor the other.
I asked a neighbor, who was working in his garden, if it knew the house of Mayor Thompson.
-- Do you mean The Castle?.
-- No, The Tower ...
-- Yes, it is the same.
I discovered then that Mayor was living in The Tower, which was The Castle, Penddleton, which was Fortescue. Overall, quite far from Rowland Hill Road, which had left behind was quite a while, but in which I still continued to face.
It is fair to clarify that things are just as well in the field. In London is much more complicated. In fact, there almost all houses resemble but have exceptional numbers. The search for the very Victorian mansion Mrs Cripplestone in Lavendish Lane had made me lose precious time by the very stupidly attempt to find the number 58 between 56 and 60.
-- Look around here - told me a dealer, and took me by the side of the number 37.
It can happen that a number is in place, but after some time people is so used to not find that you no longer looks around. Typically, the numbers do not follow order, it would be too monotonous. On one side of the street increases, on the other decreases. Sometimes, number stops its decreasing and begins to increase but later, tired, decreases again.
The same streets are extremely capricious. Just a moment of visitor´s distraction and have changed their names or vanished. Sometimes, lose their name for a minute, get another, and then, as if they had thought, recover the previous one. Marvellous fantasy!.
It can also happen that a street continue carrying the same name to his right side, but will change its name to the left.
Pochet, my friend, just the other day, he earned a reprimand because his wife arrived three hours late at number 55 Prince's Gate, simply because they had forgotten to tell who was on Exhibition Road.
British streets, not only get tired of always using the same name, neither want to be tied ever at the same neighborhood .
It is the sporty side of the English topography, with its glorious uncertainty, due to a fundamental law of the United Kingdom: always give opportunity to the unexpected and the weak. This applies, for example, to the fox: shooting would be disgraceful .
If there were no twenty-three High Street, thirteen King Street and eleven Duke Street in London, what would be the merit to find your own house?.
The same British are lost in its labyrinth. How could happen otherwise?.
One day I was walking down Avenue Shrewbury looking for Shrewbury´s Place and expecting to see the place soon. But in England as a place is anything but a place. A place is a square. But a square can be a close. But observe that a close can be a tiny street. Like an avenue can be a square. In any event, which simplifies the issue is that a "terrace" is never a terrace. It is simply a street. Why break your head?.
Only if you are cursed with the logic of a Continental, you try to find a garden in a "garden" and a gate in a "gate". That shows a lot candidly. When you think that there are sixty-five ways to say street in England, why strive to simply say street?. Mews or crescent is a lot more fun.

We have no special words to say "alley oop". We use "alley oop" or we describe the action like "assists in the air and dunk".

Doctor, did you said capricorn?.
No, "cancer", I said cancer.

Elisabeth, what´s the name of the German who´s hiding my things all time?
Alzheimer, granfather, Alzheimer.