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Oden, Durant, and strip clubs

This seems like a nice parallel seeing how most of us are in Portland...

Lets say you're the kind of person who enjoys strip clubs.  And lets say you visit your local Acrop or equivalent one fine afternoon to find two stages.  A dance is starting at either stage.  What do you do?  Do you:

  1. Go to the stage where our lady friend is immediately removing all costume apparel in the first song?  That would be instant gratification.  As the last item goes flying off into the front row, you sit and smirk at the unfortunate patrons at the other stage who are subjected to the still partially clothed (although maybe more attractive) entertainment.  Those suckers may never see the goods, and it's obvious to you that you made the right choice before the first song even ends.
  2. Or perhaps you prefer to visit the stage where a garment comes off early, then another in the next song, and although you had to wait for it, it just keeps getting better and better right up to the final song.  Now instead of seeing the same routine over and over (with the exeption of the occasional added titillating move in later songs), you've had a significant improvement to look forward to for each number played.  And if you sized up the talent correctly while they were clothed, the last song was worth waiting for since you positioned yourself front and center for a mind blowing acrobatic performance.
While it may be comforting to know your top draft pick is a star right away, I'm looking forward to longer term improvements that promise new excitement every season.  Yeah, I know it's not fair to suggest that Durant will top out right away, but it made the story easier.

Oh, and the idea was not to actually picture Durant and Oden as the strippers.  That kind of ruins the whole concept.  Good luck shaking that visual.

0 recs  |  Comment 16 comments

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trojanskier
I DON'T DO STRIPCLUBS,THEY'RE BORING AND UNETHICAL I'M ABOVE STRIP CLUBS O.K.O.K.

by fatty on Jul 23, 2007 3:36 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

darn it fatty, this little story was just for you
btw, I'm not big on strip clubs either.  The comparison just occurred to me so I figured why not?

by shralpster on Jul 23, 2007 3:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

strip clubs rule
I think they're awesome. Especially in Portland where they have that nice low key, neighborhoody vibe. Some of my best friends stripped their way through college and had a blast.

by Jumbo on Jul 23, 2007 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

A FIRST ! ! !
FATTY DOES CAPS ! ! !
" If you can do it in black wingtips, it aint a sport!" Ken

by Dr Dave on Jul 23, 2007 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah,
but they're all caps.  He's obviously an all the way kind of guy.  No half measures from fatty.

As for the analogy.  Guess it depends on what you are goong to the club for.  My guess is that a majority of patrons are there exactly for immediate gratification.  

by timg56 on Jul 24, 2007 7:51 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

But what if...
Stripper 1 is as attractive as Stripper 2 but has more moves- the type of moves that keep her fans excited for multiple years/songs?

I suppose you also have to consider that Stripper 2 needs a tonsillectomy...

by Champs2009 on Jul 23, 2007 3:40 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

What if
What if stirpper 2 looked like a 45 year old man?

by Sabonis4Ever on Jul 23, 2007 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

OK
no more of that.  My fellow workers look at me funny when I crack up laughing for no apparent reason.

by timg56 on Jul 24, 2007 7:53 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Steak bites at A Crop
on me fellas, just tell em you're with Oden on stage 2

by mjm6783 on Jul 24, 2007 8:13 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ahhhh!
Stop the visuals!  You are a bad, bad man ruining a perfectly enjoyable analogy like that.
"I'm a buffet of goodness."

by TP43 on Jul 23, 2007 5:01 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

The Acrop
Does anyone else think there's something inherently wrong with a salad bar in a strip club?

As for the instant gratification/long term satisfaction argument, I think this is an excellent analogy for the bandwagon vs. hard core fan mentality.  

A bandwagon fan would be the person who would go to the strip club in the first place, seeking a quick peek of something flashy and guaranteed to please, uninterested in long term satisfaction.

The hard core fan would skip the stage and greased up poles in favor of a long term relationship.  They'd go through all the steps; the flirting, courting, anticipation and let-down.  They'd understand that there will be moments of exhilarating success and that there will also be times of confusion, regret and failure.  They will take their lumps and understand that in the end they will be a better person, a better fan because of it.

BTW...this is my first post.  I love the fact that it took a diary about strip clubs to get me to stop lurking and speak up.

 

by The GOden Child on Jul 23, 2007 5:47 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Depends
Are there sneeze guards on the salad bar?

by drawingjeremy on Jul 23, 2007 6:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It's like
spitting straight up in the air and then catching it in your mouth.  Just seems so gross but it just came out of there so what's wrong with it?  Things that make you go hmmmm.
"I'm a buffet of goodness."

by TP43 on Jul 25, 2007 2:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

If you go with stripper 2
...then you also take the risk that she takes so long to finally get undressed, say like 15 songs, you always have the risk that she falls off the pole in song 3 or 4, tears her ACL, breaks her leg, and has microfracture surgery, to eventually end the night before even finishing her show... and thats a sad, sad story...
Brandon Roy 007

by TimG on Jul 23, 2007 8:34 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

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