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Around SBN: Dissecting Nick Diaz's Positive Drug Test

Time-traveler's Journal

So, there I was, relaxing in my Bark-a-lounger after the latest sweet Blazer victory. I decided to engage in a little 'remote viewing' and shoot forward about ten years...

I found myself in this very same spot, albeit this time in a new-fangled, air suspension, self-propelled, atom-powered lounger. The radio (yes, still a viable medium) was playing and the KPTB Sports Roundup was on. This is what I heard:

The five-time World Champion Portland Trailblazers will be hoping to extend their current 12 game win streak tonight against the upstart Boise Banditos, the newest and youngest franchise in the NBA. The Banditos are hoping to repeat an earlier feat when they stopped the Blazers' eight game win streak early in December, 48-44. The Boise full-time zone press has given the league fits since it's introduction by coach Bruce Bowen last year. The Blazers are expected to counter with their trademark "prevent' defense which has limited opponents to an average 5.5 points in the paint... ...Young point gaurd phenom Derek Deckard has announced through his agent David Deckard that he will forego signing a letter-of-intent to Duke or UCLA at this time. The two college powerhouses have been recruiting the younger Deckard since his amazing performance in an exhibition game last July at the NBA Summer League.
"I just want to enjoy fifth grade a little longer" said the slightly shy lad. "Besides, I'm just getting to know that cute, new girl in the second row..." ...In a related story, David Deckard tells KPTB he is being wooed by Trailblazer management concerning the expected vacancy in the Sports Information Director post. Deckard has also been approached by KPTB regarding an opening alongside play-by-play icon Brian Wheeler with the KPTB radio broadcast team. Deckard, as you may recall, earlier declined a plea from the Jeb Bush administration to help broker a peace deal between Israel and Islamistan... ...Former Trailblazer Clifford Robinson replied, "Let's wait and see...I feel like I can still compete" when asked if he would retire after this season... Citing a need to "blaze new trails",Portland general manager Kevin Pritchard has been negotiating with Boise Banditos owner Kobe Bryant. Pritchard, who master-minded the Trailblazer dynasty, sees a new challenge in the young, talented Bandito franchise. His contract with the Blazers expires this year... ...The Portland Trailblazers organization will honor Blazeredge at halftime of the next home game. Blazeredge was one of the pioneer "blogs" in the days of computers. Pushed aside by advancements in telepathic and bio-kryonic communication, computer interaction has become virtually obsolete. However, the early contributions of blogs such as Blazeredge will forever be recognized as stepping stones to the inter-planetary popularity professional basketball now enjoys.

As I re-established contact with the present, the pain of the last three years seemed to fade a bit. If my 'viewing' was accurate, we're in for some good times, folks! And...remember the old adage, "The more things change, the more they stay the same".

Merry Christmas everybody! PS I can hardly wait for that nifty lounger!

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lol
This was funny. Merry Christmas.

by bocious on Dec 23, 2007 6:44 PM PST reply actions  

You forgot
United Nations Resolution #34839723A was approved unanimously by every nation of the world.  The election of Dr. Dave as earth's official Poet Laureate has finally healed all of the long-standing political divisions and the world is at peace.  The only holdouts reside on Lunar Colony 2B, but they are expected to come around as soon as Earth cuts off their supply of wacky weed.

--Dave

by Dave on Dec 23, 2007 8:22 PM PST reply actions  

Yes...
...that WAS in the World News Roundup but I was keyed into the Sports Roundup.

Hey! Wait a minute...How did you.....?

"The older we get, the better we were." Unknown

by Dr Dave on Dec 24, 2007 7:28 AM PST up reply actions  

That was funny
I like the Uncle Cliffy reference.
The Rose Garden is our House.

by JTDuck22 on Dec 23, 2007 10:33 PM PST reply actions  

Nice!
Now what does the future hold for 2009?

by lee3022 on Dec 23, 2007 11:27 PM PST reply actions  

I'll get back to you...
...on that, Lee. If we can beat Seattle, I'll relax in that lounger again and...

On my last time-travel I did catch glimpses of the following as I passed 2009:

Kevin Love and Kyle Singler stay in school...
Blazers make the playoffs...
fatty returns...

"The older we get, the better we were." Unknown

by Dr Dave on Dec 24, 2007 7:23 AM PST up reply actions  

Dr Dave
Thanks, will I still be plump in 10 years or will they come up with a pill to eliminate beer bellies?  
Happy Holidays and Mele Kalikimaka!

by tominhawaii on Dec 24, 2007 12:03 PM PST reply actions  

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